Friend blocked me over money

[ByCraftyPinkMentor]

Morning All,

I have popped on whatsapp to check in on a friend to find out I have been blocked and also blocked on all social media.

Husband and I have worked for many years on our business which is now in a really good place money wise.

I recently received some unexpected inheritance money. We have three older kids and it wasn't a mega life changing amount but also quite a bit.

Our kids have been really good while we were building the business etc and whist they had basic stuff and driving lessons etc we didn't go on holiday for the last 7 years or so. I know people go without for longer. Anyway...I spoke to my husband and decided that I wanted to take us on four holidays with it, to places each individual kid has expressed a desire to go to and also one for just the two of us. Then I wanted to put another bit away for each of them to have as like a rental deposit or a nicer car as they get older or whatever.

We have done two of them and the other two are booked. I shared this with a few close friends and my surprise for the kids.

In the middle of this a close friend told me she was having issues and was short a grand for some house renovations. I gave it to her as a gift.

Since then she has been having more and more issues and not asking me directly but hinting at me lending her more money.

We were chatting last week and I said we were off on the third one, since then she has been sending me messages about how it must be nice not to let your kids down, how she can't rely on anyone for help with money etc.

I have been supportive but she keeps telling me about her bills in every conversation.

All my inheritance money is accounted for in the kids bank accounts and been paid into these holidays (She doesn't know how much I got). So I think she thinks I have loads spare.

Last conversation we had I said I would love to help but I don't have anything spare now, it's all spent. Now she has blocked me.

The ‘can’t count on anyone’ comment means she is down a hole, possibly angry at the world at her situation. You helped her more than most would. I’d say you got a lucky escape. It’s sad from both your perspectives but you are lucky she’s got the hump with you!

Sorry OP, did you gift her the grand or was it a loan?

I had it so I gifted it to her to help her out x

In the middle of this a close friend told me she was having issues and was short a grand for some house renovations. I gave it to her as a gift.

In your second post you said that you loaned her the money. Which is it? Although you probably won't see it again even if it was a loan.

Now she's blocked you for not giving her more, you know what she's like at heart, ie a user. Block her back and move on with your life without her in it, the grabby mare.

I wouldn't give a second thought to losing the friendship, OP. She's shown you who she is. But be prepared for her to come crawling back at some point saying she was stressed about money and that's why she needed some space blah blah blah while asking you to lend her some more. Frankly I'd block her now so she can't contact you again.

Adding to the chorus here. Why on earth did you even tell her?

Me and DH came into some money last year (middle 5 figures) and told NO-ONE. Not even our DC. Our DC (adults around 30 y.o.) are on high salaries (both earn more than £90K per year) and one gets big bonuses, and the other one has a YouTube channel that they make £40-£60K a year from. They don't need financial help. If they did we would offer it/give it of course, but they earn loads. Both of their partners earn even more than them.

There are very few family members that I would give money to, as they are largely freeloading scroungers. (Just DB, SIL, nieces, nephews, and one cousin.) And I would never tell any friends about it. Again, I would help in an emergency, but still would not give them a lot. It's my money and DH's money, and we want to keep it for ourselves, not bloody give it away so then WE end up in financial need/broke/in debt. Spent quite a few years like this, and have no intention of going back down that road.

As pps have said @ByCraftyPinkMentor perhaps she is just sick of you bragging, and flashing your cash,

I thought you said that but then you said it was a loan later, just a bit confused.

What’s the betting you never see your grand again!

Well, as the saying goes, the trash took itself out.

Some people get very bitter about what they perceive as the good luck of others.

Baffles me, because someone had to die for you to receive that money, which is certainly not lucky!

Ah sorry- lent/gift. It was a gift not a loan

Yeah sorry- I gifted it to her. Three teenage kids my lending money is giving and never seeing it again 😂

Sorry but you think your friend deactivated her Facebook account because you got a new job????

You spent £1000 to learn a lesson about that friendship. What a bitch!

I think I'd have to go out of my way to find a way to contact her and ask why she blocked me... let her squirm to find an excuse, then I'd tell her she's a 'using scrounger'.

There's a very old saying - if you lend someone 20 quid and never see them again, it was worth it.

I agree..£1000 to learn what your so-called friend is really like was a bargain!

Think yourself lucky (enjoy it whilst it lasts), wait until they are driving and then buying houses. £50 here and there soon becomes small change

Well she blocked you, saved you the trouble.

Ignore her and move on.

Unfortunately people show their true colours when money is mentioned.

My baby DD received a compensation payout after a cock up in a surgery left her extremely ill, and also with life long impact. It was known by a few people because they were around at that time it happened and then through the case afterward and the emotional of the person involved's GMC hearings.

Of the five people who are aware of detail because of their closeness two asked to borrow money. One instantly apologised and has been mortified at themselves ever since. One has never spoken to me since I said it wasn't my money to lend, it was DDs and all earmarked for her care.

People can get very spiteful when money is involved.

Was it a gift or did you lend it? Your posts are conflicting. I'd ask for the money back in a letter and give the date you want it back by.

I recently heard that a friend's parents are retiring, and selling their business, and that friend will be given an 'early inheritance' from that sale of about 1million.

I immediately congratulated her, I'm so pleased for her, and I asked her what she'd got planned to do with it etc.

I did not immediately ask for a loan (nor will I ever ask for a loan) because I'm not a jerk, and she's my friend.

Your friend was actually a jerk.

She wanted to to be her cash cow.
You were already so generous to gift her £1k.

TBH I think it is a bit tin eared to tell a friend who is struggling about 4 holidays in a row. She shouldn't demand money though.

God almighty, if someone lent me a grand I'd be kissing their feet, not snarking at them for more money!

That’s really sad. I’m sorry you have been treated so shabbily and I’m sorry that you had a bereavement.
It’s worse when you think someone is a friend, really nasty behaviour.

Money does funny things to people especially if they perceive you to have a lot or because they feel it is ‘unfair’.

I think your idea of how to spend the money is brilliant by the way - what a lovely way to spend time together as a family.

She isn't struggling. She has her own holiday booked this month.

Well mixing friends and money is always a bad situation cause changes the entire dynamic of the friendship, think of the amount you gave her as a pay off to not keep in contact again, chances are if the friendship continiues they will keep asking more frequently.