Taking a child scared of dogs into a dog friendly coffee shop

[KimberleyClark]

DH and went to a local dog friendly coffee shop this afternoon with our neighbour’s two dogs, a golden retriever and a terrier cross who are staying with us for a few days while their owner is away. At a nearby table there was a father with his little girl of five or six who was obviously very scared of the dogs, who are both sweet natured and were just minding their own business and not wandering about or anything. When we got up to leave the little girl ran away into a corner. I suppose he might have been trying to acclimatise her, but if he was he wasn’t going the right way about it, having a chat with us, asking the dogs’ names etc might have been better. AIBU to think that if you know your child is that scared of dogs,a dog friendly cafe is not the best place to take them?

You’re right, of course. Not sure why some people think their personal preference trumps that.

You’re calling out teatime for being judgmental yet you have set up this thread in judging the dad’s parenting.

I haven’t called anyone judgemental?

I’d love to know where you live that is so dog friendly. I find it a nightmare travelling with mine because so many places won’t let him in.

Not sure how you arrive at the conclusion that people are "deluded." You've no idea why that person is there and have assumed that just because they take a dog into a cafe that they must take the dog everywhere with them. Even if they do, that is none of your business frankly. I am so sick of the anti dog rants on this forum. We have to put up with badly behaved kids when we go into cafés. Dogs in cafés are not unhygienic as they sit on the floor. They are far more hygienic than little "Johnny " who picks his nose and wipes his bogies on the table 😖

Going out of your way to scare children? That’s so cool! 😬

I take my dog into our local café as it is literally in the middle of the park that I walk her in. It would make no sense for me to go home, then go back there.

What town is that then? No dog free cafes?9

Same here. I think that's a Mumsnet fantasy.🤣🤣

Not at all. I would say at least 90% of dog owners who see my child visibly distressed their dog stop and tell her it won’t hurt her. All they need to do is carry on with their day and let me support my dd but they try and engage her in a conversation. When I explain she’s scared of all dogs not just their particular one they repeat that theirs won’t hurt her. It’s like they have been given a script. I have met some who will kindly shorten their dogs lead or put a lead on their dog when they’ve clocked her or walk right over the other side of the path to her but they are definitely in the minority.

I’m not going to say the exact town as don’t want to out myself but it’s a town in Sussex, has around 10(?) cafes, plus the ones in the park - which obviously I’d expect to be dog-friendly

But having said that, I’ve never noticed any cafes in Brighton that aren’t dog-friendly either - there’s a challenge for everyone who says it’s easy to find somewhere that doesn’t accept dogs; find a coffee shop in Brighton!

Omg yes!

"Come on, come and give him a little stroke!"

No, fuck off.

Ahh bless. 🤣

A soul dog. Thats a new one on me. Think I’d call mine James or Aretha 😁

Also known a as a 'heart dog'
A dog that was very special, and you had a special bond with. Nothing to be ridiculed. Something to be celebrated.

Quite agree and also many parents, not necessarily just the younger ones either, are too busy looking at their phones or chatting with friends to notice what's going on with their child/children or are just not perceptive enough to appreciate the situation going on before their own eyes or, other than become aggressive, to know how to handle it! 🙄😥

I never invite strokes.
My Dog doesn't like children, only her human brother and sister. 😆
I was never a dog person. I bought my springer/cocker from a homeless man, December 2022, she had fleas, worms, a skin infection.
A nice vet bill before Christmas.
She's really smart and well trained. I fell in love.

Nobody is trying to ban you. Just the creature that you use in lieu of actual human companionship.

This.

I raised 3 dogs and I've come to hate them by being attacked, chased and tripped. If you want to have it off lead or indoors it should be muzzled for everyone's peace of mind.

Funnily enough was in this cafe again yesterday with the dogs and had the opposite experience to my OP. A woman came over with her toddler and asked if a child could stroke the Golden. Golden was very calm and chilled and the child seemed to enjoy the experience.

Sorry people prefer dogs to you. Can’t see why!

That's a completely different scenario to one where the child is already distressed by the dog and the owner then tells the child to stroke the dog. The latter, if not handled well just adds to the child's distress. It doesn't help them deal with their fear and it adds to their distrust of the humans who keep downplaying their fear.

That sounds lovely for all concerned 😊 whereas it's not lovely for a scared child when the owner is convinced that they will be 'cured' if only they will pat their dog. I guess they are trying to be helpful, but is really isn't.

I wish there were more options to help with this, it is no fun being scared of dogs and can be quite restrictive trying to avoid them so that your child can relax.

Any cafe or establishment which offered a dog-free environment would make an absolute fortune. Imagine thinking a child has less right to be in a cafe than a dog.

Absolutely unhinged.