OH wants to give 3 months old to his mothers for a week

[mummymanic]

Hi all,

im due to have DC4 in March and I’ve got a holiday booked for end of June. I’ve asked OH if he would be okay with all 4 kids and he said “send them to your mums” in questioned him and said “even the baby?” to which he agreed.

this will be our 1st child together. AIBU to think that this is what it’ll be like moving forward and that he won’t want to take care of the child/ren when I want some “me time” and he’ll fob them off to either of our parents? He thinks it’s normal because his nephew spends majority of the week at his mum’s and I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.

trying not to stress about it but it’s really upset me. considering bringing the baby with me abroad but dunno how I’ll manage (also not told anybody im travelling with yet).

Yeah, her partner has gone from not even wanting the baby for week, to wanting all 4, 3 of which aren’t his.

Sure.

Just say you hate being a mum and move on OP, we can all see through the “we have miraculously came to an agreement” post😂

that’s really unfortunate that you can’t get a break after 12 years. can’t relate.

I appreciate all of your opinions honestly but it is very clear that you all live a very different life to me.

Thank fuck! 😆

Im childless and been around the globe i think i have my freedom a bit more than you.

YABVU.

Why are you leaving your baby at 3 months when it isn't necessary?

If your DP is working, he can't look after four children including a 3mo. He can't look after the baby while working, even if the other three are with their dgm.

You have four dcs. If you want to go on holiday, you take them with you, preferably together so you can cope between you.

🙄

You have three kids and a newborn and you want him to take care of all of the children for a week, despite him not being 3 of the DC's dad, and despite him having zero experience of caring for a newborn. Sorry but I think YABU here. A three-month-old baby is too young to be away from its mother for a week, especially in the circumstances you describe. Put your baby first.

@mummymanic it's called parenting. And yes, it's pretty clear to all of us that you can't relate to that.

I don't understand why you don't pull out of the holiday and look after your own baby.
I am glad you have come up with a plan, but it seems strange posting about him not wanting to look after the children, even his own baby, yet you are swanning off on a jolly!

“it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.”

And yet you’re choosing to go on holiday and leave your newborn for a week. Make it make sense.

There is nothing wrong with having a holiday without your dc. However leaving a 3 month old for a week alongside 3 other dc who are not related to the father is highly questionable

I can't relate as I wouldn't leave my 3 year old for a weeks holiday much less a 3 month old.

I think the kids will end up resenting that you put your freedom ahead of their attachment needs as small babies — at the very least, it will affect them. But that's on you. It always amazes me that people choose to have children but refuse to put their desires on the back burner and temporarily prioritise very small children's primary needs.

’I have my post-baby, Instagram-worthy girls holiday planned, and none of you are gonna stop me! I’ve got pictures to spam of me in my bikini drinking cocktails and being fabulous! Kids haven’t changed me, I still love Beefa!!’

is this his first child? Is he feeling nervous about having the baby and you not being able to get back quick? My husband didn’t know what had hit him when I was admitted to hospital 6 weeks after having a baby. He rang his friend saying “shit i got a baby to look after”

Being a parent to 1 or 10 does not mean missing out on things that you enjoy doing

Being a good parent particularly to lots of dc will mean missing out on some things....

If you want freedom and "me" time why have children? As to having a 4th - words fail me.

I hope one day you can all get as much freedom as I can and enjoy your “me time” outside of a bubble bath.

Absolutely dying, probably the meanest insult I've ever read on mumsnet 😂😂😂

a holiday doesn’t come before the need of a 3 month old to be with his Mum.

never mind the other three kids you need to get your priorities in order-and a holiday isn’t your priority!

I don't think the OP really knows or cares about child development or attachment. There is a huge difference between going on holiday when the kids are a bit older and taking multiple holidays leaving your newborn.

Hats off, OP, for the day's funniest thread.

Personally I couldn’t have left a small baby. I’ve been on holiday with a 3 month old plus a 3 year old, a relaxed sort of beach holiday, and it was fine.

So, wait, it’s okay for you to leave your 3mo with someone else, but not for him to do it?