Do childless couples have better sex lives?

[cjfrh1985]

…..because the woman’s body doesn’t change (assuming she doesn’t gain weight, and obviously ageing happens)?

As I said up thread, being left injured IS common but it's not normal.

That's not a suggestion to hide or not talk about the risks but you're not hearing what I'm saying at all so we will leave it there. I'm sorry you suffered an injury.

personally the biggest change to my body and sexuality and vaginal health came with the menopause, not childbirth.
Statistically women who have had children go through the menopause a little later than those who haven’t.

so on that basis the menopause related changed and related issues will come later for those who have had dc

I'd hazard a guess that you aren't a parent.
Fwiw, having a nanny wasn't an option for me, as it wasn't /isn't for many others

Yes all childless women like me are slim svelte fresh eyed goddesses at it like rabbits constantly - or you know, maybe not!

the menopause hits us all whether we've had children or not. Being childless didn't stop vaginal atrophy hitting like a freight train & entirely derailing my sex life

The effect on your relationship with your husband is little to do with your post partum shape. It’s mostly about lack of sleep, lack of time, equal distribution of responsibilities, and prioritisation of your relationship as partners not just parents.

In my experience people who had a really great relationship pre children carry on having a really great relationship after children.

If there are cracks in the relationship or if one person is selfish, irresponsible or particularly needy then parenthood will exacerbate all those things.

Not all women get stretch marks in pregnancy

Completely agree.

No, children dont ruin your sex life. Its up to a couple to keep things fresh, and put in the effort. You absolutely can have sex with children next door its called being quiet. Im as horny as ever after 2kids.

I always make time for sex even if its a quick one. Take care of your mind and body.

I think there's a big disparity between those with kids and careers, and those with kids who don't work in paid employment. My parent friends all work and are exhausted trying to keep so many plates spinning.

I have a 2 year old and a 12 week old. My body doesn’t look any different (I was overweight & had stretch marks before, still the case now). My nipples are slightly darker atm because I’m breastfeeding.

Pre-kids we had sex every day, post kids it’s around 3-4 times a week. It hasn’t ruined our sex life, we still have great sex, just a bit less of it.

We don’t have less sex because of my body. I’d say we have less sex because we’re more tired.

I pushed two babies out - my DH struggled to fit before and still struggles now. Perhaps if I was with someone less well endowed any ‘changes’ would be more obvious!

Completely unnecessary and nasty. It's hardly a stretch to assume that parents of young kids should be parenting and supervising them rather than upstairs shagging.

I am hearing what you're saying, but calling it common, and not normal, doesn't actually change the reality for women with birth injuries.

In what seems like most of the threads on the relationships board about marriage troubles post kids, the woman doesn’t work or is very part time. When one person‘s life stays the same (usually the man’s) and the other person’s is turned upside down, resentment builds. And nothing, er, dries you up more than seething resentment.

Yes due to time/space constraints and sheer exhaustion

Other than a 10cm red line where I had my c sections my body hasn't changed due to pregnancy

Agree

It'll have the same affect on your relationship that any major life change will have

Bereavement, house move, illness, injury, big financial loss or gain...

Unless he only sees you as a hole to plough.

I'm sorry but it actually does, in terms of how they are treated if they seek rehab, recovery or symptoms control healthcare.

It's a whole thing in women's health and the language does actually affect outcomes.

This is an open discussion, l can give my view, if that’s ok with you.
I’m not normalising birth injury! You’ve just said it’s common, but not normal! I don’t think women who have children are on the scrap heap!! Are you just trying to twist things, you’re saying things that l haven’t said.
Why are some posters on here being so defensive, angry.It’s so unnecessary, taking your frustration out on other posters.

We both 45 and have 1 child - our sex life has ebbed and flowed during our relationship for sure.

But I wfh full time and DH 2 days a week so sex on lunchtime when DS is in school is fun! We’ve had less during the summer holidays 😂😂

But kids are only at that supervise at all times stage for such a short time!

Having a kid doesn't mean having a YOUNG kid for long.

It only feels it at the time, but it's a tiny % of the parenting years really

Ugly little things aren’t they 😂

Not sure why this "explanation" was needed? I was responding to that particularly aggressive poster, not asking how long kids need supervision for....

I have 3 kids, with DH who I've been with since I was 20 and him 23. I'm the same weight as then - BMI 18 - and much more toned as I started exercising for my sanity when I had kids! And our sex life is better than ever, as I've become more body-confident with age. It's better and more frequent. No idea how my vagina compares from when I was 20, funny enough my DH isn't noncy so I don't think he thinks about that, any more than I think - how does this shape up compared with 15years ago - when I'm enjoying his penis. Having kids really showed me who he was, and I find it insanely attractive to have married such a generous, kind, hardworking man. He's just so manly. Oh, my - I'm getting a bit flustered.

The comment being referred to, is unnecessary and nasty.Why are you being so defensive!?

Exactly.
That 'explanation’ wasn’t needed, completely irrelevant, just patronising!

This! DH and I's is currently better than in it was in our 20s! Ironically since I stopped The Pill - never really wanted it when I was on that.
Just condoms now and, when I ovulate, I'm particularly horny as hell. Add to that no kids - so body still the same and we can do it whenever, loud as ever and wherever we like!
So the short answer is YES!