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Original poster

Friend blocked me over money

174 replies

ByCraftyPinkMentor · 07/08/2025 12:52

Morning All,

I have popped on whatsapp to check in on a friend to find out I have been blocked and also blocked on all social media.

Husband and I have worked for many years on our business which is now in a really good place money wise.

I recently received some unexpected inheritance money. We have three older kids and it wasn't a mega life changing amount but also quite a bit.

Our kids have been really good while we were building the business etc and whist they had basic stuff and driving lessons etc we didn't go on holiday for the last 7 years or so. I know people go without for longer. Anyway...I spoke to my husband and decided that I wanted to take us on four holidays with it, to places each individual kid has expressed a desire to go to and also one for just the two of us. Then I wanted to put another bit away for each of them to have as like a rental deposit or a nicer car as they get older or whatever.

We have done two of them and the other two are booked. I shared this with a few close friends and my surprise for the kids.

In the middle of this a close friend told me she was having issues and was short a grand for some house renovations. I gave it to her as a gift.

Since then she has been having more and more issues and not asking me directly but hinting at me lending her more money.

We were chatting last week and I said we were off on the third one, since then she has been sending me messages about how it must be nice not to let your kids down, how she can't rely on anyone for help with money etc.

I have been supportive but she keeps telling me about her bills in every conversation.

All my inheritance money is accounted for in the kids bank accounts and been paid into these holidays (She doesn't know how much I got). So I think she thinks I have loads spare.

Last conversation we had I said I would love to help but I don't have anything spare now, it's all spent. Now she has blocked me.

OP posts:
LittlleMy · 07/08/2025 14:07

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 07/08/2025 13:42

I've been looking for this quote ever since I heard it and just found something similar:

Give once: you elicit appreciation;
Give twice: you create anticipation;
Give 3 times: you create expectation;
Give 4 times: it becomes entitlement;
Give 5 times: you establish dependency.
Stop giving: you become an ENEMY

It took me up to step 4 before I learned my lesson. Your friend jumped from 'Once' to the 'Enemy' part in one giant leap 😂

It think you should be happy that all the other steps have been missed. I wish my so-called friends were that transparent.

See this is the thing though, you never truly know what ‘kind’ of friend you really have which is why if it were me I just wouldn’t ever mention it regardless of how nice I thought my friends were. Not that OP did anything wrong at all, but as your quote illustrates it’s just more trouble than it’s worth! 😑

Elizabeth1000 · 07/08/2025 14:07

What the fuck

Cheeky fucker of the highest order

You gave her a GRAND!!! Shock
That is an absolutely mega gift
And the mark of a cheeky fucker is just to want more

You probably know that you shouldn't have said you had any inheritance and you shouldn't have given her a penny.

She isn't a friend. As someone has pointed out, she's a total cunt.

Theroadt · 07/08/2025 14:08

You are right to feel used. But you shouldn’t have given her £1k nor told her about the inheritance. Never ever discuss money - it’s by far the easier way.

Closedwinefridge · 07/08/2025 14:08

It was extremely generous of you to gift such a large amount to your friend.
Also big well done on running a business and making success of it - it is hard and not for faint hearted.
To be honest, I am surprised a friend even accepted money as a gift (unless she gifted you some in earlier years). This is because she knows you have kids who will need money no doubt, so her taking money from you is really strange, and it's for home improvement from all things.

Member984815 · 07/08/2025 14:09

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 13:33

Unfortunately people show their true colours when money is mentioned.

My baby DD received a compensation payout after a cock up in a surgery left her extremely ill, and also with life long impact. It was known by a few people because they were around at that time it happened and then through the case afterward and the emotional of the person involved's GMC hearings.

Of the five people who are aware of detail because of their closeness two asked to borrow money. One instantly apologised and has been mortified at themselves ever since. One has never spoken to me since I said it wasn't my money to lend, it was DDs and all earmarked for her care.

People can get very spiteful when money is involved.

This is awful , surely people know that the money has to support your daughter throughout the rest of her life and isn't for having a jolly time

PInkyStarfish · 07/08/2025 14:09

Never tell anyone about your finances, good or bad.

She is a user and a nasty piece of work and you should be grateful that the trash has taken herself out.

MyMilchick · 07/08/2025 14:10

No good deed goes unpunished eh? That was £1000 well spent though, at least you know what she's like now!

ViciousCurrentBun · 07/08/2025 14:11

What @Zov wrote is how I feel. We had a risky investment do well in our thirties. Obviously housing was much cheaper when we bought years ago. We paid off our mortgage in our mid/late thirties. We never told a soul. When my sister paid hers off a few years ago she was delighted. She asked the direct question on when ours was due to end, I won’t lie so said we have paid ours off and then changed the subject, didn't mention it was over 20 years ago. Even DS has zero idea how much money we have and it will remain that way.

CynthiaGrace · 07/08/2025 14:11

Friends can be really funny about money. We’ve stopped talking about our holidays with our two closest friends (a couple) as they always seem miffed that we’re going away. There’s two reasons they can’t go away though. One, he’s on a minimum wage job and two, they had a baby recently. We can’t have kids together (we’ve both got kids from previous relationships) To us, they’re the lucky ones. I’d give up our holidays to have a baby 🤷‍♀️

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 07/08/2025 14:13

Sounds to me like shes done you a favour by cutting contact, what a cheeky bitch! If my friend gifted me £1,000 I’d be falling over myself with appreciation, not hinting at wanting more.

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 07/08/2025 14:19

This is why im not bothered about having friends. I had only 1k gave me to from insurance recently as they had underpaid me. A friend said I should take her on a spa trip!! And asked me for 50 quid!! Gave her 50 quid. And booked 3 nights in Paris just me and my kids.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 07/08/2025 14:24

Bloody hell OP, you need to reexamine your definition of friendship!

On what planet is this greedy CF a friend? She’s shown you her true colours….believe her

SkylarFalls · 07/08/2025 14:30

That's really sad

I can only assume that ppl who post so quickly that you're better off without her and good riddance have an abundance of spare friends to replace anyone expendable.

But for me, losing any one of my friends would be a huge loss and I would want to reach out one last time to find out if maybe, the friend was in a worse situation than I thought and they were just finding it hard to manage their feelings around people who were doing well financially.

I know that might be over generous, but I haven't found in life that lost friends get replaced by shiny new ones

Hankunamatata · 07/08/2025 14:35

You gave her 1k wow
Shame u can't claim it was a loan and trake her to small claims

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/08/2025 14:37

SkylarFalls · 07/08/2025 14:30

That's really sad

I can only assume that ppl who post so quickly that you're better off without her and good riddance have an abundance of spare friends to replace anyone expendable.

But for me, losing any one of my friends would be a huge loss and I would want to reach out one last time to find out if maybe, the friend was in a worse situation than I thought and they were just finding it hard to manage their feelings around people who were doing well financially.

I know that might be over generous, but I haven't found in life that lost friends get replaced by shiny new ones

Someone who treats you like shit was never your friend, so youve lost fuck all.
There's nothing noble about being a doormat.

nomoreshite · 07/08/2025 14:38

She's a leech.
You gave her a grand (I wouldn't have done that) and yet she still had the cheek to basically beg for more.

Good riddance

godmum56 · 07/08/2025 14:38

well that lesson cost you a thousand quid!

godmum56 · 07/08/2025 14:39

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/08/2025 14:37

Someone who treats you like shit was never your friend, so youve lost fuck all.
There's nothing noble about being a doormat.

Show quote history

except £1000

godmum56 · 07/08/2025 14:39

SkylarFalls · 07/08/2025 14:30

That's really sad

I can only assume that ppl who post so quickly that you're better off without her and good riddance have an abundance of spare friends to replace anyone expendable.

But for me, losing any one of my friends would be a huge loss and I would want to reach out one last time to find out if maybe, the friend was in a worse situation than I thought and they were just finding it hard to manage their feelings around people who were doing well financially.

I know that might be over generous, but I haven't found in life that lost friends get replaced by shiny new ones

not a friend if they want to leech off you

GodSavetheJean · 07/08/2025 14:43

You were very kind and generous to give her money. She is clearly resentful because SHE sees herself in a bad position and she is letting her jealousy get the best of her, despite the reality if her situation (a holiday coming up and a friend who GAVE her money to cover an unexpected expense? Pretty damn lucky if you ask me.)
Back when my sisters both had little kids, my one sister, who had more money, peace, etc. was insanely jealous of my other sister because she had in-laws willing to take the children at ANY time for any reason. Sister 1 did not have to work, had a lovely house (and spouse) and a comfortable financial situation. Sister 2 had to work, which required juggling 4 kids under age 8, a husband who worked rotating shifts, and a very VERY tight budget. Sister 1 overlooked all of that to remain ridiculously envious of how Sister 2 could drop the kids of at her ILs when she needed to run errands, have a sick day, etc. Sister 1 was completely unreasonable, but in HER mind she was so deprived because her in-laws lived abroad. It took years for her to gain perspective, and thankfully Sister 2 was too busy and stressed to notice how entitled Sister 1 was behaving. My point being, people are only thinking of themselves and that can lead to shit behavior. I'd take a break form that friend. She may come around, she may not, btu she has shown you who she is right now.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 07/08/2025 14:46

godmum56 · 07/08/2025 14:39

except £1000

Show quote history

True.

Murdoch1949 · 07/08/2025 14:46

She regarded you as her cash cow and now you've stopped supplying the milk she's got no use for you. Horrible woman.

LBFseBrom · 07/08/2025 14:51

Your friend is not being fair. Just because you came in to some funds doesn't make you money-bags.

I'm sorry she has blocked you and obviously sorry for her but you have been generous and are not a bottomless pit.

Just accept things as they are, you cannot do anything. She may come back to you in the future as if nothing has happened, I hope she does but if not, this is no fault of yours. You've been a good friend.

A lesson for everyone here, do not share details of financial good news, it often backfires in this way.

honeylulu · 07/08/2025 14:52

I'm baffled by people who think like this. "My well off friend gave me a grand - WHAT A BITCH!" ???

There are always people in the world who have more money/resources/luck than you and you have to get on with your own life or waste all your time stewing in bitterness about it. I do think for some people it's a extra sting to see someone close to them having more. There's a quote from Silence of the Lambs where Lecter says something like "when people first start to covet, they covet what they see every day". It was in the context of the murderer knowing his first victim but never mind, it works for all sorts of covetousness!

I'm still friends with my two besties from school. They both chose to become SAHM, fair enough and married men who have a low income. I'm quite senior in a professional role (so is husband) so have a decent income. I try to do my best to be discreet when we meet up but one of them will get in a mood or sulk if I tell an anecdote and she realises I've been on "yet another" holiday or if she notices I've got a new bag. Yet she's happy to hang back and let me pick up the bill when the three of us go out. Other friend smiles and says cheers mate, she just glowers. It's as if she wants me to pay but resents me paying all at the same time. I see them a lot less now because all the walking on eggshells was doing my head in.

LittleBitofBread · 07/08/2025 14:54

She is a parasite. You're better off without her.

While I do understand the comments about how it's best not to tell anybody about windfalls, I also find it slightly baffling. I've got several friends who have told me about windfalls/inheritances etc, and how they've used them to pay off their mortgage, or buy their first property, or second home. It would never occur to me to feel resentful or resentful or salty about it. Isn't one of the definitions of being a friend that you're happy for them when good things happen to them?