AIBU to ask if you had your own Mother present when you gave birth?

[Wiseplumant]

I am interested in this because my own mother died years before my DD was born, so it was never an issue. I think I would have been fairly horrified at the thought! But then I was only 15 when she died, so we may have had a closer relationship by the time I had kids of my own. Did anyone decide to have their Mother present but changed their mind when it came to time. Or did you definitely decide you didn't want her there, but changed your mind and really needed her there? What about women who were with their daughters as they gave birth, did you want to /feel privalaged to be there? Or was it very traumatic for you,but you felt that if your daughter wanted you there you would be there no matter what?

Good go no! I would never, ever have wanted my mother there… but I didn’t let her come anywhere near me until a few weeks after the birth either, so that probably gives you an idea of the kind of relationship we have.

Having said that, I don’t know anyone who’s had their mother at the birth of their child.

No because I don’t think she could support me in the way I need. I reckon she’d be alright for a caesarean but would have very little patience for a natural birth. There’s no way she’d be sitting around for hours.

I had my mum with my first as ex was away with work.
she spent the whole time telling the midwife that she always wanted to be one and stayed at the business end watching and giving me a full running commentary of what she was seeing. She’s now got vascular dementia and doesn’t know who I am and I’m actually pleased I have that memory of us together at such a huge life changing event

With my first i had my mum and my partner with me, with my second I had partner and mil. Actually relieved about it too as there was complications when baby was born and I'm glad she was there to support dp as I was out of it.

I'm not sure which way your voting works so I haven't voted. But my mum was present at the birth of my first child, more by accident than by design.

I was in hospital being induced, and had been in for around 30 hours (not in active labour all that time). My mum had popped in at visiting time and come up to the ward - one of the midwives asked her did she want to come in as I was about to start pushing!! I wasn't really in a position to say yes or no as I was away with the fairies on pethidene. However, the delivery room was like Piccadilly Circus anyway (midwives changing over shift, students, obstetrician, paediatrician etc) so one more wasn't going to make any difference. I'm glad for her that she got to be there but she was neither help nor hindrance to me.

She wasn't at the births of my other two as she was minding the older ones by that point!

I would’ve liked my mum to be there, partly because she had the most horrendous medicalised birth with me and still had a lot of birth trauma. I feel like seeing a simple straightforward birth would have been somewhat healing. I’m sure that’s the exact same reason she didn’t want to be there though, because she knew all the things that could go wrong. I completely respected that, but I was a tiny bit sad she wasn't there.

My mum was there for my sis and sis in law but I gave birth to 2/3 with just the midwife. My DH was there for 3rd but only because she was in a tearing hurry and born unexpectedly. My mum never came near and I don't think I'd have wanted her to . But everyone is different .

I would have loved to have had my Mum there. She passed away recently and we were so close that I so wish I'd asked her.