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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

angry husband on holiday, what to do for the next week

244 replies

Staringsun · 05/08/2025 12:25

I am on holiday with my husband. We’ve had some pretty bad arguments in the past, but this time has been awful.

I was wearing a local custom headscarf (which is not needed, but done so out of respect) and he said I was wearing it incorrectly and I didn’t need to wear it at all. I said I just liked it, and he came over to me and pulled it off my head. People around us looked at me and I said later on that I found it embarrassing and to never do it again. the rest of the day he was nit picking things like I didn’t know where I was going (neither did he), he said I have shit taste in food, that I make everything seem dirty (he was going through my makeup bag)

On the way back to the hotel, I was crying and trying hard to hide it by wearing sunglasses, when we got back he said “you’re always crying it’s just not normal”, and “I’ve never experienced anything like this”.

It escalated because I was being “quiet” with him, he said “don’t make me angry” and I stupidly goaded him and said “why not? What happens when you’re angry?” And he flipped the laptop which was on the desk over in my direction.

He then packed all our stuff, and said we’re going to another hotel where you feel more comfortable. All this whilst hysterically crying.

I said I didn’t want to go to another hotel I just wanted to sleep, and he went to bed. He woke up very sad and then just said “sorry for shouting”

I don’t know what to do. He has been ok for the last couple of days, but it just feels strange now. He’s not acted like this before?

OP posts:
BountifulPantry · 05/08/2025 13:40

He’s a sorry excuse for a human being.

ns87 · 05/08/2025 13:40

I am so sorry OP, this sounds awful. Stay safe, try to get home and kick him out.

CanOfMangoTango · 05/08/2025 13:42

I would cut the holiday short, buy a flight and go home.

He is awful.

IsawwhatIsaw · 05/08/2025 13:44

Agree with pp, sounds like he’s trying to force you to leave by his behaviour, then he’ll blame you.
it sounds awful, I’m so sorry

Goonie1 · 05/08/2025 14:02

I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this OP.
Im not saying this is the case for you, but all of a sudden, my husband started to pick fights with me and say shitty things to me and then acted really really odd when we were away on holiday. Turns out he was having an affair and looking back now, he was causing these issues to drive a wedge between us to make the situation look like my fault. Needless to say, he’s my ex husband now and I’m well rid.
Please don’t stand for his behaviour and put yourself first.

cordeliavorkosigan · 05/08/2025 14:09

Is he like this at home?
You said you have bad arguments but this does sound abusive, which is more than just an argument.
If he's not like this at home, could be be drinking in secret at home and now having withdrawl? Or as pp have said, maybe there's someone else.
But whatever the reason, it's not ok! I'd consider heading home alone, leave him to it.

Easipeelerie · 05/08/2025 14:15

You need to get away from him as soon as safely possible. Pulling off your scarf was abusive.

Cherrysoup · 05/08/2025 14:16

Never done anything like this before yet you’ve had awful arguments in the past?! Hmm. Pulling the scarf from your head somewhere where women wear them is absolutely appalling of him and if he doesn’t understand that, he snot have gone to that place. The disrespect he’s shown you in public is shocking.

Berlinlover · 05/08/2025 14:19

I get the feeling there may be another woman and he’s bitter and angry about being on holiday with you.

Sidebeforeself · 05/08/2025 14:24

TheSandgroper · 05/08/2025 12:32

If you are somewhere where the locals wear headscarves normally and he has pulled it off your head in the public street, you have been insulted to the very, very highest level. Everyone in that street will likely have never, ever seen something so awful before.

You have been publicly degraded.

Get your passport, a pair of clean knickers and your credit card. Go downstairs, find reception and ask for a taxi to the airport. Come home as soon as humanly possible and get your ducks in a row.

You must divorce.

Edited

What’s the betting she doesn’t have a credit card.

Sidebeforeself · 05/08/2025 14:25

Sorry that wasn’t a criticism of OP

PrincessofWells · 05/08/2025 14:33

You are being very unreasonable just being with this person. Leave, don't look back.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/08/2025 14:34

Agreeing with others saying that pulling a headscarf off your head in a country where women wear them will have been seen by those around you as unforgivable. You should see it that way too.

I’d secretly book a flight and come home. And see a lawyer. Flipping the laptop is designed to scare you, it is abusive and a sign of things to come.

sweatervest · 05/08/2025 14:38

that's scary and terrifying and i was in the same position as you.

also the fact that you're on holiday - i.e. meant to be nice and that you're on holiday - i.e. you're most likely isolated from what and who you know so it's even scarier.

i hope you can get home safely and by yourself.
he is a big pig and also a c//t and vile.

zanahoria · 05/08/2025 14:39

TroysMammy · 05/08/2025 12:32

He's a cunt. Is he like this at home? Could he be resentful about being on holiday because he doesn't have access to a distraction back home?

Nailed it in the first sentence

SeaDragon17 · 05/08/2025 14:40

TheSandgroper · 05/08/2025 12:32

If you are somewhere where the locals wear headscarves normally and he has pulled it off your head in the public street, you have been insulted to the very, very highest level. Everyone in that street will likely have never, ever seen something so awful before.

You have been publicly degraded.

Get your passport, a pair of clean knickers and your credit card. Go downstairs, find reception and ask for a taxi to the airport. Come home as soon as humanly possible and get your ducks in a row.

You must divorce.

Edited

All this….^^

mauvaiseherbe · 05/08/2025 14:42

Berlinlover · 05/08/2025 14:19

I get the feeling there may be another woman and he’s bitter and angry about being on holiday with you.

@Berlinlover agreed! then as soon as OP hasflownhome OW
on standby flies out, they may even pass each other at Gatwick

ThatsNotMyTeen · 05/08/2025 14:43

He’s an abusive prick

i hope you find the courage to leave

MarySueSaidBoo · 05/08/2025 14:47

OP has he forgotten to take any medication with him? Or has he been drinking something he wouldn't normally? Is this normal behaviour for him?

I would tell him calmly that you're not his punch bag, and whatever is going on, he needs to sort it out and he's ruining a much longed for holiday.

OriginalUsername2 · 05/08/2025 14:47

You’re being abused. None of this is you, you’ve found yourself where many women have been before. Me included.

Escape Plan. Make one.

IT IS NOT YOU IN THE WRONG. Hold this in your head 24/7

He’s a dangerous man.

PringlesTube · 05/08/2025 14:48

He is abusive. I’d go home if possible.

BunnyLake · 05/08/2025 14:48

Oh dear. Looks like you’ve got a right cunt of a husband there. Nasty pig of a man, can you get rid of him?

blondiepigtails · 05/08/2025 14:56

mauvaiseherbe · 05/08/2025 13:38

there is someone else he would rather be on holiday with so you may as well go home

This was my first thought

zingally · 05/08/2025 15:00

If you're in a country where headscarves are generally the norm for women, and the locals saw a man rip it off your head...? I'm not surprised they stared. That's a disgusting insult.
He sounds utterly horrid OP.

Bubblebathsarelikehugs · 05/08/2025 15:03

Honestly I’d that was my husband I’d be sending him a present in the form of divorce papers

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