Husband leaves 3yo son in bath for a few seconds

[OneWarmHazelQuail]

My husband will leave my 3yo son alone in the bath for under a minute to grab a flannel/towel, or run down stairs to grab a glass of water. It really bothers me and I have told him repeatedly that I think its unsafe and should never be done. AIBU?

Don't speak for me @Cogsworthy I would say the same if it was the mum leaving the kids in the bath. A bath could kill them. It's an unnecessary risk.

Wow. That’s impressively obtuse. If your daughter slipped and hit her head then she wouldn’t be simply sitting back up again at all. The thing every single parent of a drowned child has in common is thinking their child would be fine and would just get back up again.

For everyone trying to defend to say it’s low risk…. Why even take the risk there’s just no point 😂 it’s really Not that hard to get a Towel / drink / whatever it is first. It’s not like we’re saying something that is really really really difficult to do prior to getting in the bath. Or maybe engaging brain is hard for some people, not sure

Have you tried engaging yours?

But I know I’m intelligent 😂

As you as you think so then that's all that matters, I suppose.

Erm our 3 yr twins happily play alone for a while while I potter about upstairs putting washing away etc and they will say mummy we want out now when there done, don't think they even notice me peeking now and then checking there alright but there both very verbal so barely a seconds silence when they play. 4 year old also plays alone till he asks to be out and has done for a while. Aslong as in around upstairs I don't mind

The poll is nearly 50/50.

Success!!! Husband did not leave bathroonm tonight!

Even if I was at opposite end of the house I would hear a bang like that. Maybe you all live in castles, idk. There's nowhere in my house I couldn't be in the bathroom within 20 seconds. Unless of course I was no making a glass of water but was in fact watching TV in the living room or cleaning the kitchen with music on, which I'm willing to bet is actually what was going on in the extremely rare cases of children drowning in bath tubs.

Oh sweetheart, there might not even be a bang.

A kid knocks themselves out without a bang? Ok.

Well that’s not true is it as there are plenty of people on here saying they think it’s OK. The key thing is how both you and Dh feel when reading the use cases where something tragic has happened and whether that’s worth taking the risk. For me if one of you is not OK with it, then it shouldn’t be happening but if Dh doesn’t respect that, you may have to take over bath time, although from your later update it sounds like the thread may have swayed him and not necessary, hopefully that’s the case.

Yes.

Yes. Ask any paediatric nurse. They’ll be able to tell you. The fall can be silent. The drowning is so very often silent.

If a child slipped in the bath there wouldn’t necessarily be a loud bang as the water muffles the sound. So no, you wouldn’t necessarily hear it.

Children can slide under the water silently and lose consciousness very quickly, drowning is often completely silent.

Although it's horrible it might be a good idea for you to read up about the actual process, as you're imagining you would hear something but sadly that's not the case.

Again this is a huge misunderstanding of what happens.

A child (or adult actually) almost always panics if they inhale water, as it is instinctively terrifying to be unable to breathe, this panic interferes with the natural process of righting themselves.

Being able to lift up on dry land whilst breathing is irrelevant - drowning means the water has stopped them breathing.

I remember this case my own ds was a toddler at the time.

I've been googling and apart from the very sad case above, I can't find any news of healthy 3 yos left alone for a couple of minutes drowning. Nearly all the cases involve young babies, under 2, being left unattended for prolonged periods of time.

I’ll never be able to understand people who double down on things like this. Wouldn’t you say, ‘wow okay, I didn’t realise that, but now I know that children can slip in the bathtub and drown silently, good to know.’ Instead, some people would rather Google the deaths of children in order to try to point score on the internet? It’s absolutely wild!

I’ll never understand people who double down on things like this. Wouldn’t you say “wow okay, I didn’t realise that, but now I know that the risks of a three old drowning in the bath are lower than the risk of them being killed by bees or by lightning, good to know”. Instead, some people would rather continue to scaremonger on the internet and try to point score, as well as creating an entirely unnecessary rift in someone else’s marriage. It’s absolutely wild!

Yeh, crazy how when people make unsubstantiated claims on the internet I don't just accept them without looking into the evidence.

Great, I am pleased that you now realise drowning can take place silently and as such babies, infants and young children should never be left unattended when in or near water.

I think it's mostly about basic common sense.
When we become parents, most of us have this natural instinct to protect, along with basic common sense.
Sadly, some parents don't.