Page 4 | Do childless couples have better sex lives?

cjfrh1985 · 2025-08-09T10:18:36+00:00

…..because the woman’s body doesn’t change (assuming she doesn’t gain weight, and obviously ageing happens)?

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:07

PuttingOnTheKitsch · 10/08/2025 13:03

This is a very good point about men's bodies. Underneath all the sniggering about Viagra is the fact that men's bodies and sex drive changes too. That's why the intimacy, as mentioned by a previous poster, is so important too.

There is this weird myth that not having children = staying 20 years old forever. That's not true. You will still age and you will still have the issues that aging and those around you aging will bring.

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Yep

And if it suits the narrative of the listener, then a 35year old fondly remembering their "pre kids hoe era" is "proof" that kids ruin sex

But to the story teller it's just nostalgia for that stage of youth, which passes regardless (not that you can't be a hoe in your 40s or 60s, but you're never gonna be that 21year old hoe again, kids or no kids)

JHound · 10/08/2025 13:08

cjfrh1985 · 10/08/2025 12:13

Thanks. If your children have moved out you must be 40//50s?

I’m 20s but I always thought that by 50 people were having much less sex anyway (not none, but less).

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I thought the number was your year of birth.

Are you a man?

Whatapileofshit · 10/08/2025 13:10

JHound · 10/08/2025 13:05

If the sex were that good, it wouldn't all be ONS my friend. You/they would want to go there twice.

Not necessarily.

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That may have been a bit snarky of me, I admit! But equally by nature of the surprise element ONS will feature a lot of duds, so I don't think having lots of ONS is somehow a measure of a better sex life than with one partner (who does his job well!)

pizzaHeart · 10/08/2025 13:10

KimberleyClark · 09/08/2025 11:44

Well they can do it anywhere in the house whenever they want, so.....

This ^

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:12

I can also say with absolutely certainty, that the type of incel minded man that seeks barely legal looking porno vag, would NOT be the kind of man I would want to have sex with had I not had kids

Do you ever hear grown women brag "he has the penis of a 19year old" ? 😯

Real men don't talk about real women that way either.

OP perhaps you do need to get out there and have a bit more real adult sex before considering kid

Justchilling07 · 10/08/2025 13:16

JHound · 10/08/2025 13:02

Vaginas can change but for many reasons.

Mine has changed and I have exactly 0 kids.

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Yes, vaginas can change for many reasons, being overweight, not or unable to keep physically fit, my point being, it’s ok, for people to say their vagina hasn’t changed.Some people are getting, quite angry about this, why!

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:21

Justchilling07 · 10/08/2025 13:16

Yes, vaginas can change for many reasons, being overweight, not or unable to keep physically fit, my point being, it’s ok, for people to say their vagina hasn’t changed.Some people are getting, quite angry about this, why!

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Well if you haven't had kids, and your vagina hasn't changed, you don't know it's because you haven't had kids, because you don't know whether it would have or not

It is not an inevitability that you emerge from childbirth unrecognisable to your former self forevermore

JHound · 10/08/2025 13:24

Justchilling07 · 10/08/2025 13:16

Yes, vaginas can change for many reasons, being overweight, not or unable to keep physically fit, my point being, it’s ok, for people to say their vagina hasn’t changed.Some people are getting, quite angry about this, why!

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Yep - I don’t get people getting angry at people sharing their truth and the truth of others around them.

I recall having this discussion with friends who (don’t want to get into context) who essentially said the reason I was not experiencing something they were was due to me not having kids and the exchanges they experienced to their vaiginas post birth (no “injuries” just changes). I don’t think it’s bad for people to share their experience.

CommissarySushi · 10/08/2025 13:26

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:04

No they can't, but there is non curative rehab and recovery care required in those cases.

They should not just be labelled as "broken" end of

Same as not all injuries sustained in a marathon are fully recoverable

But these are birth INJURIES

Not the natural inevitable consequences of a vulva and vagina pre and post it's first childbirth

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They're not inevitable, but they're also not always preventable. Nobody even told me it was something that could happen to me. I think it's wrong to tell women that child birth will have no effect on your vagina, as long as you/HCPs do everything right.

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:26

pizzaHeart · 10/08/2025 13:10

This ^

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No

No we couldn't. Not at our age.

It's not an empty house issue at our age it's a musculoskeletal/ falls risk issue now 🤣

we aren't hanging from the chandeliers no more regardless

But it's also a better sex thing too. It's not about being performative.

justasking111 · 10/08/2025 13:27

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:07

Yep

And if it suits the narrative of the listener, then a 35year old fondly remembering their "pre kids hoe era" is "proof" that kids ruin sex

But to the story teller it's just nostalgia for that stage of youth, which passes regardless (not that you can't be a hoe in your 40s or 60s, but you're never gonna be that 21year old hoe again, kids or no kids)

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Well I wouldn't be doing it in the wilds of Snowdonia any more in the rain with just the sheep watching.

Nor in a field full of corn. Or in an MG roadster.

I preferred in front of a fire on a soft rug 😂

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:28

CommissarySushi · 10/08/2025 13:26

They're not inevitable, but they're also not always preventable. Nobody even told me it was something that could happen to me. I think it's wrong to tell women that child birth will have no effect on your vagina, as long as you/HCPs do everything right.

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Nobody is saying that either, I'm sorry that that's what you're hearing but it isn't even close to what I'm saying

I'm saying it is a disservice to birth injured women, to call birth injury normal and inevitable.

Confusdworriedmum · 10/08/2025 13:31

Well how would you know? You only know what your experience is like. I had a very good sex life with my ex even after having 3 children. We were pretty spontaneous too (obviously not as much as people who don't have kids). Currently single but I'm not sure I'd want to have sex with a new partner if my kids were in the house. Not sure why but it seems different so in that case I suppose I wouldn't be having much sex.

GreenBookshelves · 10/08/2025 13:31

mydogisthebest · 09/08/2025 11:44

I would think almost definitely yes. Couples with children are more tired for a start. They have a period after a birth when there is little or no sex and that period can, for some, last quite a while.

Also giving birth often causes problems which means the woman does not want sex. Having to be quiet when children are around,

What a ridiculous assumption that couples with children are “more tired”. There are other things in life that can be tiring, not just having children in the home. And, if MN is to be believed, you all have 6-figure salaries for working 2 hours a day and employ nannies and cleaners and have time to post on here all day.

TheIceBear · 10/08/2025 13:33

@Avoidhumans Vagina Back to how it was how ? Mine actually became tighter after birth as did some other people I know which I was not expecting.
my sex life is definitely much worse though because of the lack of time to have it

LondonLady1980 · 10/08/2025 13:34

I imagine childfree couples can have more frequent sex, louder sex and longer sex sessions….

But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better sex..

Sometimes I have the most amazing orgasms from a 5 minute quickie under the duvet with my hand over my mouth whilst the children are watching a film in the next room 🤣🤣

Crushed23 · 10/08/2025 13:35

Ifailed · 10/08/2025 11:57

I had the most active sex life when TTC our first, does that count?

Great answer.

OP, I’m also on the fence about having a baby (although leaning more and more towards having one now that I’m in a stable relationship) and honestly I’m terrified of what it will do to my body. I know that’s incredibly shallow, but I am an exercise fanatic and love being skinny and toned. It’s such a huge part of my identity and a major source of self-confidence (again, so shallow…). The thought of losing that due to birth injuries, being too busy/tired to maintain my exercise regime, suffering from PND etc. is really worrying. I hope I can get over it somehow.

I will say that MN skews VERY negative r.e. having babies, so I must remember not to base the decision on what I read on here.

bumbaloo · 10/08/2025 13:35

Avoidhumans · 09/08/2025 11:38

I cant speak for all women but for me yes.
My body has changed over the years but im still in good shape i dont have to be quiet when i do it.
Im childless and single so no worries really.
I do 45 minutes work out a day with no one interrupting me.
My sex life is just ONS.

Both my sisters told me that having a child can change the vagina although it all goes back to normal it never goes back to what it was.

I think the OP is talking about people in relationships but maybe not.
my vagina is just fine thanks.

JHound · 10/08/2025 13:35

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:28

Nobody is saying that either, I'm sorry that that's what you're hearing but it isn't even close to what I'm saying

I'm saying it is a disservice to birth injured women, to call birth injury normal and inevitable.

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A change is not necessarily a birth injury.

CommissarySushi · 10/08/2025 13:36

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:28

Nobody is saying that either, I'm sorry that that's what you're hearing but it isn't even close to what I'm saying

I'm saying it is a disservice to birth injured women, to call birth injury normal and inevitable.

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I disagree. Birth injuries happen, they're normal and sometimes there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

I think it's a disservice to lie to women about the possible effects of child birth. Women should be fully informed.

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 10/08/2025 13:37

What an ignorant post towards both the childless and those with children.

SkylarFalls · 10/08/2025 13:39

GreenBookshelves · 10/08/2025 13:31

What a ridiculous assumption that couples with children are “more tired”. There are other things in life that can be tiring, not just having children in the home. And, if MN is to be believed, you all have 6-figure salaries for working 2 hours a day and employ nannies and cleaners and have time to post on here all day.

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I'm more tired because I'm older. And that isn't temporary like babies are!

Other times I've been as tired as when I've had a baby:

My job during COVID (was one of the busier fields, wasn't in the banana bread camp)
Renovating a fucking fixer upper (never again)
Pre HRT (no, that was SO MANY TIMES WORSE than new baby tiredness, that was debilitating blinding exhaustion)
New puppy, "teen" puppy.

Praying4Peace · 10/08/2025 13:39

autienotnaughty · 09/08/2025 11:49

probably yes although I would say the impact of raising children (energy, emotionally, financially, stress) are more likely culprits than body change

This in abundance as parents will understand

Rewis · 10/08/2025 13:39

Well, I wouldn't make such a correlation between having kids-gaining weight-worse sex life.

Childfree couples are more likely to have opportunities to have sex. I think that is a bigger factor than babyweight

Justchilling07 · 10/08/2025 13:41

Whatapileofshit · 10/08/2025 12:57

I couldn't possibly tell you what it was like to be a childless 60 year old woman. And that's why I never will.

But as a 40 something year old woman with teenagers who had a decade of sex before I had children I can speak about both sides. So yes, I do find it offensive when people come on to a site that is "making parents lives easier" to talk about how women's bodies are some how not good enough for good sex because they had children and to make up wild comments like they can't have sex at 2pm on a Sunday.

Yes, it touched a fucking nerve, because it's ridiculous and offensive. It's misogynistic and it's at best, delusional and creepy with regarding her still having a teenage body.

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How do you know, the poster you responded to is 60
or any other childless women on here are.Anyone can be on MN, it’s actually not just for women who have children, sorry if this further angers you, there’s no criteria, because it’s anonymous!
Their comment wasn’t misogynistic, you were being aggressive, completely over the top.
Posters are just giving their view, it’s not aimed at you personally as a way to make you feel not good enough.
Now you’re calling this poster creepy and delusional! Only because they said their figure hasn’t changed!
Honestly, you just need to calm down!