OH wants to give 3 months old to his mothers for a week

[mummymanic]

Hi all,

im due to have DC4 in March and I’ve got a holiday booked for end of June. I’ve asked OH if he would be okay with all 4 kids and he said “send them to your mums” in questioned him and said “even the baby?” to which he agreed.

this will be our 1st child together. AIBU to think that this is what it’ll be like moving forward and that he won’t want to take care of the child/ren when I want some “me time” and he’ll fob them off to either of our parents? He thinks it’s normal because his nephew spends majority of the week at his mum’s and I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.

trying not to stress about it but it’s really upset me. considering bringing the baby with me abroad but dunno how I’ll manage (also not told anybody im travelling with yet).

On what planet would anyone be jealous of a single parent of three young children who hooks up with a new fella, falls pregnant soon after and at the very outset of the pregnant is already engaging in a stand off with new fella cos she wants her solo holiday with no kids 3 months post birth.

I mean… life has to be pretty shit to be jealous of this

You should take a leaf out of OP's book and go on a break.
Just a suggestion.

This site should be called ANTI mumsnet

You’re a right old drama queen aren’t you @Petitchat ?! 😆

You are bang on right

the BBQ is a-calling

Everyone does what works for them. I have gone away many times over the years when the children were young. Dh the same. Time away is very important. Away for a week when the baby is 3 months old? No.

Maybe it is?
Like OP's situation, I know nothing about you.

Yes I think I can be when it comes to women slagging off other women.

It's a public forum. OP has posted something that very very few people would do.

If you post your life on a forum like this you are inviting comment, quite literally.

It's odd to try and gatekeep that, you've just embroiled yourself in a totally pointless argument

You do know that being a woman doesn’t make someone immune from criticism don’t you?

This whole notion that women should never criticise other women, the “sisterhood” and all that is just a load of bollocks.

She’s rightly being criticised for the decisions she’s making. Being a woman doesn’t make that wrong.

Why is the OP getting such a hard time about going away? On other threads where women post that their DP is going away on a holiday leaving her with a newborn and the kids, they are told that they should let him go and that they’ll be fine. On one thread where a woman didn’t want her husband to go on holiday leaving her with a baby, she was told by one poster to see her HV about ‘some resources to help her cope’

Fucking double standards on here!

This woman doesn't need any support, nor is she asking for any. She posted on AIBU asking for opinions, which she was given. Now, because most people disagreed with her and/or criticised her behaviour, you have decided that the whole site is anti mums. What a strange and hyperbolic conclusion.

It must be a relief to you that Mumsnet is PRO child, even if you have decided that it is anti mums!

Exactly...

I wouldn't do it if l was him either - the baby is one thing but 3 others who aren't? Sorry op l think you are pushing it a bit there!

She's rightly being criticised for the decisions she's making.

That's fine.
It's the nastiness I object to.
Shagging around etc.
There's absolutely no need for it.

Does that go for all stepdads or just this one?

YABU

It's even odder to slag off someone you don't even know, as some have done on this thread.

OP has posted something that very very few people would do.

So that makes her a target for disgusting insults?

Okaay

@Petitchat are you new to mumsnet? This is all pretty standard practice on here?

You are correct. She asked for "opinions" about her DP and was just about called a slag.
You think that's right?

Out of interest, any of you guys been "shagging about"?

So, no one divorced and in a new relationship?
Wanting to start a new family?

Anyone?

No it's not. Been here for years.

There's been many many women on mumsnet who have split from one relationship and started another. And had more children.
Without these insults.

The ONLY difference this time is that this OP is going on a week's holiday without children.

Therefore, the conclusion has to be jealousy.
Unless it's genuine concern for the children....?

In which case, accusing the mother of sleeping around and shacking up with some guy isn't going to help, is it?

Me… I’m divorced

new family? Shagging about?

Sorry to disappoint but… no

Very happy actually.

Out of interest @Petitchat what is your situation? How old are you?

Yes, this is your life looking forward. He has no feeling of connection to the baby you're having together, and has no idea of himself as a father.

You should forget about the holiday. See if you can get your money back. It's absolutely nuts to think you could head off and leave a baby that young with an older person on top of three other children. The baby would still be waking in the night and would require a huge amount of care in the day.