Friend blocked me over money

[ByCraftyPinkMentor]

Morning All,

I have popped on whatsapp to check in on a friend to find out I have been blocked and also blocked on all social media.

Husband and I have worked for many years on our business which is now in a really good place money wise.

I recently received some unexpected inheritance money. We have three older kids and it wasn't a mega life changing amount but also quite a bit.

Our kids have been really good while we were building the business etc and whist they had basic stuff and driving lessons etc we didn't go on holiday for the last 7 years or so. I know people go without for longer. Anyway...I spoke to my husband and decided that I wanted to take us on four holidays with it, to places each individual kid has expressed a desire to go to and also one for just the two of us. Then I wanted to put another bit away for each of them to have as like a rental deposit or a nicer car as they get older or whatever.

We have done two of them and the other two are booked. I shared this with a few close friends and my surprise for the kids.

In the middle of this a close friend told me she was having issues and was short a grand for some house renovations. I gave it to her as a gift.

Since then she has been having more and more issues and not asking me directly but hinting at me lending her more money.

We were chatting last week and I said we were off on the third one, since then she has been sending me messages about how it must be nice not to let your kids down, how she can't rely on anyone for help with money etc.

I have been supportive but she keeps telling me about her bills in every conversation.

All my inheritance money is accounted for in the kids bank accounts and been paid into these holidays (She doesn't know how much I got). So I think she thinks I have loads spare.

Last conversation we had I said I would love to help but I don't have anything spare now, it's all spent. Now she has blocked me.

At least you know what she is really like now

She sounds like a rubbish friend and entitled to think you owe her anything, especially after you were so kind giving her a grand

She's Ungrateful and sadly she is not a true friend.

I would certainly not be chasing her.

Shes not a friend.

She is a user and a cunt.

Do what you have to in order to get your money back and then cut her off. Forever.

That's not how a friend behaves.

Be grateful she blocked you, and move on.

Send her a letter asking for her to repay the loan. You can't enforce it but it might make her sweat.

Honestly, she’s a parasite. Tell her to pull her head in. You lent her a grand and she hasn’t paid it back. She didn’t inherit the money, you and your children did.

blimey! That is harsh. Move on, she's a wrong'un.

Your mistake was telling anyone at all about your windfall, or indeed your financial circumstances. And you shouldn't have given her any money either. Look after your own family and yourself and if people ask about your finances, deflect.

OP gave the money as a gift.

You learn who your true friends are in this circumstances. Perhaps also best not to mention your holiday, sounds like a stealth boast.

Your money is not her money.

She's obviously NOT a friend.
Good riddance to her! Anyone who gave me a thousand pounds I would be in debt to for life!

Jeezo, if she’s a friend what are your enemies like. At least you know what she’s like now - do not chase, don’t get in contact, she’s no friend. I’m sorry you found out this way, it’s hard to lose a good friend. I see you gave her some money as a gift, so assume you are not looking for it back, in which case, let it go and move on with your life. One less money grabber in your life is a bonus.

OP, the older I get and the more experiences I have has made me realise it’s wise to keep a lot of information to myself.

Never tell anyone, anyone, how much money you have - especially when you have received a 'windfall' - what is just passing conversation for you sits completely differently with others - they can be jealous and resentful or angry and bitter or, like your 'friend' greedy and entitled.

I was in the same boat. Although our windfall came after a horrific life changing accident.

Unfortunately, everyone knew there would be a payout so it wasn't like I could hide it although I never told anyone how much we got. Five years of struggling our arses off and we finally had the money and decided to upgrade our house a little bit, which was clearly the giveaway.

OMG! The comments and questions about handouts were ridiculous. One 'friend' is still salty that I've never told the exact figure. You definitely learn very quickly who your real friends (and family unfortunately) are.

Never tell people you have inherited or won money. This is a fine example of why.

Your "friend" isn't one. She now sees you as her bank and is trying to manipulate you into giving her more money. Block her back and don't ever remove it.

That said, why do you tell your friends about your financial affairs, whether getting a windfall or a loss? You're asking for trouble.

She's not a friend.
Your well rid.

On the one hand it seems cheeky but on the other hand maybe she is tired of hearing about your holidays and giving money to your children when she is struggling. I have a friend who inherited money and keeps talking about how she choses to work rather than needing to. She has lost a few friends over it.

Why did you share so much info with her? Your finances are none of her business at all!

Your mistake was telling people. When I landed a high paying job, a childhood friend I considered my best friend cut contact. She's even gone as far as to deactivate her face book account. She is clearly jealous and a bit mad with me. I know it's hurtful but truth is, she isn't really your friend. Just forget all about her and move on. I realise you must be upset that your kind gift of £1,000 hasn't been appreciated in the slightest. Just write it off as a good deed and forget about it.

She sounds resentful and bitter, which is on her. You also don't owe anyone money or info on your finances.

However, when you know someone's struggling for money it's a bit shitty of you to keep talking about your holidays.

She's not a friend but I agree when good things happen, you need some sensitivity that people around you are struggling. Some things are best kept to yourself.

What an utter bitch.
She's not your friend.
She's a dreadful person and she's jealous of you.
Don't share that kind of joy with anyone outside your family.
Don't gift money.

That's the thing she isn't struggling.

She has never struggled with money she's very sensible and is also on holiday once a year. I lent her a grand as she said something had come up that was unbudgeted for. She's also on holiday next month but keeps saying things like...I wouldn't have booked it if I had realised I had this coming up etc.

Such a shame OP but she doesn't sound like a great friend. There's not much you can do other than move on and try to put it/her behind you. You were a lovely friend to her to gift her money but she has actually thrown it back in your face. You absolutely cannot solve other peoples problems for them, especially financial ones. This is on her to find support and to sort her life out - she is not your responsibility.