Was the ‘race card’ pulled??

[Glittercloud17]

So just got back from vacation. At the airport, my daughter and I were queuing for passport control when a girl/teen pushed past in front of us. 5 seconds later I heard a lady say to me “excuse me, we just want to join our niece” pointing to the girl who’d pushed in. Without focusing too much attention on her or the family, but seeing an additional 3 people (another teen and two women) I said “sorry, but that girl just shoved in, so maybe it’s better she joins you instead” (meaning the 1 girl who’d pushed in should join her family behind my daughter and I, and not the whole family move in front of my daughter and I.

The lady said “oh, I don’t think she pushed in, darling” in a clearly sarcastic tone, but I didn’t reply as the girl/teen then walked back to join her aunt behind us.

Then I heard the woman say to the girl “you know exactly why she thinks she needs to be in front of us, this is another example”. At this stage I assume she meant I felt entitled to say this because they were a family of colour! So instead of pulling up the teen for pushing past us, the adult put the responsibility of this situation on me, insinuating I was bullying them for racially motivated reasons!!

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family! Only that a person had pushed past my daughter and I and the family felt they then had a right to go in front.

Comments continued among the adults in the family to the teens around how this was another example why the teenagers had to be more assertive “in this world” and that I, “the lady” was in the wrong.

I didn’t react, or say anything as I didn’t want to escalate something that clearly wasn’t there, and continued to look in front (not in their direction) or be accused of anything especially in an airport with a flight to catch! Later after passport control, I was standing talking to my daughter when the other adult (who I hadn’t looked at previously) violently pushed into my back as they walked past. I was very shocked by this (again I brushed this off).

People who have genuinely experienced racism - was I unreasonable, and were they justified to jump to this conclusion? I understand there’s a long, complex history around race, but I am not aware, at least on a conscious level, of discriminating against anyone like this??

It is the race card. Speaking as someone who is mixed race.

@LadyKenyaas a feminist, I’ve absolutely no problem with the phrase “pulling the sexism card” being used if the allegations of sexism are completely unfounded, as the allegations of racism were in this situation.

From the situation the OP has described, a person pushed into a queue. OP and her family had an advantageous position ahead of her in the queue because OP had been waiting longer - not because they are white (I assume they are). Aye - jog on, Rosa Parks.

Unfounded accusations like this risk muddying the waters when actual situations of racism exist.

Some people use accusations of racism as a tool to try and avoid accountability and blame and deflect from issues. It’s not racist to recognise this. The term “race card” is a just a way of expressing this in two words rather than ten.

Presuming that non-white people don’t ever engage in this behaviour, are never manipulative, and are always right, is delusional.

Calling people who recognise such behaviour “racist” and seek to express it, is another example of massive overreach by the Left that perversely stokes racial tensions by denying people the ability to call out inappropriate accusations of racism.

what on earth have I just read!!! Absolutely nuts

There are white people who are unpleasant and try to gain an advantage any way they can by lying, gaslighting and manipulating.

Because we are all human and have similar traits, black and people of colour are no different. They can lie, gaslight and manipulate too, and aren’t above using false accusations of racism as a means to an end, especially when there are some on the Left who enable this by accusing anyone who does try and call such behaviour out as being “racist” themselves.

For years, an accusation of racism was one of the worst things you could be accused of… one step up from being accused of being a pedophile. Unfortunately, some people, mostly those on the Left, realised this and attempted to apply the term much more widely, in an attempt to browbeat people into accepting their leftist agenda. Now the term “racist” is becoming devalued as it more and more becomes a general term of abuse that’s used to shut down legitimate debate. It’s losing its real meaning sadly.

I don’t know what else it could be.

And that my lovely is racist or at the least unconscious bias x

What a so and so she was! On the ‘race card’ terminology I’m happy to be corrected but my understanding is the expression ‘pulling the race card’ does sort of denote a game as it’s like this senario when the supposed ‘victim’ blames the op for being racist in the queue when actually they were just being cheeky! So they were finding racism to make the op look bad where there was no racism whatsoever. Of course pulling the race card is not an appropriate term when actual racism is present.

Would you have used the word Race Card if the family had been say German OP? Agree they were rude and you were right in what you did but to use that term is unacceptable

Unfounded accusations like this risk muddying the waters when actual situations of racism exist.

Absolutely, but the bigger problem is there are some that say you can’t even suggest that there were unfounded accusations, and that if someone feels that certain behaviour is “racist”, it is, by definition “racist”, because racism centres on someone’s subjective perception, irrespective of the objective reality of the situation.

It’s the same philosophy that lies behind the trans-movement, and the hyper-individualist view that “my reality” is necessarily the only reality that matters. It’s crazy that the Left has embraced this solipsistic self-absorbed philosophy, when it also purports to be communitarian.

You did nothing wrong OP, they were just common ignorant bastards.

Well if the same implication was being made that the OP had reacted in the way she did because she was racist against Germans then presumably yes, but because Germans aren’t generally seen as a different “race” to ethnically English people then it would have been bizarre if someone had made that accusation.

It hadn’t even crossed my mind that they were black/white/asian whatever family

This strikes me as similar to “I don’t see colour”. I think we always see it, even if it doesn’t consciously register.

But even if she hadn’t pushed in (which she had!) it still wouldn’t be ok for a group of multiple people to join her? You don’t get to hold a space in a passport queue!

@GoodPudding is hitting the nail right on the head in this thread and saying what I want to about a million times more articulately.

YABU for using the phrase 'race card' as many pp have posted.

Read Akala, Natives for an excellent explanation of why it's so problematic and what you could use instead.

Of course pulling the race card is not an appropriate term when actual racism is present.

But the craziness of the Left is the belief that we must always accept that there is actual racism whenever there is an accusation of racism.

And to suggest that there may
not have been racism, or that the accusation of as false, is itself “racist”!

It’s madness… and thankfully people are calling it out more and more for being the utter gaslighting bullshit that it is.

You are missing my point the OP was saying the term race card because I’m presuming it was because the family were black she would not have used the term had the family been white. Maybe I shouldn’t have used German as an example I agree

Quite. Very early on in my teaching career I got into a situation with a teen who was black. That was an entirely irrelevant fact until I moved him to sit at the front because he was dicking about at the back. He complained I was picking on him "because he was black" and this was when "if someone perceives something as racist then it is". I had to fight hard and get union involvement to stop that being recorded on my work file as racist incident. No one on here is denying for a moment that racism exists but it can also be true that some people in any group will be arseholes and do as I and others have described. Women, teens, older people, disabled people..all absolutely in need of protection from discrimination but also possible for them to use their characteristic to try and gain and advantage. Both can be true.

You’ve jumped to that conclusion, which does actually imply a natural level of bias in your view (no, I’m not saying you’re racist!). I read it as the person saying you’re implying that because they’re a teenager they’ve obviously pushed in.

People from minoratised groups can wrongly perceive racial discrimination because of past experiences of actually being discriminated against.

Some people may use their status as belonging to a minoratised to try and gain advantage.

I think ‘the race card’ refers to the second scenario and whilst I don’t think it’s an inference that can be dismissed entirely, I think the first (thinking this way because past experience) is most likely.

The above applies to all minoratised groups, including women. In my working environment, I often attribute men talking over me, interrupting me, or discounting my contribution as arising from sexism. I expect that on many occasions this is what is happening. I expect on some, they are doing this for reasons that are unrelated to my sex.

Ideally, people should remain open to there being wide ranging reasons for the behaviour of others. In reality, humans are sensitive to patterns, and develop automatic responses based upon previous experience.

I don’t think this provides ‘an excuse’ or ‘defence’ for people getting it wrong, especially when they ‘call out’ discrimination as if it’s fact without evidence of this being the case. In today’s society, there can be very serious consequences for being on the receiving end of such accusations. I know that some people think this is a good thing for combatting discrimination, but I don’t. Fear of wrongful accusation brings about defensive reactions and entrenchment and gets in the way of reflection and learning. The same thing arises with generalisations about ‘privilege’ and ‘disadvantage’. Holding on to over-generalised and fixed ideas about who is advantaged and disadvantaged doesn’t help anyone.

Get a grip, it's been a widely accepted parlance for years.

Not everyone can keep up with you dear.

The OP has been told that some people no longer find it acceptable. Now it's up to her whether the word of some people on mumsnet policing her speech is enough to make her reconsider.

Saying she must be the one in the wrong or biased because you have presumed she is white is an excellent example of actual rascism, whereas the people in the airport were simply common or garden CFs.

Are you a POC?

Unfounded accusations like this risk muddying the waters when actual situations of racism exist.

OP’s accusation is also unfounded. None of us were there..

Being mixed race doesn’t make anyone an authority

They just sound like nasty people. If they were a similar type of person and were white they'd probably have said "She's a stuck up bitch/fat C who thinks she's better than us so needs to be in front of us." It's just an irrational logic that people like that would use

Asking people to read a whole book before they are permitted to express this phenomenon is completely unreasonable.

This attempt by the Left to excessively police language whenever someone attempts to discuss these things, and make people feel like they’re walking on egg-shells, worrying they’re going to tread on a metaphorical landmine at any moment, is authoritarian and controlling.

Let’s be honest here, the attempt by some to ban or shame the use of the term “race card”, with no attempt to provide a suitable alternative (and go away and read a book first isn’t an suitable alternative), is an attempt to suppress people’s ability to express their feelings in this area, all in the name of promoting a warped and distorted sense of racial justice that most people rightly reject.