Juggling everything is so damn hard!!!

[impossible45]

How on earth are you meant to keep a tidy house, “life admin” up to date, hold down full-time jobs, have a nice wardrobe of clothes, look after your own wellbeing and be great parents all at once? I just can’t do it and our house and garden is a tip as a result (something has to give). It’s a shame as I’d like to have people over but never can. I just feel so exhausted by the end of the day, every day. It’s like a rat race and I feel I’m constantly spinning plates, neglecting my own self (I haven’t cut my hair, bought new clothes or been to the dentist in years - my mental health is also shot). I just don’t see how it’s possible to be calm and in control, on top of everything, spending quality time with family, cooking fresh and healthy meals and have a neat and tidy house. Any tips?!!

To be honest I think it’s the full time job that makes it impossible; there seems to be lots of people on munsnet doing it but I don’t know anyone in real life where both parents work full time and manage it without a real negative impact on them - I tried it myself and I was surviving but didn’t want to continue that way.
The way I managed it was scheduling in weekends of doing nothing for the rest, having a cleaner and far too much convenience food

You can’t

drop some of it (personally I’d suggest the house)

Nobody can. It’s not possible or realistic. My next door neighbour looks like she walked straight out of a boden catalogue and the house is immaculate …. but she is wealthy, doesn’t work, and has cleaners and gardeners. When I remind myself of that I feel better about my messy house / self!

Its impossible! Plus stay fit & healthy, exercise, see friends & family! As a full time working Mum, only 2 days off on the weekend...its manic! Zero chill time as so busy with everything.
How we aren't all having mental breakdowns is beyond me! Summer holidays - still working full time..the Mum guilt is insane!! Im all for womens rights but SERIOUSLY we should be working part time or not at all, so we can run the house & look after kids & stay sane!!

No one does it all

Nope it's impossible.
My only way I can try and get things done is by getting up at 05:30am
6:00am Gym
07:15 get ready for work
08:00 work
12:00 lunch break to just run errands
17:00 finish work
18:00 cook dinner
19:00 tidy house
20:00 Study hours
22:00 bed
And then it all starts again..

The way we’re trying to live now doesn’t work. Kids and families and running a home don’t lend themselves to being tucked round the edges of full time jobs. It’s beyond knackering.

Thanks for the solidarity. I hate having a messy house, it makes me feel low mentally and like I’m not in control. But I just don’t have time for it on top of everything else!

Oh I’m so happy to read the responses to this thread! It’s impossible and those who say it is possible either have lots of help or don’t work.

Wow, hats off to you for studying.

It’s beyond knackering.

Yeah it really is. Feel I’m ageing before my eyes as I’m so exhausted. We’re going on holiday camping next week and I don’t want to go - it’s just another stress I could do without. What a sad way to be.

My life is also a shitshow 🤣

I'm the same with the house. I do what I can each day but it also depends on the motivation. Sometimes I have the energy to have a complete clean down of the kitchen etc but other days I can only do the basics because I am so tried from committing to exercise etc

Agree that is impressive. And the gym!

Yeah, sometimes I intend to do it but just don’t have the energy. It’s overwhelming.

Unless you can afford significant help it just isn’t possible.

Agreed OP it’s relentless.

I used to enjoy cooking and I just loathe it now.

Busy full time job, home and feels like straight into cooking, bath, bed time routine, trying to eat - and that’s before any other tasks I need to do.

I have a cleaner come basically a day a week to clean, tidy, iron etc. I couldn’t cope without her.

Summer holidays - still working full time..the Mum guilt is insane!!

Yup that’s the other thing - living with the guilt. I’m at my wits end!

The gym is what gets my mental health through the hamster wheel of life.
.....or I'd be reaching for the vino! X

Sometimes I tell myself that it’s just about discipline and if I had more of that I’d be okay. But actually I just don’t think there’s enough hours in the day. And we all need SOME downtime!

It feels good to talk to others who understand though - so thanks all

I feel like I have a good balance but I have one child, work from home in compressed hours (full time) a supportive partner, a cleaner, an ironer and am financially comfortable. I’m also super organised so stay on top
of stuff well - but its the other factors
that count. I want another child and the job is boring - so it could all change!

It’s relentless 🥴 we have a cleaner weekly and grass man every 3 weeks. Military precision to try and do everything else, my standards have massively dropped which upset me. Delivery for everything possible to try and lessen the mental load and treading water

@FNDandme “Treading water” is exactly right

My Mum did it.
House was always immaculate. The secret seems to be small house & zero clutter.

Kitchen was kept clean as she went along.
Living room was done one morning before work.
Upstairs inc bathroom one evening.
And bathroom got a quick clean at the weekend.

The zero clutter is key. If it was moved to be dusted one week, you'd get a a warning, if you didn't shift it, it would disappear the next.

Zero concerns for the planet or guilt trips about stuff going to landfill!