Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

I'm black and no, YNBU - the girl pushed in and the family tried their luck.

Course it is. Cheeky tuckers.

I'm black and yadnbu, this made me rage for you. Ignore it Op, some people have a chip on their shoulder and are entitled af. The violence is disgusting also. Hope you're okay.

You are 💯 not being unreasonable or racist. They were being complete twats

YABU for using the phrase race card.

You met some twats, they exist in all races.

Stop using the phrase “race card”. Racism is not a game and there are no cards to be “pulled.”

I accept that. What would be a better term to use for this situation? People say it’s not ok (& that why I put it in parentheses) - but not what is acceptable in its’ place!

I really don’t know. So much sensitivity around the topic and I would like to know how better to define it.

They pushed their luck and it backfired. I hate it when cheeky fuckers then “talk” as though to each other when they haven’t the front to say something directly. That applies to everyone.

Many many people do use it.

You’re assuming she meant colour, you don’t actually know.

Just because many people use the phrase it doesn't mean it's acceptable

And it is wrong to do so, and is used as a tool to minimise, or deny racism. Would Women be happy to be accused of pulling ' the sexist card' from Men, when calling out misogyny?

You misunderstand. I meant many people do use their race or pull the race card as the saying goes.

I would have told them to que up like the rest of us are.

This is rather goady OP, they didnt mention race but you jumped to that conclusion apparently. The assumptions are all yours so you might as well own it.

Own what?

What makes you think it was about race?

I “assume” as per original message. I don’t know what else it could be. She said you know why she wants to be in front of us (not you as in a teenager), then the other lady proceeded to push me when I hadn’t even communicated. Whatever the reason it was felt on a deeply personal level, and I can’t think of any other reason. Might you have a different idea?

Is there a better term one can use in its’ place? Genuine question.

I have no idea what it meant, no. I'd have asked/been very interested in their reasoning.
They were real out of order though and you have brilliant restraint.

The appropriate analogy here would be a woman claiming sexism when she was being justifiably pulled up for being in the wrong.

It happens. Twats exist in every group and sometimes pull whatever 'card' they can to excuse poor behaviour and claim victimhood.

Here's an example of a woman doing just that: BBC News - IT worker sues her boss believing 'xx' in email were kisses - BBC News
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-65632912?app-referrer=deep-link

Doesn't mean discrimination doesn't exist but cheeky fuckers also do.

I'd say it's very likely she was talking about race.

But I'd also say this is a very unusual situation as I don't know any non white parents who would think it was acceptable for their child to jump a queue, and then give them a talk about their race being the reason someone rightly protested.

That and the violent shove wasn't because they were of a different race, it was because they were complete dick heads.

I wouldn't pay it any more mind.

They sound awful!!

You did nothing wrong OP and I hope you’re ok as that incident would have shaken me as well.

There is no race card. YABVU to use this phrase and it makes me automatically think that you are in the wrong/have some form of unconscious or conscious bias because only a certain type of person uses this phrase. There are assholes in all the different demographics which exist. 🙄

Super massive cringe about their behaviour and lm mixed race