To not understand Dh’s problem with me working like this

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I work part time around our Dd. She’s had some health issues and I need to be on standby and be flexible for any issues that may arise.
I work three evenings per week, two hours per evening…granted, not much..but the pay is the same (if not a tiny bit more) as I would get working say Mon-Fri- school hours.
I also do pretty much everything around the house. Weekends are free with nothing really to be done, Dh comes home to dinner and has not much to do, aside from washing up some days and putting Dd to bed some nights. I also do all bills, Drs, dentists, school things etc etc
I think I’ve arranged it well around my Dd, make good money, am pleased I can make the same in a short space of time as I would working every day and can have lots of time with Dd

Dh seems resentful

Aibu or doing something wrong?

Is there an issue though?? You've only said your DH 'seems' resentful.

My friend works full time from home, nights. She does all the housework, admin, walks the dog, kids stuff, everything. How can men not feel bad about these situations?

Your DH sounds like he would never be happy, no matter what you do.

he's simply jealous. good for you being able to earn so much on 6hr per week (unless like others mentioned sex/drug related).
if he's that interested he could improve his work options and cut back his hours while maintaining his pay.
pathetic man he should be proud of all that you do.

He sounds like a lazy bastard. Maybe check to see if he has any actual reasons, or is just a lazy, selfish arse, like so many fathers.

Childcare? That’s called parenting. He’s a parent. “Childcare” does not just have to fall on the woman in a relationship. It’s for 6 hours. Total. Two hours a night, which op has already said they generally eat dinner together (which she has already cooked for them!), watch tv/walk dog and then it’s bed time. Should a father not do bedtime at least 3 nights a week? OP is doing the childcare most of the rest of the time, so he can work ft, which can be a lot with a child with health issues.

Unless he’d prefer to be the one having to leave work to look after their ill child and do all drs appointments etc instead, and then OP can go back to work full time instead. If she can earn just as much as if she only worked school hours why would she choose to do that if this is a better option? Again, one of them would still need to take time off for appointments or when their child was ill, (and we already know that would still fall to her), so it doesn’t even make sense for her to do those hours anyway. If he’s resentful that he has to do a bit of parenting to his own child then that’s an entirely different issue. Especially as he chooses to see his friends 3/4 evenings a week. It sounds like OP doesn’t get to socialise with her friends in the evenings, and if he’s whining about no “quality” time spent with her in the evenings because she’s working for a massive 2 hours then maybe he can cut back his socialising in the evening.

Like I said, if he has a problem with what OP is doing then there are other, more important issues going on in the relationship. I genuinely could not imagine any decent man resenting this at all.

Is it potentially your role he is jealous of? You get more time with your daughter., you get more time at home, you get to select your hours - maybe he wishes he had some of this and does not like being in a trad man role? It could be very clear how all this works best for your family, he might just not like the bit he has got.

Your DH has a sweet deal. He should be happy. You are doing nothing wrong. Don't leave your job.

He is envious of your easy life which is understandable.

What’s your role op? You say it can only be done in the evening. Is it something like OnlyFans and that’s why he resents it?

It’s quite restrictive for him if your tutoring mon tue wed
after Sunday night he’s ether working or stuck in at home till Thursday night

I can't believe the OP would choose to work on the evenings that her husband deigns to stay at home. Doesn't she know that the evenings he doesn't fancy going out should be for family time.

it isn’t financial as i’m making the same as I no would working school hours for example

The above doesn't make sense to me.

Is he feeling financial pressure?

This is my point, it seems a win win situation to me. I could work during the day, more hours for the same or slightly less pay

Why not still do the 6 hours evening work & do another different p/t day job?

This wouldn’t work for my DH and I either to be honest but that’s just our marriage. We enjoy our evenings together after work and if our jobs meant that we were basically handing a baton from one to the other and not spending time together then one of us would have a problem with it. This obviously depends on a whole lot of things, including your finances, the division of household duties, whether you enjoy your work etc.

Of course it’s time to himself. It’s leisure time (he’s not working, doing childcare or housework) and he’s choosing to spend it that way. What a weird comment.

You’re going to have to talk to him and see what he says, because this seems very reasonable. You are a SAHM and now you have a PT job that allows you to earn in a few hours what you would otherwise earn working far more hours. What’s not to like??

It’s not reflecting very well on your h.

What is your relationship usually like?

Why not just ask him?

Do the two of you not talk to each other?

He ‘seems’ resentful, but you don’t know why? Posters here ‘think’ he has a good deal? Just bloody speak to him!

Good grief the lengths people are going to msking out that OP is unreasonable for working 6 hours a week and dad being responsible for his own child

They could split up and he could get 50/50 imagine how much his head would explode being responsible during the day too

Ask him. He may be resentful you are not working more as another night a week would give the family a whole new lifestyle level, he may be annoyed you earn more, he may think childcare is a 'we omans job', he may just miss you. Only he knows.

Ok so to answer your question: you have to talk to home. He could be depressed, distracted, having something going on at work etc etc... a bunch of strangers cannot tell you what's going on in your husband's head.

It may well be that he just wants you at home in the evening to hang out with, which is fair enough, but selfish, so he can't quite admit it to himself yet. Or he may not understand how much more lucrative it is to work in the evenings: I'm freelance and it's a strange world, stuff that seems obvious to us I often have to explain to DH/friends. Tax on account wtaf. So have you actually talked to him??

Speaking of which... What is your job 😂 I'm so intrigued. I love being freelance but I get paid the same whatever time of day I do the work. Is it?

• photography (so evening events pay more than doing headshots?)
• some sort of engineering/tech support role where there's an on call rate?
• tutoring?
• music? Everyone loves a jazz singer but not at lunchtime (prob not paid hourly tho, and you don't need a degree)
• degree level dominatrix. Like you spank people if they get maths problems wrong (is this a thing?)

Go on tell us 😂 AI is changing my job and I'm a night owl, I need some inspo!

Is it that you only work 6 hours a week?

But you are working all day. Unpaid. Does he not realise that? If he resents washing up and childcare duties after work then he has to acknowledge that these activities are work too. And he's lucky to only have a few of them because you do most of them during the day and earn money at night. Explain if you worked day time, the same money would be coming in but he'd have 50% of all household and childcare chores which is way more than he does now.

You don't know the issue, all you do know is that he's choosing to go out every evening you aren't there. I presume he's having an affair and annoyed about not getting out to see her/ him on those days.

I do not believe in such a thing as a professional evening job that can't also be done in the daytime; even if money is slightly higher for unsocial hours it is not 5* higher for 2 hours in the evening. It obviously isn't tutoring, my friend gets lots of daytime work for home-school and PRU kids in the daytimes. Adult evening courses - again, training is just as well paid in the daytime. IT would be full overnight shifts, as wpuld duty solicitor etc. Marlet research, surveys etc pay the same whatever time they are done. So is this a new MLM selling tactic?