Tradesperson has been in the loo 15 mins +

[Alifemoreordinary123]

I’m having a difficult morning and feel totally stressed out. We’re having some work done and this has added to the worry - context being that I’m on edge generally. But AIBU to think it’s odd / unreasonable for a tradesperson to nip to the loo (didn’t ask, but I’d have been absolutely fine with them using it) but not emerge for more than 15 mins. This is the downstairs loo leading into our hallway. Totally get that when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go - but surely you’re bloody quick about it if it’s in someone else’s home and you’ve never met them. At what point do I gently knock? Semi-light hearted, horribly stressed out working mum!

BTW I also have bad bowel issues so I get some of the possible context and causes - but I manage my condition so that flares are sorted at home in the main.

I find it covers all eventualities- from a bout of diarrhoea to a constipated nnnnnnnnn poo.

This. I mean, come on.

Probably having a constipated shit, I could tell you my experience of this in a public toilet but I won't

How unenlightened.

All pigs are equal but some are more equal than others.

Oh my goodness, now you’re correcting my grammar, hmm ok if that makes you feel better.
Unbelievable, that you typed this patronising monologue, wishing l could walk a mile in someone’s 'colitis shoes! just so l can understand.Wow, what a horrible thing to think, let alone type.
you’re completely overacting! Using this thread to vent.Just try and calm down, not take your anger out on posters, who just have a difference of opinion to you.

Of course I do. If someone was doing a job for a few hours and said they had a condition and needed instant access to a toilet I’d just get a portaloo for that we usually only do it for longer building jobs but I’d happily do it if needed for even a few hours but everyone else has been ok and used the shops / cafe facilities nearby

That would be my concern - not that, god forbid, a man is using my toilet but that I'm being billed for it

I think your post was horrible and very unenlightened.

Take a look at yourself and have some empathy for people who have different ailments to you, and therefore need to live their lives differently.

Interesting, that you had no answers to the majority of my “monologue”, nothing to say about the obvious questions?

I don’t feel better, because you’ll still get people like you, who think it’s oh so easy to control your bowel and you’re just choosing not.

Sad world!

I mean for short jobs, if you are having a washer fitted to a tap, do you tell the tradie know before they take the job that no access to the toilet will be allowed?

Id want to know that, so I could decline the job, because I don’t have a bowel issue, but because I’d not want to accept a job working for you with an attitude like that.

I could add a lot of suggestions as to why he is in there for so long, but will leave the ones so far not added to.

Please. Spare me.

Again wow.You wishing l walked in someone’s colitis shoes, for a mile, to get me to understand, was horrible, all you’re doing is trying to turn this around to justify what you said.
I’m not interested in having answers to all that you said, because you’re being over the top and patronising, over this thread which really isn’t that deep, someone used a toilet without asking.

Exactly.
This person, is definitely on one!

I had a builder that spent 30 mins in the outside toilet every morning and every afternoon. I think that is unreasonable when you are being paid for your time. Obviously I didn't say anything, but I do think a lot of it is work avoidance.

Does anyone's arse have a timer🕑

My DH, my brothers, one of my brothers in law, all tradesmen, I find it really upsetting to think they'd be in someone's house and have the person think/ say things like this about them. Monitoring their toilet usage? Expecting them to ask to use the toilet? In what professional role would this ever be expected? They're adults and professionals, and working in your home which they're well aware has to be respected. Please imagine it was your husband, and his employer was timing his toilet breaks, speculating on the internet about his stomach, complaining that he hadn't asked to use the toilet.

And if the poor man is sick, he did at least try to get on with his work. My brother once went to work in the morning not feeling well and had to come straight home cause he'd been sick as soon as he got out of the van. He was like 20, and Mum had told him to take the day off, but he was worried about letting people down. I don't know, they work so hard, they do sometimes work when they shouldn't, but they should get some credit for that too, shouldn't they? It's horrible to read people fixating on germs or the "billable hours". I hope my DH and brothers work for nicer people!

@Tiredandtiredagain I agree with you.

I’m with you OP, but that’s because I have health anxiety/emetophobia and would be terrified that he had a stomach bug we were going to catch…
But that’s a ‘me’ problem.

Oh give over!

Having empathy is not “on one”.

Wow!

You’re still defending your empathetic view, oh well maybe one day you’ll understand it’s not just that simple?

Time will tell …

*unempathetic

Please. Enlighten me.

Yes we say at the point of booking. I lock it as well just in case but it’s always been fine . I know it’s 100% my problem but I don’t want to end up having a meltdown and being ill for days and days so it’s just something I have to do

That’s fair and the tradie has a choice.