Taking a child scared of dogs into a dog friendly coffee shop

[KimberleyClark]

DH and went to a local dog friendly coffee shop this afternoon with our neighbour’s two dogs, a golden retriever and a terrier cross who are staying with us for a few days while their owner is away. At a nearby table there was a father with his little girl of five or six who was obviously very scared of the dogs, who are both sweet natured and were just minding their own business and not wandering about or anything. When we got up to leave the little girl ran away into a corner. I suppose he might have been trying to acclimatise her, but if he was he wasn’t going the right way about it, having a chat with us, asking the dogs’ names etc might have been better. AIBU to think that if you know your child is that scared of dogs,a dog friendly cafe is not the best place to take them?

Personally I'd much rather have a dog in a coffee shop than a cat shitting in my vegetable beds but I guess we don't all get what we want.

We have about 6 cafes in our one street town, lets face it they're everywhere now - and only one is clearly happy to have dogs there. I've never seen any in the others.

If cafes and restaurants would put up “no dog” signs I’d absolutely choose to go there instead. But I don’t think they could because you have to let guide dogs in, which in the past meant well trained, calm dogs, sitting under a table. Not emotional support dogs barking at each other, or sitting on laps licking tables.

We stayed in a formerly high end hotel last year, and they had two dogs in the dining room.

There are two dogs in my db’s workplace that can’t cope being left alone, and one longstanding, but not senior, member of staff quit because she felt that being expected to walk dogs and scoop poop wasn’t how she wanted to use her degree.

If you can enlighten me where to go to avoid dogs, I’d really appreciate the tips. I have an autistic teen who witnessed a scary dog attack as a child and therapy has done nothing and it would be really nice to be able to take him out somewhere he doesn’t have to face his fears and for once could just relax.

😭😭😭 university open days, my God

I still don’t understand why anyone needs to take their dog to a coffee shop. Or to John Lewis.

Good plan. Where doesn't allow dogs these days please?

It’s starting to revert back now. 2 of our local cafes were dog friendly and are now no dogs one even won’t allow them on the patio area. They’ve refurbished both too and they are now lovely and hygienic (had very quickly got run down and grubby in their dog friendly era!)

Coffee shops are a business. And some, like where I live in a tourist area on the coast, are kept going through the winter by the only people out….dog walkers.
So, some may not really want dogs ( frankly, I’m a dog lover and I don’t want the badly behaved ones!) but they need them to survive.
And no, you can’t just “tie your dog outside to a lamppost” because dog theft is now rife.

It's quite remarkable isn't it. I love dogs and seek out places that are dog friendly. I quite regularly can't go in places because they don't allow dogs, dogs never jump up at me or slaver over me or knock children I'm with over, I rarely hear dogs barking in dog friendly places and I have never tripped over a dog or it's lead. Isn't it odd that none of these things happen to me, a dog lover, but yet it happens ALL THE TIME to people who don't like them. Very strange, it's almost like the dog haters are blowing things massively out of proportion but surely they wouldn't do that just to make a point... 🤔

@buffyajp @HoskinsChoice can you name any of these dog-free places? I would love to know whereabouts they all are (NB not a dog hater).

If dogs in cafes is as prevalent it’s being made out to be then perhaps the people moaning need to adjust.

My daughter is 5yo and is scared of dogs. Dogs are everywhere, trotting around shopping centre, John Lewis, Monsoon, and barely any cafes don’t allow dogs now. The two dog free spaces I can think of are the children’s play park and the school playing field but owners take their dogs in their despite the signs. I guess if you’re never on the other side looking for dog free spaces you wouldn’t realise this so not your fault OP but it would be hard to avoid dog friendly places.

And @Jan168 totally agree re the cats. I should have said to us the dogs aren’t a mega problem despite my DD being scared as they are easy enough to stay back from, I was just pointing out they are pretty common in cafes etc

Except as several of us have pointed out we are actually not dog haters!

I’ve tried googling dog free coffee shops, pubs etc near me. It just seems to produce lists of dog friendly places instead.

Maybe he isn't a local and doesn't know which cafes are dog encouraging or not.

But to clarify - in the UK are dogs allowed inside the actual cafe? Or just the outside areas - courtyard, beer gardens etc?

In Australia animals aren't allowed inside food businesses by law unless they are assistance animals. And it's up to the business owner if they are allowed in the outside area.

But dog owners could argue the same. I have occasionally struggled to find somewhere that is dog friendly. I guess if you're never on the other side looking for fog friendly spaces you wouldn't realise... It works both ways.

What help are you getting for your daughter? Keeping her away from dogs will just ensure she remains afraid of them, I presume you're looking at ways to help her overcome her fear?

Have been sat back with pop corn and am watching with interest. Shall we play PP name change top trumps? Have spotted a couple already 😂

Ooh but if anyone can tell me which shopping centres are dog friendly? I don’t know any near me other than Cheshire Oaks at Ellesmere Port. I though shopping centres only allowed assistance dogs (guide dogs, medical alert dogs etc)?

This seems to have become should dogs be in cafes or not as opposed to the original question which was was the Dad unreasonable to take his child to a dog friendly cafe when she was scared of dogs.

I don’t think anyone can say he was unreasonable based on the OP, There might have been many reasons why they ended up in that cafe or why the DD seemed scared on that occasion. It wasn’t as if he was standing on a table shouting banish all dogs forthwith or having a go at dog owners. The OPs main complaint seems to be that he didn’t ask the dogs names and engage in doggy type chat. As lots of people have pointed out dogs are everywhere and children have to deal with this but it’s completely normal and sensible for a 5 year old to be wary/scared of dogs and that’s something parents of small children have to navigate.

They still do it in lots of other countries. It’s just here we treat animals like bloody children.

Well it depends, it could help her be more comfortable but it's unlikely because you normally need sloe exposure not going into a room full of dogs. Also if it's a genuine phobia and not just fear then absolutely not, because it will make it worse.

Lots of places allow dogs into the premises.

Australia treat their dogs very differently to how we do in the UK, my sisters dog always slept in the yard, not something we do in the UK.

Yanbu I get this with people in thr forest, there are 100s of playgrounds or parks around I don’t take my dog because of children and the one place I can take her is a forest but a couple times I have had scared children and their ignorant parents moaning she is not on a lead. Dogs need exercise and we are a dog friendly country, if people don’t like it they can move to Dubai or Sudan where they don’t like dogs.

I agree but if it isn’t your business you have no right to demand this.
I personally think dogs should always be outside but if I see them inside I’m not going to cry about it

So why don’t you move there since you have such an issue?