To not understand Dh’s problem with me working like this

[Beautymagazineswillonlymakeyoufeelfat]

I work part time around our Dd. She’s had some health issues and I need to be on standby and be flexible for any issues that may arise.
I work three evenings per week, two hours per evening…granted, not much..but the pay is the same (if not a tiny bit more) as I would get working say Mon-Fri- school hours.
I also do pretty much everything around the house. Weekends are free with nothing really to be done, Dh comes home to dinner and has not much to do, aside from washing up some days and putting Dd to bed some nights. I also do all bills, Drs, dentists, school things etc etc
I think I’ve arranged it well around my Dd, make good money, am pleased I can make the same in a short space of time as I would working every day and can have lots of time with Dd

Dh seems resentful

Aibu or doing something wrong?

I think he's envious that you work fewer hours than him. He probably thinks your life is easier than his, because like many men, if he was at home all day, he'd likely do much less than you, so sees it as 'doing nothing'. It's surprising how many people see their partner as a rival and play the my lifes harder than yours game in their head. Not sure what you can do about it really, because if you have a partner who wants your life to be as difficult as theirs (in their perception) your only route is to convince them it is, which isn't a very nice way to have to live.

You need to ask him not us. If communication is an issue then you can get a counsellor to assist. He may have access to one for free through work or health insurance if he works at a reasonable size company.
I notice it's an aibu, so no you're not unreasonable to not understand given that it sounds like you're guessing, and it is reasonable to make further efforts to communicate, otherwise whatever it is will fester until it becomes a wedge between you

She pretty much has sole responsibility for everything else

Have you tried talking to him?

I see both sides to this.

Being honest, how flexible do you actually need to be for your DD? As in, are we talking multiple appointments every month and lots of time of school, or one appointment and the odd phone call from school?

If it’s more like the latter, I can see why he’s resentful - you have a lot of free time to do whatever you fancy, while he works nine hours a day and then takes over in the evenings.

Only you know how much time your DD actually takes up though.

How are the finances balanced? Can you afford this lifestyle? It sounds like he wants you back full time to support (he’s at work full time so can see how resentment has crept in)

To me it sounds like jealousy. You have a job that clearly earns well for the few hours you do.
You also get to stay home..as others have said housework doesn't take all day, every day so I imagine he feels you have a lot of free time.
It's also vague how unwell your daughter is and how frequent she is at home or needing to go to appointments. If it's once a month then this probably feeds into his frustration, however if it is several times a week then you do have a lot on your plate, so more information is needed on this point.
I think you need to talk to him though to see what it is he is resentful about. Maybe he actually would prefer to be the parent that gets to go to medical appointments but feels being the dad he is overlooked. Maybe he realises you would earn more than him working full time - he might see this as something to switch so that you do this, or it might be affecting his own ego. Unless you actually talk to him you won't really know what it is that he is unhappy about.

Well if he resents you earning well and doing all home and child stuff just imagine how much he would hate coming home and cooking and parenting. He doesn’t sound very loving.

this

also this

Is it the actual difference in financial earnings he is bothered about eg he earns 90K, you earn 15K so he feels a bit trapped/feels he could do a bit more of the house stuff/go part time if you earnt more. My husband didn't think my kids needed as much hands on parenting as I did and it did cause friction.

It not clear what the problem is. You say you have the perception he isn’t happy with the few hours you work. What has he actually said about it? How does he express this dissatisfaction?

I would ask him straight up, if you worked 9-5 earning the same money, would he be happier? Bearing in mind he would have to take equal amounts of time off work as you to attend to DC needs?

I would ask him, don't try and guess. Just ask him straight out what his problem is...is he jealous, resentful that he thinks you could earn more?
If that is the case, ask him how he will cover DD if she is sick and you have to be at work as you would not be jeopardising your job for him.
Perhaps you are reading too much into it and like most men think that if you are at home you are doing nothing!

Loads of us have asked the same questions as your first paragraph. Op even gave a love reaction to my post where I asked these questions about how he shows his resentment as all she’s said is that he “seems” resentful. But she hasn’t answered anyone about this. Very strange.

He's jealous because he's working full time in a job with no flexibility whilst you're working very part time (6h a week term time only is nothing). Whichever way you look at it, you've got it much better than him, so he's jealous.

Love a vague thread in the morning me.

Have you actually spoken to your husband?

Omg just ask him! In a non-aggressive, understanding way. He might even say something like yes I admit it’s silly but I do feel jealous of your free time. Having that conversation may prompt him to examine his feelings and whether they’re rational or not. We can’t read his mind.

But I wouldn’t be giving up this dream set up just because he’s jealous, if it turns out that’s the reason

I think it’s all in the OP’s head.

She won’t answer any questions about what exactly he’s doing to show this apparent resentment.

Takes over in the evenings! 2 hours three times a week to parent his own child. my heart bleeds.
How many times do we see on mn fathers who don't do any childcare or cleaning because they have a big job and they are vilified rightly? This poor bugger has to do 6 hours a week.

The resentment shows in his whole manner, his constantly saying how hard his day was, how much he works etc etc (did exactly the same job before dd came along and when I worked full time)
This last year, Dd has barely been able to be at school, so I haven’t had free time during the day, the year before I worked two days in the daytime too, so had a little time at home, but made a good amount, the same as I would working full days

So true. My ex once announced that 'women only have kids so they don't have to work'.

This last year, Dd has barely been able to be at school,
He should not be resentful he should greatful that you are able to stay and look after your child. Who does he think is going to look after her when off school. No job is that flexible. I would call his bluff and say you will work full time and he can take care if her full time see what he thinks of that. It's as if he isn't even considering your child in this.

Sounds like he is spending more time out with friends per week than OP is spending working. I hope he sees that.

If it’s not time for himself, what is it?
I mean he is CHOOSING to see friends. He could decide to so end that time with the op (on the top of the weekends)

Have you had a proper chat with him about it? If he ia saying g his day was hard, does he hate his job etc? Would both of you doing part time be q possibility? Would swapping roles (you working full time, him being at home) be a possibility?