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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradesperson has been in the loo 15 mins +

149 replies

Alifemoreordinary123 · 06/08/2025 09:30

I’m having a difficult morning and feel totally stressed out. We’re having some work done and this has added to the worry - context being that I’m on edge generally. But AIBU to think it’s odd / unreasonable for a tradesperson to nip to the loo (didn’t ask, but I’d have been absolutely fine with them using it) but not emerge for more than 15 mins. This is the downstairs loo leading into our hallway. Totally get that when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go - but surely you’re bloody quick about it if it’s in someone else’s home and you’ve never met them. At what point do I gently knock? Semi-light hearted, horribly stressed out working mum!

BTW I also have bad bowel issues so I get some of the possible context and causes - but I manage my condition so that flares are sorted at home in the main.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alifemoreordinary123 · 06/08/2025 10:20

I promise I’m not obsessed with the toilet habits of others (my own maybe, but that’s another thread). I’m at an unfortunate proximity and it felt a long time 🤷♀️ . The poor bloke emerged, carried on for a bit and has then gone back in so assume there is an issue. Clearly an unreasonable subject to raise on here so apologies for that.

OP posts:
ObtuseMoose · 06/08/2025 10:24

Vile! Nuke the entire house once he leaves.

Fourlovelychildren · 06/08/2025 10:26

What a disgusting human being, how rude. You’ll have to burn the house down after he’s left.

Oreosareawful · 06/08/2025 10:28

Did he take his passport in there with him?

MoriftedinaFrenchEscapeRoom · 06/08/2025 10:30

Oreosareawful · 06/08/2025 10:28

Did he take his passport in there with him?

😂😂😂

Springtimehere · 06/08/2025 10:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MsPug · 06/08/2025 10:44

Tradesmen and poo, tradesmen and knickers! Hmmm

beetr00 · 06/08/2025 11:32

Oreosareawful · 06/08/2025 10:28

Did he take his passport in there with him?

obviously his phone though?

Don't worry @Alifemoreordinary123 he's probably just skiving, nothing more concerning. 😉

InOverMyHead84 · 06/08/2025 11:35

Hey, tradespeople like hot curry too.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 06/08/2025 11:39

No doubt he hasn't got a bowel condition, he's just scrolling through facebook

EchoedSilence · 06/08/2025 11:41

Perhaps he's trying on all your knickers.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 06/08/2025 11:43

Let the poor man poo in peace. It must be embarrassing for him to know that you’re monitoring him.

Judiezones · 06/08/2025 11:45

Maybe it's his break and he likes to spend it on the lav with his phone. Maybe he's having a difficult poo. Unfortunate that it's on your toilet but if he's good at his job, overlook the toilet time. It's not forever and you can give it a good clean, if that's your worry.

Holdonforsummer · 06/08/2025 11:47

How do you know he doesn’t have bowel issues too?

MushMonster · 06/08/2025 11:48

Controlling much, are we?
Please, get a hold of yourself!
Your contractor is a human being that you do not own.
If it was an hour, yeap I would gentlu knocked and ask "are you ok?". 15 min! NOPE!

PringlesTube · 06/08/2025 11:49

Just hope he was having a poo and not a wank.

itsgettingweird · 06/08/2025 11:53

I couldn’t get past “he didn’t ask”

Hes working in your home. I would have thought using your loo was a given.

Id hate to think a tradesman in my home felt they had to ask to use my loo!

Blackcarrots · 06/08/2025 11:57

I can’t / don’t let anyone use the toilet in my home unless they are family. If we have work done that will take a while we arrange a portaloo type thing in front garden. If it’s a shorter work job I lock the toilet door from the outside while someone is here and say someone is unwell and in there if they ask, there are shops and a cafe with facilities less than 5 mins away

User9784754 · 06/08/2025 12:02

The oldest male trick in the book. He just spent 20mins watching Tiktoks and replying to Whatsapp messages. Bonus as he's on billable working hours.

The length of time DH manages to spend in the loo every weekend is mind boggling, often 3 blocks of 20-30mins within 3 hours and another 20mins in the afternoon. He does this to escape any child or housework related responsibilities. I'm 100% convinced he thinks he's being clever and assumes that nobody will notice the length of time someone is in locked toilet, as proven by the replies in this thread calling OP a weirdo and freak for timing another person on the loo.

Someone has to say this but urgent bowel issues are usually over very quickly. A bout of diarrhea empties you out in seconds so there's no reason to sit for another 20mins. If you have constipation then it can definitely wait a few more hours. The most obvious reason someone stays 20+ mins in the loo is because they're on their phone or just taking a break.

Coffeeishot · 06/08/2025 12:02

Blackcarrots · 06/08/2025 11:57

I can’t / don’t let anyone use the toilet in my home unless they are family. If we have work done that will take a while we arrange a portaloo type thing in front garden. If it’s a shorter work job I lock the toilet door from the outside while someone is here and say someone is unwell and in there if they ask, there are shops and a cafe with facilities less than 5 mins away

This is obviously a you issue you have to realise not letting someone use your toilet is an unhealthy attitude to have.

Isitreallysohard · 06/08/2025 12:08

NavyRose · 06/08/2025 09:39

I would not spend 15 mins in someone else's loo, especially a downstairs loo unless I was very unwell. Maybe ask if he's alright when he comes out.

Why?

Original poster
Alifemoreordinary123 · 06/08/2025 12:09

@itsgettingweird most do I ask in my experience so I guess they’ve set their own bar there.

OP posts:
Isitreallysohard · 06/08/2025 12:10

Blackcarrots · 06/08/2025 11:57

I can’t / don’t let anyone use the toilet in my home unless they are family. If we have work done that will take a while we arrange a portaloo type thing in front garden. If it’s a shorter work job I lock the toilet door from the outside while someone is here and say someone is unwell and in there if they ask, there are shops and a cafe with facilities less than 5 mins away

You really need therapy if this is true. Hope you're never in a situation where you need to go, maybe then you'll be more sympathetic

nomoreshite · 06/08/2025 12:16

Blackcarrots · 06/08/2025 11:57

I can’t / don’t let anyone use the toilet in my home unless they are family. If we have work done that will take a while we arrange a portaloo type thing in front garden. If it’s a shorter work job I lock the toilet door from the outside while someone is here and say someone is unwell and in there if they ask, there are shops and a cafe with facilities less than 5 mins away

Oh come on, stop winding everyone up.
On the off chance this is true you need urgent help.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 06/08/2025 12:20

Did he say: "I'd give that 10 minutes, love"...?