To book holiday without friend

[TarzanGirl]

Have a bit of a dilemma here and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not…

Group of 4 friends. 3 of us are what you would call ‘high earners’ whilst our 4th friend works a more ‘hobby’ job for want of a better term and only earns about £45/50k a year.

Last year, we’d all agreed on a city break destination but the proposed hotel was vetoed by our friend due to being too costly, so we went to an alternative (which wasn’t great) at her request.

We are looking at going away again later this year. Early discussions between two of us (not the 4th friend). We really want to stay somewhere more luxurious but know our friend won’t be able to afford it.

Out of the options below, what do you think is most appropriate? We give our friend the option of joining, knowing full well she can’t stay there and when she suggests an alternative, say no. Or book without her knowledge and hope she doesn’t find out about it? We don’t really post on social media so that’s not an issue.

I think you're ok because doctors have potential to earn more whereas this friend doesn't. Maybe OP can clarify...

You don’t necessarily have a “successful career”, just one that pays really well. Success isn’t all about money. This implies people (including your “friend” and many on here) who earn less than £50k aren’t successful! What an insufferable snob you are.

Your job is a hobby !!! You’re a fantasist if you think you’re helping people , now go and get a REAL job and stop playing doctors and nurses 😂

@TarzanGirl no concierge!! First world problems eh ! We aren’t go to really nice top end hotels and your attitude isn’t that of a friend or very nice. If you are that well off - just pay the difference or at least be upfront with her so she knows where she stands , it seems posing comes first over friendship

I think your friend will be gutted but it’s probably a good thing for her to discover that you value the material things in life over the friendship so that she can diversify her friendship group.

How much time realistically do you spend in a hotel when abroad?? As long as it has good reviews, clean and reasonable facilities does it matter if it’s luxurious when you’re travelling abroad to explore where you are and absorb the culture?

Think your “friend” needs to assess her friendships, if this is how you refer to her: you sound stuck up and like you think you are above her.

Gonna post a Biffy Clyro lyric here
”with friends as good as you, who needs enemies” 😂

You sound awful.
‘penalised for being successful’ ‘only £45-50k’
‘no concierge’ 😡
You may have money but you are a snob and have no class.

Come on, it didn’t have a concierge though! The poor OP had to carry her designer suitcases all by herself, poor lamb.

I suspect this is just rage bait, and look, it’s worked!

I’ve reported it, apparently all looks above board.

only earns about £45/50k a year.

I wouldn't want to spend any time with people (supposedly friends) who looked down on me for not earning as much as them.

There are certain things I like or need in a hotel.

Clean room, clean bedding
En suite
Not noisy

A concierge is not something I need or want and I have stayed in hotels all over the world from 2 star to 5 star
I am quite capable of making my own arrangements and don't need a Concierge to do anything for me!

Hobby job at £50K has had me 🤣🤣🤣

You are so snobbity

Oh no, no concierge! How did you cope? Get a grip OP. Don't be mean, if you other three are such high earners, then surely you can all chip in a bit so that your friend can come.

Wow I want a "hobby job" that pays that much! I'd be over the moon to earn that kind of money. Where do people work/Do to earn than kind of money.
I would definitely give her the option as she is bound to find out anyway

Life is too short to go on holiday to hotels you don't like.

Give her the option to come or not but tell her that the hotel has been decided.

Surprised you can lower yourself to ask the opinion of us who have “hobby” jobs.
Your friend would be better off without you bitchy lot.

How much do you imagine the concierge, who you deem so important, gets paid?

I know the OP sounds insufferable and really rather ghastly

I travel a lot with my friends. We agree up front on our budget and would never dream of leaving someone out just to have a "better" room.

Ignoring the obvious comment about the hobby job and only earning 50k, which has been totally popped in there to get the thread going because surprise surprise this is TarzanGirl's first post on MN and probably none of this is true and it has all the hallmarks of one of those fake dilemmas that it's someone's job to make up and post

Just say 'Jane and I have decided to go HERE. Not anywhere else, but exactly here. Alison wants to come too. Do you fancy it?'

Don't even make it something to negotiate over. If she wants to come she's welcome. If it's not to her liking for ANY reason, including budget, she can skip.

Definitely don't do it behind her back it won't end well. Be honest with her, and say you want somewhere more luxurious this time, it may give her the chance to save up if it's later in the year.

Can I also suggest @TarzanGirl reads the long running MLM thread on here . There is nothing as naff as going on constantly about how well off you are and taking the appropriate pics - all these people end up with is incredibly shallow ‘friendships’ that disappear in a puff of smoke if your ‘success’ goes out the window

You're a high earner but cannot think of a better term than "hobby job" for something paying £45-50k?

misses the point