OH wants to give 3 months old to his mothers for a week

[mummymanic]

Hi all,

im due to have DC4 in March and I’ve got a holiday booked for end of June. I’ve asked OH if he would be okay with all 4 kids and he said “send them to your mums” in questioned him and said “even the baby?” to which he agreed.

this will be our 1st child together. AIBU to think that this is what it’ll be like moving forward and that he won’t want to take care of the child/ren when I want some “me time” and he’ll fob them off to either of our parents? He thinks it’s normal because his nephew spends majority of the week at his mum’s and I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.

trying not to stress about it but it’s really upset me. considering bringing the baby with me abroad but dunno how I’ll manage (also not told anybody im travelling with yet).

I don't know what's worse, leaving your 3 mth old baby for a week or thinking it's acceptable to leave 3 older kids with their stepdad when he hasn't agreed to it. If you wanted "me time" you maybe should have thought about it before having 4 kids.

I have one stepdaughter and one daughter and if my husband tried to leave them both in my care for a week so he could have a holiday I'd laugh in his face.

But he wouldn't because he's not a lunatic.

I still don't understand the point you're making about the 4 kids as it seems you're saying they're all yours but only the baby is his and you want to leave all 4 with him.

However, I think the reason you've got the responses you have is not just because you want to go on holiday leaving your newborn, and not only because you want to leave your DH with your newborn and three children that are not his but also because you start by saying: I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents when you're the one planning to go away.

At one point your DH must have split from ex with a daughter.
Then met you. When you were getting together was it classed as "shagging about" with you and not caring about the child?
Like OP?

Don't think it helps to call someone a lunatic, either.

I think women should be able to have discussions and opinions without insults and name calling.

The baby will be at home with a parent.

The dad also is planning to go away next year.
Good for them.

First, she wasn't 3 months old. Second, she cheated on him with his friend and then threw him out so she could move the friend in, so there wasn't much he could have done about it.

He definitely wasn't going off and leaving them to cope for a week at a time to get "me time". Now they both have SD without each other because that's the reality of separated parenting. It's not the norm in a marriage, especially when there's a newborn involved.

If she was leaving the 3 older ones with their actual father, that would be a slightly different story, but 3 months is too young to be separated from either parent for such a long time.

I have been on this site for nearly 20 years and it is easily one of the worst threads I’ve ever read. The jealousy and vitriol is staggering.

Guess we will never know

but my word… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a poster so utterly throw themselves in support of an OP, arguing defensively with pretty much everyone, and the OP scarpered ages ago. It’s quite fascinating!

And leave the baby… with a parent.

You and your “jealousy”

there is nothing about this OP’s situation that would make anyone jealous

Your life must be very dull if someone agreeing with an OP is fascinating.

And yet so many posts on this thread are chastising OP for not knowing how privileged and lucky she is to be able to go on holiday whilst having children.

And @Petitchat little sidekick rides in on her Shetland pony 😆

The level of bitterness is insane. A holiday would do you good.

Jealousy
bitterness

goodness, it’s a dark world out there! 😆

I honestly cant see any jealousy here, bitchiness maybe. Most ppl like to go on holidays with their kids, I think??

Deffo not jealous, ppl are just shocked that someone would have the nerve to get a new partner have her 3 kids (only one of them his) so she can go on holiday on her own!

Sure, and many like to go away without them. Both can be done.

The nerve? The nerve of what? Asking a child’s father to parent?

Yes but the dad only had one child. OP has 4.

The baby + her 3 other children and the OP indicated he wasn't happy with this

So what? OP has arranged for them to be taken care of.

And she was happy to have her mother take care of them. It was his opposition for caring for his own baby she was concerned about.

That's what I've been saying.
@Megaclean sure could do with a break.
A bit more than a BBQ is needed...

The shock! Horror! Clutches pearls and faints......

Hang on, are we back in the 1950's on this thread?