OH wants to give 3 months old to his mothers for a week

[mummymanic]

Hi all,

im due to have DC4 in March and I’ve got a holiday booked for end of June. I’ve asked OH if he would be okay with all 4 kids and he said “send them to your mums” in questioned him and said “even the baby?” to which he agreed.

this will be our 1st child together. AIBU to think that this is what it’ll be like moving forward and that he won’t want to take care of the child/ren when I want some “me time” and he’ll fob them off to either of our parents? He thinks it’s normal because his nephew spends majority of the week at his mum’s and I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.

trying not to stress about it but it’s really upset me. considering bringing the baby with me abroad but dunno how I’ll manage (also not told anybody im travelling with yet).

No, he now has four. Three stepchildren, one biological.

Then he changed his mind......

Is that it?
Have we finished the woman bashing now?
Hope so....

What a patronising, smug update that was. I actually like my children and enjoy spending time with them. I Wouldnt want to go away without them for a week. You sound very emotionaly immature.

My sentiments exactly. If you need a 'holiday" from your children, why would you have 4? Most parents would enjoy nothing less than being away from their newborn for a week, especially when they change so fast.

Do parents who enjoy holidays with their friends not like their children? If you wouldn’t want to go away, then how is OP being smug? Why does it bother you?

Oh come on now. Parents, even mothers, can have holidays with their friends. It is common and normal. You’re not signing up to 18 years of prison.

You’d know given most of the rest us hadn’t been born by then.

I think you need to develop a thick skin if you choose to post on AIBU as you always get some rude posters. You have also been rude in response and called multiple jealous and bitter for no reason.
I also think that being pro women or pro parent doesn't mean supporting poor parenting and putting your wishes over the child's needs.
You seem incredibly invested in this thread for some reason.

Fortunately, most parents don't consider caring for their children to be 'signing up to 18 years of prison.' If you feel like that, I hope you don't have any children yourself.

Cancel the holiday. Regardless of who is looking after the children, a whole week is too long to leave a three month old baby without its mother if the mother is usually the main, daily carer. I realise it sometimes needs to happen for unavoidable reasons but this isn't unavoidable.

This, 100% this!

Absolutely I just read this!! Having children is a gift and a privilege not a prison sentence! No wonder kids today are developing so much anxiety with all this neglectful parenting going on 😔

You're clearly not!! 😆

Exactly!! Clearly @Sharingaroomtinightthen has had one heck of a shite experience parenting if she regards it as “prison”

where are all these posts saying how lucky the op is to be be having a week’s holiday away from her newborn?

To everyone saying "I couldn't leave my dc for a night at 3 years let alone 3 months"... I was really ill when my dd was born. I didn't get to see her until she was a day old because neither of us was well enoigh to move. She was premature and spent weeks in hospital, where I had to leave her on her own every night. Perhaps be a bit more sensitive - when talking so firmly and consistently about how there's only one way to be a mum and how any mum who'd leave a yound child overnight is a bad mum - about how that feels to mums who didn't have that option.

oh come on. There can’t be provisos to every comment.

Obviously being ill is completely different.

You obv have money as plan to go away march June July so I would have suggested getting in a maternity nanny to help as baby so small

but seems now oh is having older kids and you might take baby with you - tho you didn’t seem to want to do that in your op

most mums wouldn’t leave their newborn baby of 3mths to go abroad for a week so I’m guessing baby wasn’t planned as such when holiday was booked

lovely of your mum to offer to have them. Where is the older dc dad ?

Most of us can choose to have ‘me time’ and go on holiday alone if we please, but choose not to. I didn’t have children to cart them off, while I go and enjoy a week away, sorry OP.

What mum leaves a three month behind to have some ‘me time’?

@sunflowered

I was really sorry to read about your experience with newborn.

I couldn't have my DS with me for 24 hours at birth. That was difficult enough so must have been just awful for you, leaving DD in the hospital.
I hope all is well now?

I understand and acknowledge what you said about people being a bit more sensitive.

I'm leaving this thread now, it's been a nasty one and in my opinion, mother bashing.

I have so much nicer things to do with my time 😊

You’re right. Most parents don’t consider it that and therefore are able to go on breaks without their kids and still ‘like their children and want to spend time with them’.

Are you unable to read?

The level of comprehension on this site gets worse every day.