Husband has completely ruined our weekend away

[Breezeopal]

We were supposed to be going away today in the UK for a short break with our two children (both under 4).

DH went out straight from work to see friends which had been arranged for weeks but in his words was just to be a meal and quick catch up. I had barely heard from him all evening and he didn’t reply to the couple of messages I sent after the time he said he’d be home.

At about 10pm one of his friends called me and said I would need to pick him up as he can’t get in a taxi because he had been sick and it was on his clothes. Pub about 15 minutes drive away. I said I can’t leave my two children so ended up having to call my Mum (who was in bed) to come to mine whilst I drove to pick him up.

Husband was absolutely slaughtered, it turned out he hadn’t ate anything they didn’t go to dinner and had a pub crawl instead. On the way home it started absolutely stinking and when we got home it transpired he had soiled himself!!

We don’t have a bedroom spare so he has spent the night on the sofa and is in no fit state to do anything currently- he was meant to be driving.

We were supposed to leave by 9am to make the most of day 1 which there is no chance of happening.

I feel like saying fuck it and not going at all but I want a nice time with my children so I am torn…

I would 100% streamline what I’d packed, utilise the front seat and go. Do not rely on your DH. He’s shown absolutely no consideration for you, but most importantly your children.

If your DH wants to get rip roaring drunk that’s on him, but don’t allow him to shit in your car and then wait patiently till he feels up to going on holiday! What a joker!

if he’s got so incapable last night he’s not going to be able to safely drive until tomorrow tbh. Honestly pack up what you can in your car - you have the whole front passenger seat spare now. He can follow in his car when he’s fit to drive.

Easily solved.

You take yourself and your DCs and essentials today. He joins you this evening. He can’t drive now. He’ll still be over the limit.

Leave his stuff and him behind. Plenty of space in your car then surely? And I'd be blocking his number until I got home.

This is a joke...right?

Poor guy? An adult who makes decisions that lead to him shitting himself? Who chooses to get so hammered that he vomits and shits all over himself the night before a family holiday?

He has agency and (presumably) cognitive understanding of what he's done. He's not 'poor guy's. He's gross

Well next time tell the friend to take him home with him.
Or drop him off at a local travelodge.

You should not be embarrassed but he should

Is there a pattern of him ruining days out and trips?

He has behaved like an immature single man. This would really give me the ick.

I dumped a guy I’d been with for 18 months for standing me upon my birthday and going out on the piss with his mates instead. I will not tolerate that kind of behaviour.

This...

Don't let you OH's revolting behavior stop you having the weekend away.

Good God. RAISE YOUR BAR!!! You deserve so much better.

I would divorce him over this too. No time for selfish alcoholics. Go on the holiday and whilst there, tell him you expect him to be gone when you get home. Take his car, stop making excuses. Presumably yours is still filthy from last night anyway?

Yeah I'd be off with the kids, you really don't need much for a few nights away and at this stage you're not likely to enjoy a break with him there 🤮

It's amazing how much you can cram in a small car if you want to! I know it can be daunting on your own but the kids will have fab memories and not every photo will be ruined by his hungover self

I would go without him. Take your time getting there.

mind you, I’d also take his car keys so he couldn’t join, but that’s the petty part of me.

Go in the tiny car. You’ve got the passenger seat to make extra space. He can join you later with anything you couldn’t pack (if you want him to).

I assume your camping so need tent, sleeping bags and all the gear.

Is this usual for him or do you think he is unwell?

Will you lose money of you don't go on the weekend away?

I think I'd give it up as a bad job and not bother. Even if you go, you will be fuming all the time you're there which will be a waste of time.

Take less stuff and go in your car and enjoy the time with your children.

Sometimes we just need a little push to get out of our comfort zone.

You can drive your car there, and you can take less than planned. Just what you and the DC need.

If ever there is a way to state your case and show your independence, then this is it.

Don't let him sabotage something you have been looking forward to.

Get angry. And get the car packed.

Adults can have issues too. I bet hes ashamed today. I can say poor guy if I want. Agree it was also gross behaviour.

Poor guy?

Poor kids.

My car is tiny, it gets bags of stuff jammed in all over the place, we go on weekends away all the time in it, get it packed up and go!

All depends on how far the OP is travelling, and as she only passed her test last year, she may not feel confident enough to drive a long distance. To be added onto her husband's insurance, is something he'd need to do, as the policy is in his name. Either pack enough for a couple of days, and take your car - if you feel confident in doing so. Or take the children out for the day close to home. Your husband should be grovelling here. He's ruined the start of your holiday, as he's not in any fit state to drive. It takes an hour for each unit of alcohol he drank to dissipate from his body, so he may be OK to drive this afternoon, but realistically it's likely to be tonight or a case of leaving early tomorrow. If you're not going to be arriving at your accommodation today, you need to notify someone regarding this too. Your husband owes you and your Mum and apology, at the very least. My husband has never ever been that drunk, he's shit himself, that is vile. Yes, he's been drunk, he's been sick - thankfully never on himself/in the car but in the toilet. Your husband knew you were going away today, yet he showed no consideration for this, and had no self-control.

Why on earth won’t you go without him. Surely you can fit a couple of overnight bags in your car, no matter how tiny. I’ve got a tiny Smart Car and manage to fit all my camping gear for a week in it. Your car must be bigger than that!

Even if you don't go on your break today Op don't stay at home, take your DC out and leave him to it. He doesn't get to spoil your break then expect you to take care of his hangover, he can find his own painkillers and clean up his own mess

So drunk that he shit himself is so gross!

I wouldn’t let him ruin your break though. Dump his stuff and take your car. He can follow later if he wants to join you (or you want him to come)

Come on OP get your shit together (excuse the pun) pack the essentials and take your kids on your own. I'd also be blocking his number for the weekend selfish prick

"poor guy" 🤔what the actual are you on about?

I despair