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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend blocked me over money

174 replies

ByCraftyPinkMentor · 07/08/2025 12:52

Morning All,

I have popped on whatsapp to check in on a friend to find out I have been blocked and also blocked on all social media.

Husband and I have worked for many years on our business which is now in a really good place money wise.

I recently received some unexpected inheritance money. We have three older kids and it wasn't a mega life changing amount but also quite a bit.

Our kids have been really good while we were building the business etc and whist they had basic stuff and driving lessons etc we didn't go on holiday for the last 7 years or so. I know people go without for longer. Anyway...I spoke to my husband and decided that I wanted to take us on four holidays with it, to places each individual kid has expressed a desire to go to and also one for just the two of us. Then I wanted to put another bit away for each of them to have as like a rental deposit or a nicer car as they get older or whatever.

We have done two of them and the other two are booked. I shared this with a few close friends and my surprise for the kids.

In the middle of this a close friend told me she was having issues and was short a grand for some house renovations. I gave it to her as a gift.

Since then she has been having more and more issues and not asking me directly but hinting at me lending her more money.

We were chatting last week and I said we were off on the third one, since then she has been sending me messages about how it must be nice not to let your kids down, how she can't rely on anyone for help with money etc.

I have been supportive but she keeps telling me about her bills in every conversation.

All my inheritance money is accounted for in the kids bank accounts and been paid into these holidays (She doesn't know how much I got). So I think she thinks I have loads spare.

Last conversation we had I said I would love to help but I don't have anything spare now, it's all spent. Now she has blocked me.

OP posts:

ThreenagerCentral · 07/08/2025 17:09

I can see this from the other side. If she’s been genuinely struggling financially and hearing about your holidays and windfall she might just not be able to hear about it any more. It’s pretty rude of her to block you given you gave her money, but I know how finances can hit hard.

MayaPinion · 07/08/2025 17:24

One of my very close friends sold her business for an 8 figure sum - an insane amount of money - and not one of our friendship group (as far as I know) has asked her for a single penny. She is generous and will often pick up the tab when we go to dinner, or upgrade us to business class when we book a weekend away, but both us and her are (I think) very conscious of creating a power imbalance that would remove the ‘equality’ across our little group of school friends. The friendship group is far more important and valuable than any amount of money, and I would get a loan from the bank before I asked her for a penny, in case it upset our balance.

OP, I’m wondering if your friend has debt and was hoping you’d be her meal ticket out of it. She was incredibly pushy and presumptuous and you’re better off out of it. No good deed goes unpunished, eh?

whitewineandsun · 07/08/2025 17:26

Being blocked sounds like a blessing in disguise here. Move on. She wasn't a friend.

ThejoyofNC · 07/08/2025 17:33

I'd rather be blocked than listen to constant hints for money. There's very few things worse.

cramptramp · 07/08/2025 17:47

She’s a chancer. You’re better off without someone like her in your life.

Mrsbloggz · 07/08/2025 17:49

@ByCraftyPinkMentor you GAVE AWAY A GRAND and you are surprised that a leach has attached herself to you?!

MaryGreenhill · 07/08/2025 17:56

Be glad you have found out what she is really like @ByCraftyPinkMentor

pinkyredrose · 07/08/2025 17:57

Bollocks to her. You gave her a grand and it wasn't enough. At least now you know she wasn't a true friend.

SomeOfTheTrouble · 07/08/2025 17:58

hydriotaphia · 07/08/2025 13:36

TBH I think it is a bit tin eared to tell a friend who is struggling about 4 holidays in a row. She shouldn't demand money though.

If she didn’t tell her, her friend would know anyway when she went on the holidays 🤷🏻‍♀️. My friends would think it was really odd if I disappeared on holiday without telling them I was going!

CountryMouse22 · 07/08/2025 18:03

Greedy cow!

pinkyredrose · 07/08/2025 18:20

honeylulu · 07/08/2025 14:52

I'm baffled by people who think like this. "My well off friend gave me a grand - WHAT A BITCH!" ???

There are always people in the world who have more money/resources/luck than you and you have to get on with your own life or waste all your time stewing in bitterness about it. I do think for some people it's a extra sting to see someone close to them having more. There's a quote from Silence of the Lambs where Lecter says something like "when people first start to covet, they covet what they see every day". It was in the context of the murderer knowing his first victim but never mind, it works for all sorts of covetousness!

I'm still friends with my two besties from school. They both chose to become SAHM, fair enough and married men who have a low income. I'm quite senior in a professional role (so is husband) so have a decent income. I try to do my best to be discreet when we meet up but one of them will get in a mood or sulk if I tell an anecdote and she realises I've been on "yet another" holiday or if she notices I've got a new bag. Yet she's happy to hang back and let me pick up the bill when the three of us go out. Other friend smiles and says cheers mate, she just glowers. It's as if she wants me to pay but resents me paying all at the same time. I see them a lot less now because all the walking on eggshells was doing my head in.

Why do you pay the bill and not split it with your mates? The glowering one doesn't sound very nice, like fuck would i pay for her.

nomas · 07/08/2025 19:29

ByCraftyPinkMentor · 07/08/2025 13:19

That's the thing she isn't struggling.

She has never struggled with money she's very sensible and is also on holiday once a year. I lent her a grand as she said something had come up that was unbudgeted for. She's also on holiday next month but keeps saying things like...I wouldn't have booked it if I had realised I had this coming up etc.

Show quote history

Do you have proof you lent it to her? I’d ask for it back.

Lemonadeat8 · 07/08/2025 19:35

Be glad the scrounger has pissed off.

SkylarFalls · 07/08/2025 19:49

Guavafish1 · 07/08/2025 15:41

She is no friend.

my friend has become wealthy… live on a Spanish island, kids in private school and has a maid.

I would never of dreaming of asking for money you her… if I was despite I would ask for a loan and I’d pay it back.

My only question for you… are you boasting about your holidays? I think that would be a bit insensitive if she has experienced money related issues.

Also don’t gift these kinds of people money… she is not a friend btw!

Lots of these posts saying they'd never ask a friend for money

I never have, but if it came to keeping a roof over my kids head my pride would be swallowed

But surely we would all have our limit, how bad would you let things get for you and your kids before you went cap in hand?

I don't know HOW badly off the friend was

This is more just a comment at the people saying "I would NEVER!"

MadinMarch · 07/08/2025 20:14

Whiningatwine · 07/08/2025 12:56

Send her a letter asking for her to repay the loan. You can't enforce it but it might make her sweat.

Yes, you can enforce it. Ask for it back by a certain date, and if not returned in full, do a Mcol (money claim on line) and get it back- It's the principle of it!

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 07/08/2025 20:18

She’s blocked you because she’s jealous of you, simple as that. She could tolerate it if she was getting a share of it, but since you’ve made it clear there’s no more she’s cut you off even though you did nothing wrong. It says everything about her - be glad you’re rid of her. In future, keep your finances more private.

MJ1980 · 07/08/2025 20:22

When you come into any money, the vultures tend to show themselves. Lesson learnt.

Laura95167 · 07/08/2025 20:23

Shes a pig the trash took itself out

2021x · 07/08/2025 20:48

I wonder if she is struggling and is hinting to you that you talking about holidays is making her stressed etc.. so she taking a break from it.

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 08/08/2025 00:42

She's a parasite. Move on with your life and forget about her, clearly she was only your friend while you could benefit her. She had no right to any of that money, the cheek to expect you to give her any of it is quite frankly, shocking.

YourAquaLion · 08/08/2025 01:50

Yeh she is defo not ur friend OP, she is a total chancer and a cheeky CF!!! Block her back, you don’t need this in your life. Give some money to ur fave charity if u feel guilty for being privileged. She does not sound like she deserves a penny of yours! enjoy ur hols!

Summerbubbles · 08/08/2025 02:26

What a horrible "friend" you were very generous to gift her any money at all and hopefully she will see sense and offer a massive apology for her nasty behaviour.

I am far worse off financially than many of my friends and I would not dream of trying to hint for money from them. I love seeing pictures and hearing about their fabulous holidays etc as they are my friends, I love them, their happiness makes me happy.

Isitreallysohard · 08/08/2025 02:39

You don't need "friends" like this. Good riddance

autienotnaughty · 08/08/2025 05:06

She wanted money from you to make her life easier and values that over your friendship. I’d be grateful I’ve seen her true colours.

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