Tradesperson has been in the loo 15 mins +

[Alifemoreordinary123]

I’m having a difficult morning and feel totally stressed out. We’re having some work done and this has added to the worry - context being that I’m on edge generally. But AIBU to think it’s odd / unreasonable for a tradesperson to nip to the loo (didn’t ask, but I’d have been absolutely fine with them using it) but not emerge for more than 15 mins. This is the downstairs loo leading into our hallway. Totally get that when you’ve got to go you’ve got to go - but surely you’re bloody quick about it if it’s in someone else’s home and you’ve never met them. At what point do I gently knock? Semi-light hearted, horribly stressed out working mum!

BTW I also have bad bowel issues so I get some of the possible context and causes - but I manage my condition so that flares are sorted at home in the main.

Providing access to water and toilet facilities is basic standards for anyone doing work in your home, I can't believe the comments on here about locking toilets or setting up portable loos.
Just leave the guy to it. Honestly if you're that close to the loo, I'd be moving somewhere else in the house so you can both have privacy.

I think if you don't want to provide water and toilet facilities you shouldn't have them in your home and therefore do everything yourself instead. It's ridiculous to lock people out of toilets.
It's not normal either. Some people seem to think it is because a lot of people posting on MN don't want tradesmen in their toilets and there are constant shitting tradesmen threads. The more people read stuff like this, the more normal they think it is to deny them access to a toilet.
Meanwhile, in the real world, I would hazard a guess that most people greet the tradesman, show them where they'll be working (if they don't know already), show them the toilet, offer them a drink etc, tell them they can let you know if they need anything and let them get on with it.

He was probably just playing on his phone

You obviously do not know anywhere near enough about bowel issues as you’d then know that not all of them can simply be “sorted at home”.

Or light a match!
Seriously this would make me really uncomfortable but then it would probably make me laugh too.
I hate having workman around and have been known to lie down in a darkened room once they’ve gone. However I hide it well and make them loads of builder’s tea and biscuits.

😂Yes, it’s a Mumsnet treat. A classic theme enlivened with a touch of jeopardy.

@LadyHexham why would he? He still has his work to do when he stops playing on his phone.

@Horses7 It can be really stressful getting work done, and tradesmen know that. It's part of what makes their job difficult - that their workplace is someone's home, and their work tends to make a mess and a lot of noise, in someone's home. They do know this. It's a hard part of the job. Totally fair enough to need a lie down after they leave!

It's awful (for me, my DH and brothers don't seem so bothered tbh), that some people make them feel so unwelcome. And thank you to everyone who treats them with respect. @Horses7 @Tiredandtiredagain and prob lots of others on the thread!!

I do have to ask though - what is 'builder's tea'? Is it different from tea?

@Blueyrocks "I do have to ask though - what is 'builder's tea'? Is it different from tea?"

sorta this colour 🧱 😉

😂

Can’t believe you’ve never heard of builders tea!!
Builders tea is very strong tea, usually with loads of sugar. Our workman last week actually asked for builders tea.
Btw it’s nothing to do with builders bum!!

Never heard it called that, but have had that exact formula - very strong very sweet tea - prescribed by my wonderful gran for 'shock' (as in, if someone got a terrible fright, or a disappointment, or bad news). Ah, good memories. I'd have a cup of "builders tea", if you're offering 😉 (Though my builders - as in, my brothers - would prefer coffee and can be kinda wanky about it - fresh ground beans, milk is an abomination and only for sissies, and so on...)

but I manage my condition so that flares are sorted at home in the main.

Well done you, that's not something everyone can manage.

He probably wanted to make calls/messages on his phone.at the same time. We had something similar here and I thought the young man had a stomach upset. He was just using his phone in the lavatory every 20 mins .

I'm guessing that he wanted to make a phone call without you hanging over him?

I've had loads of work done at my house. I say "the toilet is in there, help yourself to tea and coffee, leave drinks and food in the fridge if you want. Now I'm going to be working [insert name of room furthest from where they are doing work]. Just shout if you need me". Every time they come I get stressed but I'm still welcoming and polite.

Every time I poo, I take about 15+ minutes to feel emptied. Maybe I have bowel issues. Im not sure. But its just how its always been.

Not all places will let people use facilities if they aren't a customer and especially if they are dressed like a builder etc. How long do you lock your toilet for? Because 15 minutes could cost someone their dignity if they have bowel disease! Locking your toilet up visibly when you've asked people to come and do work for you is just inhuman

Absolutely, I have bowel disease and most mornings every goes through me like a dose of dose of salt several times, on my office days I may be empty by the time I get there, sometimes I've got stomach ache and need to go again when I get there. There's no hard and fast rule, different foods have different effects and when it's a bowel spasm situation it can just be the intense pain that keeps you sat on the boh until it releases.

I really feel for the people commenting re bowel issues, it must be so upsetting to have a health condition of that sort and see how weirdly prissy and controlling some people can be about their toilets. I think most people irl see a toilet for what it is!!

I would also just like to say, though, that people without bowel issues should be able to access a toilet (and not be timed using it) at work too! As in, it's a basic right, regardless of any health condition, and there should be no need or pressure to disclose health conditions to access that very basic universal right.

I think it is weirder that you are timing him to be honest

I’m guessing you’ve noticed it because you would never dream of taking that long in someone else’s house.

He’s a tradesman, he’s probably so used to doing it in strangers homes that he lost any embarrassment about his bodily functions, no point in causing himself an accident or potential harm by rushing it.

Why does it matter? You have no idea what he might be dealing with. He’s probably embarrassed as it is.

@Americano75 this poster is best ignored. It’s a pattern on other threads too

These posts are always insane. A guest in your house is using a basic facility for the purpose intended. If someone is working in my house, I show them where the toilet is, I make them tea, and provide biscuits. Say they can use the microwave, kettle and fridge. Show them where they can plug in their phone. For those that were with me for months, I showed them where the kettle was but also made them one if I was making myself one. For delivery guys especially this time of year I leave out snacks, I've offered the toilet before when they have asked if I know where the nearest one is - they aren't allowed to use them. Have a heart.