Scolding DS's accident

[ellie09]

Hi all

My DP moved in with me, DS (8 year old) and my dog about 2 months ago now with his 2 cats. We knew it was going to be an adjustment period as far as the pets were concerned.

At the moment, we have the dog downstairs and cats upstairs. We are slowly introducing them and they are now at the point where they can be about a metre away from each other with supervision and remain calm in each others company. We still keep them separated when we are working etc and unable to supervise, so the door downstairs remains closed.

Today, DS accidentally left the door open a little, which resulted in the dog running up the stairs. No big deal, I just ran up and got dog back downstairs.

However, DP seems to have taken it a bit too far (in my eyes). He immediately scolded DS and gave him silent treatment, stomped around the house sulking that all the work put in with the pets is now a waste as the cats will be scared etc etc.

I told DP that it wasn't a big deal, it was an accident and to just forget it, to which he said "oh I'm sure it wasnt an accident". At this point, I told him he was taking it too fad now, and gave him silent treatment back the same way he feels its ok to give DS.

AIBU or is his reaction unreasonable?

I cant stand by scolding and punishing DS for an accident and something that didnt cause any harm etc.

Count me out! Children come before pets /animal’s every time. It’s sad that most people do t think like us.

She dont care about her son. She cares about the cocklodher and even his pets way more. She expect’s her poor son to slot in with her selfish choices …Pathetic 🤡

Your partner seems unreasonable.

Is this the only time a questionable moment has occurred?

If your son apologised and resumed taking good care with the door, that is all that should have happened.

If you think continuing the relationship is wise, can you not have some high shelves, cupboard tops etc to which the cats retreat if the dog chases them. As soon as the dog follows the cats call it off and ask it to sit and behave.

The grumpy stomps and paranoid childish thinking, I could never abide, sorry.

One word - OUT.

He needs to get a grip, or you need to get rid.

Having introduced several cats and kittens to three different dogs over the years, it should not be this difficult. And you are doing nobody any favours (pets included) dragging things out like this.

Cats are dickheads, good to have them brought down a peg or two every so often.

Tell your partner to stop being a wetwipe.

Have you posted about this before OP? Before moving in?

I remember a post about a woman with an autistic child, dogs, partner, cats, and the overall consensus was DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.

Anyway your DP is being emotionally abusive to your child and your only priority is your child here. Get the fucker out.

From @ellie09's original post:

"I told DP that it wasn't a big deal, it was an accident and to just forget it, to which he said "oh I'm sure it wasnt an accident". At this point, I told him he was taking it too fad now, and gave him silent treatment back the same way he feels its ok to give DS."

He's saying it was done on purpose and is implying the child is lying. If "D"P apologized to him, he'd still be on very thin ice with me. No one should mistreat her son; relationships become more difficult as kids grow up and this will likely be the first of many "scoldings."

As for the silent treatment, stop it from happening NOW- it's very damaging to people and it's absolutely cruel to treat an 8-year-old that way.

This. I'm so sick of reading threads like these. It's shocking how many women are like this and how many children are living in miserable or even abusive homes as a result.

It hugely explains how many adults are low contact/ no contact with their parents.

They know they didn't care about them, put some awful new partner first, which resulted in a shit childhood.

As adults they move away or avoid the parent.
They see how little they were cared for or protected by their parent, and now feel no loyalty to them, and are happier not to have them in their lives.

Not cool. Get rid of the partner