Friend blocked me over money

[ByCraftyPinkMentor]

Morning All,

I have popped on whatsapp to check in on a friend to find out I have been blocked and also blocked on all social media.

Husband and I have worked for many years on our business which is now in a really good place money wise.

I recently received some unexpected inheritance money. We have three older kids and it wasn't a mega life changing amount but also quite a bit.

Our kids have been really good while we were building the business etc and whist they had basic stuff and driving lessons etc we didn't go on holiday for the last 7 years or so. I know people go without for longer. Anyway...I spoke to my husband and decided that I wanted to take us on four holidays with it, to places each individual kid has expressed a desire to go to and also one for just the two of us. Then I wanted to put another bit away for each of them to have as like a rental deposit or a nicer car as they get older or whatever.

We have done two of them and the other two are booked. I shared this with a few close friends and my surprise for the kids.

In the middle of this a close friend told me she was having issues and was short a grand for some house renovations. I gave it to her as a gift.

Since then she has been having more and more issues and not asking me directly but hinting at me lending her more money.

We were chatting last week and I said we were off on the third one, since then she has been sending me messages about how it must be nice not to let your kids down, how she can't rely on anyone for help with money etc.

I have been supportive but she keeps telling me about her bills in every conversation.

All my inheritance money is accounted for in the kids bank accounts and been paid into these holidays (She doesn't know how much I got). So I think she thinks I have loads spare.

Last conversation we had I said I would love to help but I don't have anything spare now, it's all spent. Now she has blocked me.

She ghosted me on all social media, the face book was one of them. She returned an item to me by putting it behind my wheelie bin when I was clearly in. She has cut off all contact with me. It's an extremely well paid job, not just a job. Not sure why you're being strange with me? Unfortunately some people do get jealous when friends suddenly become richer.

I've been looking for this quote ever since I heard it and just found something similar:

Give once: you elicit appreciation;
Give twice: you create anticipation;
Give 3 times: you create expectation;
Give 4 times: it becomes entitlement;
Give 5 times: you establish dependency.
Stop giving: you become an ENEMY

It took me up to step 4 before I learned my lesson. Your friend jumped from 'Once' to the 'Enemy' part in one giant leap 😂

It think you should be happy that all the other steps have been missed. I wish my so-called friends were that transparent.

She's a CF. Good riddance

Take this a lesson. Never, ever discuss money with friends.

She was never a friend.

I like that quote! Quite difficult reversing when you’re at No. 4!

I think she is jealous of your position therefore has blocked you.
You were a good friend and right to gift as opposed to lend her the first £1000.
i would take on board what others have said about keeping your finances quiet.
She sounds pretty awful. One for hinting continually about you giving her cash and two for blocking you.
I don’t think you are missing out on much here.

Enjoy your well deserved holidays.

I agree with this....I'm as poor as a church mouse....but have long time friends who have had inheritance money....they travel around the world..have beautiful homes ...cars etc....but I would NEVER ask for money....my friends come from all walks of life...poor rich young old....so are loud some a quiet....just lovely caring Friends

I'm not being strange with you, I'm just really baffled that a friend would delete her whole Facebook account because you got a new job. Now that I know it's an 'extremely well paid job' that makes it better lol

What an entitled twat she is. Imagine taking a grand off someone and then keep pushing for more and more.

She sounds like a psychopath. Devoid of any empathy and only out for her own gain.

Vile cow. Good she's blocked you. I bet you're relieved you didn't give her anything else.

If I were you I'd tell mutual friends what happened. I bet she's had money off every single one of them.

Never tell anyone when you come into money!!

Tell it like it is😂😂

That’s really disappointing, OP. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. I wonder if she was feeling entitled to more of YOUR money? It’s crazy for her to do this when you didn’t have to give her the £1K.

If I'm totally honest @thebraveryofbeingoutofrange I think we're at no 5. I haven't managed to extricate my life from hers properly and I'm ashamed to admit that.

Although I did twig what was happening only around step 4 when I saw the entitlement for myself. Urgh

I'm not being strange with you, I'm just really baffled that a friend would delete her whole Facebook account because you got a new job. Now that I know it's an 'extremely well paid job' that makes it better lol

Better for you OP. You won't have to listen to her hints any longer.

Never discuss money with anyone. It causes loads of problems, and you’ll get people asking for handouts. Of course, if your family are in trouble, help them out.

DH and I worked overseas for a longtime in a low tax country and we lived frugally. When we returned to the UK we had enough money to buy a nice house outright. No one knows this except my dad as he wouldn’t tell a soul. My DH also has a very high paying job and a gazillion air miles and when we go on holiday we fly business class and stay in very nice hotels. I NEVER tell anyone my business. I just say “I’m going to Spain”. I never show pictures of hotels or resorts.

A few years ago a relative asked us to lend them £250,000. I shit you not. I don’t know where they get the idea that we have that much cash lying around as we really don’t. Actually, they asked for it when we were in rented accommodation and waiting to buy, which would’ve meant we had to downsize and get a mortgage, just to help them. They got pissed off when we said no. We never discuss money, nor look like we’ve got some. They just assume. Because we’d never said how much we had saved, or what we earned we were able to say “sorry, don’t know where you got the idea from that we are loaded as we aren’t”.

Never discuss money. Downplay what you’ve got. If I won £250,000 I wouldn’t tell a soul. I’d bung my dad some, and I’d sort my kids out, but I’d tell no one.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’ve both been taken advantage of for our generosity. We will never make this mistake again though will we!

My Nan used to say: "Never a borrower nor a lender be".

This woman was not your friend. At least you're rid of her now.

Also, what a lovely thing to do for your family with the four holidays ☺️

You gave her a grand and she's still not happy? Lucky escape there OP. Have a great time on your amazing hols!

That's why I can't understand people who win millions on the lottery and go all over the media. I'd be saying nothing!!!

Your thread title is misleading OP.

I thought this was going to be a thread where the money had been lent or borrowed already, which would be much worse than your actual situation. 🙄

This is how I saw it and some responses are lacking compassion. Blocking OP may have just been a way for her friend to protect herself while she's going through a difficult time. OP isn't in the wrong but jealousy is actually a normal feeling that many people experience, especially in dark times.

What I would say is that generally people pocket watch like crazy (you even see it on this forum!) so I wouldn't go around telling anybody about inheritances, savings, or any specificities of your financial business.

Ugh. Your 'friend' sounds grabby, entitled, self-centred, jealous.....need I go on?

She has already had £1k off you, and has now blocked you because you won't give her any more. Unbelievable.

You are well rid of her tbh. She is one of those people who thinks she is entitled to everyone else's money, as well as her own.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your planned holidays.

She saw you as an ATM, was gifted some cash and thought she could milk you for more………you did right to refuse any more money.