Help me see clearly with in laws - taking my daughter on a scary ride without our permission

[InLawDramaAgain]

Due to issues with my inlaws in the past - especially MIL not respecting boundaries and using lots of emotional blackmail I can't see clearly with them.

Me, DH and our 2 children went to Gulliver's World with MIL, BIL and his wife. MIL, BIL and his wife said they would take my 33 month old to the play area bit while me and DH waited in line with our elder son for a ride. The ride was having technical issues so after 15 minutes we went to find them. BIL and his wife had taken our 33 month of DD on the pirate ship ride. While MIL was watching. They did not ask us if this was okay. She just meet the minimum height requirements as she is tall for her age. Every time DD looked at the ride she pulled a terrified look on her face and shaking her head. I was both annoyed and shocked at the time and busy conforting my daughter and did not want to cause a scene at the park and DH never confronted them about this.

They are very enmeshed and from susan forwards toxic inlaws are the engulfers, the controllers and the critics. I am the black sheep. They have negatively effect my mental health. DH is still in the FOG and been conditioned his entire childhood not to roak any boats with his family - its been a long road to set up boundaries with them and when I bring up new issues he just accusses me of causing drama.

1. AIBU to be annoyed by this - taking her on a ride she wasn't ready for without consulting us. And my wet lettuce of a husband not wanting to confront them.
2. AIBU to also send a messge to MIL and BIL addressing this issue
3. AIBU to say no unsupervised access to our children from them - I must be there as DH is too much of a wet lettuce to advocate for them

@InLawDramaAgain OMG so your DD is around 94,608,000 seconds old and they took her on a kids ride 😂

Honestly drop the pearls your crushing them, you lost me at 33 month old.

You are allowed to go on the pirate ship when you’re 475 months, not long to go!!

I would think having a parent who uses 33 months instead of 2 and half or nearly 3, uses therapy speech and calls the child's other parent a wet lettuce is very likely to have a longer impact on the child than an age appropriate ride at a kids theme park .

Jeez, are you such a Drama Llama with every little event?

I’d leave the psycho-babble books etc alone and enjoy life a bit. You sound as through you despise your husband and his family. 🤷‍♀️

So nearly 3 years old. Most people stop counting in months once the child is over 1 don't they? 😕

Sounds like you not liking them has clouded your judgement.
If she was tall enough then the only issue is she might not have liked the ride which can happen at any age and only one way to find out.

Who is Susan? How many months old is she?

Bet she loved it. Aunts and uncles are supposed to do fun stuff with kids. Relax and move on.

Gulliver land is literally designed for small children between 2-12, its not an adult park with 'scary' rides. What is with this and the slide from yesterday or the took 11 year olds with me to see a 12A.

Putting a child on a child friendly ride and a children's park that they meet all requirements for is not an issues.

Susan Forward was 981 months old when she died in 2020.

So probably not old enough for the pirate boat either

One of the unexpected joys of parenting for me is seeing the wonderful relationship develop between my children and their grandma that is so completely independent of me and their dad. They are now adults and older teens and I still find it one of the cutest things ever.

If you want your dc to grow up not needing to layer themselves in ridiculous therapy speak then help build their relationships with wider family and show a united front with their dad instead of telling them their grandparents are terrible people and their dad is a wet lettuce who doesn’t gaf about them. If they were truly that terrible you wouldn’t have been on a day out and you wouldn’t have left your 33 month old with them so your older dc could have both parents. Your kid has been on a kids ride at a kids theme park and you are turning it into something spiteful to make yourself feel righteous. In a few years you will be complaining that ex-dh is allowing contact with his narc parents during his contact time.

For the love of god, don't say 33 month old. Say almost 3 year old.

Gullivers world is literally designed for small children. A pirate ship is just a big swing. It's fine.

AIBU to say no unsupervised access to our children from them - I must be there as DH is too much of a wet lettuce to advocate for them

You were there this time but left your kid with them.

No need for dramatics & saying this & that to people.

Just don't live her with your ILs again!

33 Month Old 🤣

When I opened this I thought you were going to say they took your newborn on that Oblivion thing at Alton Towers

You sound like a nightmare. They did nothing wrong.

The moment I read 33 months followed by the psychobabble bullshit, my heart just sank.

A small child went on a ride designed for small children at a small children's playground? Yeah......nope, it's no good, I simply cannot take this seriously.

Please come back op !! Your arse is waiting for you on a plate

This is not what angry looks like - this is weapons grade mockery.

You're really not that good at reading between the lines.

Nah, she's fine.

The OP saying 33 months was a transparent attempt to manipulate us into thinking her daughter is a baby and agree that her MIL is a terrible person.

It’s not always easy to spot which rides will be scary. My Gds was dying to go on some Ninja ride at Legoland - we’d gone for his 5th birthday. He was petrified and wanted to get off! TBH I wasn’t surprised - it was horrible. An older boy, maybe 7, in our party found it very scary, too.

It appears as if they will never do right by you.

They looked after your child as a favour to you, your sil took her on a ride that is suitable for her height, but you're still unhappy!
Take a step back and think rationally about this. You're letting your resentment cloud your thinking. Ridiculous.

You went from AIBU to he pissed off at in laws for taking my child on a rode i didn't think she was ready for to

• black sheep
• engulfed
• critics
• enmeshed
• toxic
• mental health

And ended with supervised contact.

You must realise that's quite an escalation?

Yeah, it would have been nice to check if it was going to be her first time on a big ride but she met the safety requirements and was safe, albeit a little worried about being on it. But its a 1 minute ride. A.3 year old can tolerate some very short-term, very minor discomfort.

You might not like thier decision but their judgement was sound and you're being OTT.

Do you ever just think "I wouldn't have done that but no harm done"? Or does every decision you disagree with need addressing?

That's the impression I got too 😲🙄🤦‍♂️

Also it was BIL and his partner who took the child on the ride. So why is MIL getting the flack?