To book holiday without friend

[TarzanGirl]

Have a bit of a dilemma here and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not…

Group of 4 friends. 3 of us are what you would call ‘high earners’ whilst our 4th friend works a more ‘hobby’ job for want of a better term and only earns about £45/50k a year.

Last year, we’d all agreed on a city break destination but the proposed hotel was vetoed by our friend due to being too costly, so we went to an alternative (which wasn’t great) at her request.

We are looking at going away again later this year. Early discussions between two of us (not the 4th friend). We really want to stay somewhere more luxurious but know our friend won’t be able to afford it.

Out of the options below, what do you think is most appropriate? We give our friend the option of joining, knowing full well she can’t stay there and when she suggests an alternative, say no. Or book without her knowledge and hope she doesn’t find out about it? We don’t really post on social media so that’s not an issue.

Just as you don’t need to take into account your reality if you post about having a dilemma, she doesn’t need to take into account yours.

This type of holiday isn’t expensive for OP, or something she would struggle affording. In fact, it may be very reasonably priced for the level of service she would be getting. She doesn’t have to call it expensive because you do.

Haha, yes teacher here too, looking forward to getting back to my “hobby job” after the holidays. 🤣

Oh please. As if it isn’t entitled to think your friends shouldn’t be able to go and enjoy a holiday because you can’t afford it.

Op and her friends been very inclusive of her by going on holidays they wouldn’t have chosen for themselves. They want one holiday according to their preferences, which is hardly outrageous.

Let me guess, it’s an overnighter 😂

It doesn't really matter which option you go with.

"Or book without her knowledge and hope she doesn’t find out about it?"
Hope she doesn't find out? Who needs enemies with friends like you, huh?

Clearly, friend 4 is far too poor to be part of your group so why don't you do her a favour and cut her loose so she can find nicer friends?

I don't really care what she does or doesn't need to take into account. I'm not the only person who thinks 3 grand for a 4 night holiday is completely ridiculous - maybe go and quote everything they say

Nowhere in the original post does it say that they've constantly been accommodating this friend. They said it was one holiday last year

So then they accommodated her last year when she vetoed their preferences. Why shouldn’t they have the type of holiday they want this year?

You're getting on my every last nerve. I won't be responding to you again.

Relax, it’s only mumsnet.

But fair enough 😊

No concierge service! Stuck up is the only words coming to mind! Ffs
Youre not a good 'friend' am surprised you even consider yourself that, Jesus!🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

Some people enjoy luxurious holidays, what's the problem with that? Her friend doesn't have to join every holiday, some she will be able to afford and some she won't. I really don't see the issue here and why either side should have to be in a position where they resent the other.

Maybe because the OP belittled her friends 50k a year salary. Stuck up snob. Particularly as so many people in the UK are are struggling to feed themselves or heat their homes. Honestly - I've been on holidays where I have had fantastic weather and a great holiday both abroad and in the UK really cheaply. People don't need to spend 3k in 4 days to have a good time. That's a side issue. It's the fact they couldn't be bothered to tell their friend they were going on holiday without her because she's too "poor"

I WISH I earned £50k a year. That would be amazing.

Hobby job at only 45/50k. You sound out of touch and quite awful.

The issue is the OP is a huge snob and assuming that her poor mate who only pisses about doing hobby jobs and scrapes by on £50k a year won’t be able to afford to come and so rather than just ask her and let her make a decision, she is considering organising a trip with the rich friends and not telling her.

No concierge service! Oh the humanity

This

Maybe they should have looked at the reviews before they went. You would think someone on 6 figures a year could eat elsewhere to avoid the beige food. Snob.

The number of people on here calling someone a snob, simply for liking a certain level of luxury and food with some colour in it on a holiday is quite telling. It really speaks to the shitty quality of life people in the UK have become accustomed to. If I went on a holiday with only beige food options I wouldn't be impressed either and I would certainly not be looking for a repeat of the same.

Yeah, I’m not sure why liking a concierge service and non beige food makes someone a snob (if it does though, then oh fucking well! Concierge services are great).

She also wasn’t ‘looking down’ on her friend by acknowledging that she doesn’t make the same, and thus cannot afford the same, as the rest of group.

At 45k, she should be able to afford a 5 star hotel, unless she has massive outgoings.

I was out when you described her work as a ‘hobby job’ that only earns 45 - 50K.
You have made yourself sound like a dick.

If you really wanted her to join, you'd find a compromise.

The fact you'd rather stay at this hotel than have your friend on board, speaks volumes!

I agree with others - if you're so wealthy, surely you can sort the difference?

And as for 'penalised for having successful careers'. No. Words.

It’s not really to with the holiday it’s the OPs description of earning less which makes her appear so unpleasant