To not have sex for 8 years because I have small breasts

[islaw3048unfln]

I know men strongly prefer larger breasts, that's what 99% look at, and want, even when the rest of a woman's figure is just straight up and down as long as she has big boobs it's hot/amazing etc to them.

I know I could get laid (men will sleep with anything that isn't Quasimodo), but I don't want to be settled for, a body just to use but that they aren't really turned on by.

So I just don't feel like sex, never in the mood, I don't want to be dating where a man is just eyeing up other bustier women all the time and feeling unsatisfied/wishing there were two balloons up top in bed.

Not a fan no, she's just everywhere at the moment. Her PR team must be fantastic!

Thank you. I think the bra size I was measured at is deceptive. People think a C cup is a decent size, which it can be if you're 34C, but when it's a small band size, 28, they actually look like A cups, or maybe small B at best.

This. It doesn't look masculine or sexy at all in my opinion. Most of hte men with them are too thin and their faces look gaunt.

I like slim men, naturally broad shoulders and bigger arms, but griddle abs I just don't get the appeal.

I’m firmly in the small breast camp for a few reasons- not going to share the details…

I’d guess it’s about 50/50 for guys who like big breasts vs don’t.

To be honest, I’d also say it tends to be the less decent guys who are into big breasts so you have a great way to filter them out.

This is NOT a problem to stop you dating or having sex.

Mine are a small B cup and DH loves them. Your opinion is complete nonsense if you ask me. Men are attracted to all sorts of different things and when it comes to boobs there’s size, shape, side boob, areola, nipples etc etc.

Some men simply won’t care.

I prefer smaller ones... I must be a deviant! 😂

I had this hang up as a teenager. But it's just a trope of 80s/90s culture. Look at the 1920s and 1960s - loads of small boobed sex symbols! It's just fashion. Tbh I thought small breasts were back in fashion and it was all massive bums now..? Seriously stop worrying about it and get out there if that's what you want...? Mant men prefer small breasts or just fancy women as people rather than as a breast size.

Men's opinions are welcome, and thank you. I've heard that before, and I can see what people mean by it, but....is it still not nicer to be with a woman whose body you find attractive? I'd actually not like it a man said to me, 'I can overlook this or that part of you because you seem confident'. I'd rather he just thought I was attractive tbh.

Can't believe this is still dragging on 🍒

This is genuinely one of the saddest threads I’ve read on here (if real).

Who gives a toss what men like? Most of them are just happy to be in the presence of a pair of tits.

This would only be valid if people were robots and their physical appearance was their only characteristic in attraction. The ‘handsomest’ man in the world would be unattractive to me if he was dull and unconfident.

As it is, people are attracted to an entire package including personality, smell etc etc. I’ve known male friends to deem highly classically beautiful women unsexually attractive as they were boring. Charisma is sexy. Physical characteristics are secondary (within reason).

Tell me, when you find someone attractive, are you finding him attractive because of one or two specific attributes, or because you find the entire person attractive?

I've never once thought to myself "I fancy the pants off her because of her breasts". The thought stops itself at "I fancy the pants off her".

Despite how shallow men can be, we're really don't treat women like they're a mix and match set of parts, and we're looking for the one with all of the physical attributes we most want. That's not how it works. It's a binary choice. We either fancy the person or we don't, and that choice doesn't come down to any specific attribute. We're not thinking "I'd fancy her if she had red hair", or bigger boobs, or a nicer laugh. We're attracted to someone because we like the person - looks, personality, confidence, all rolled into one. Yes, individual attributes may contribute to that, but it's the whole that matters.

I'm gonna go for a food based metaphor now. I like pizza. But I like pizza because its a combination of different ingredients. I'm not going to sit there and eat a plain pizza base, or squirt tomato sauce in my mouth, or eat a block of cheese. (Well, ok, maybe the last one)

Now certain ingredients in pizza are vital. You can't make a pizza without the base. And certain ingredients are highly recommended, like tomato sauce and cheese (Any BBQ sauce lovers can shut up right now, you're sick freaks and you know it.) Everything else is just a topping, its optional.

For me, and 99% of people, the base is pretty simple - Opposite sex, within 10 years of me. Conscious.

Tomato and cheese - Good company, not a racist, intelligent etc.

Toppings - Literally everything else

You're treating "big boobs" like it's the pizza base. Like you literally cannot make the pizza without it. It's not. It's a topping. And not a particularly important one either. It's pineapple. Some people love it on a pizza, some people can't stand it.

Now I don't mind pineapple on a pizza, but that doesn't mean I want a Hawaiian every single time. Personally, I'd usually go for something else.

And yes, there are men out there who only want a plain cheese pizza with some pineapple added on top. But mostly, they're very boring men whose opinion on pizza isn't very important.

Most men like a wide variety of pizzas, some might have pineapple on them, most won't. And for most men, the individual ingredients are less important than the fact that the pizza as a whole tastes nice. And when we're eating a nice pizza, we're really not thinking "I wish this had some pineapple on it." We knew when we bought the pizza that it didn't have pineapple on it. We made that choice intentionally, because pineapple isn't important to us.

Right, I've tortured this metaphor enough I think.

Well, of course. But the idea that one specific feature will be attractive to all men is daft. Humans are varied, what one person finds attractive could very well not be a preference for another.

Just because you have a feature that some men may not have as a preference.... There are others that will prefer someone of your body shape.

It's true that there are men who will only date women with large breasts, there are also men who only date women with small breasts and then there's the other 97 percent of men who are so excitted a women has consented for them to touch their breasts that they don't even know how big they actually are.😂

Even if they prefer it, if they have any intelligence and character they know they aren't going to get everything they prefer and that it's trivial.
Equally a woman might prefer a man look like a young Pierce Brosnan and be a millionaire but know she is not going to get that. It's not that it would be settling for less, just realizing that those superficial things are unimportant.

I do agree with you due to the influence of porn a lot of men are extremely sexually entitled, do think they should be able to get a woman who looks like a porn star and that she should do anything a man wants in bed.
If you watch out for red flags when dating you should be able to avoid this sort of worthless prick. They will make themselves known to you in little ways like eyeing other women, not listening to what you are saying, saying they are "sex positive" (which often really means pro male sexual entitlement) or "kinky" (often a euphemism for being into abusing women during sex) and other behaviour that signifies they are pornsick misogynists. Ask them about porn use and how they feel about prostitution, but don't make it seem like a test, just as casual conversation, because if they think they're being tested they'll probably lie. One strategy is to act like you are open to porn and abusive sexual practices (like choking🤮) to see how they react.
You don't have to have sex with men you date, you can reserve it for those who are red flag free. I'm fact, holding off on sex is a good test. If they drop you because you want to wait until you know them well enough, they've failed.

Dating is a minefield and you need to have a lot of patience. I don't and I would find it exhausting, especially at my age, so I'm out of that. I get the impression you are much younger than me, so it does seem a shame to give up on finding love.

I know that men can and do see the whole person, but I actually want my body to be found attractive and sexy from the start.

You're right. I have always found that the worse of a person a man is, the more likely he is to be obsessed with big boobs. It is a good filter, though certainly not an infallible one.

The actual size is deceptive - a C cup on a 28 band is actually very small, it looks like a full A cup.

That is a male gaze problem. You need to free yourself from caring about what men think of women's bodies. Don't let the male gaze imprison you like this. If a man doesn't like your body he can fuck right off.

The opposite is true. A higher band size makes the breasts look smaller because there's less of a difference between your breasts and the size of your ribcage. Respectfully, your thinking on this seems distorted.

Woah. Sorry to hear about your insecurity. I can’t relate whatsoever as I’m an A cup and always have been and frankly have always loved it as I love fashion and I love how clothes hang on my body because of it. Men I’ve dated and my now husband have certainly never had an issue, rather the opposite — they’re elegant.

You make good points. I hope I didn't just respond to a fetishist who is getting off on this.

Thank you. Just going back to your earlier comment, where you say that, "men may prefer [big boobs] but most realise they might not get them", I know it's superficial but I still want a man I sleep with to be happy with my body. Is that really so bad?

You are right about the porn addicts. And Only Fans addicts (also porn basically).

I understand what you're saying but if you look at sister sizing, the actual C cup on a 28C bra is smaller than the C cup on a 32 or 34C bra....

Which bra size any woman needs also varies from brand to brand. The same woman can be a 26D in one brand, a 28C in another, a 30B in another, a 32A or even 32B in a different brand!

I definitely have what people would call 'small' boobs.