Page 5 | Husband leaves 3yo son in bath for a few seconds

OneWarmHazelQuail · 2025-07-31T19:43:03+00:00

My husband will leave my 3yo son alone in the bath for under a minute to grab a flannel/towel, or run down stairs to grab a glass of water. It really bothers me and I have told him repeatedly that I think its unsafe and should never be done. AIBU?

Lionness5 · 31/07/2025 22:43

OneWarmHazelQuail · 31/07/2025 22:30

Confessed to my husband about this post. He is grumbling that I have referred to a glass of water as he feels this sounds selfish - it would be a drink for my 3yo or something like that.

He says that the poll results would be invalid if I didn't correct this point...

God, how can you stand to be with something so thick. No one cares why he's leaving his child alone in a the bath. Just that he is. No reason is acceptable. Not even a drink for his child.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 31/07/2025 22:44

Mulledjuice · 31/07/2025 20:50

Ive been wondering this myself. Could DC right themselves if they slipped over and went under? Is it genuinely only a few seconds?

Not if they banged their head!

feathermucker · 31/07/2025 22:45

In an absolute unforeseen emergency, yes maybe. But for things that aren’t necessary like a glass of water or things he should have in there, no.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 31/07/2025 22:45

Why can’t he just ORGANISE himself beforehand? Towel, soap, toys, PJs?

LancashireButterPie · 31/07/2025 22:45

He needs to make sure he has everything to hand before the child gets in the water, it's really not hard.
Too many what ifs otherwise. What if dad gets distracted or falls down the stairs. Unlikely but potentially catastrophic.

DearHorse · 31/07/2025 22:45

It is best to supervise. I stepped out of the bathroom for only a few moments when my DC was 3, and when I came back, I watched her suddenly trip, fall into the water & manage to get herself back up. This only took a few seconds. She looked really startled

IOweMySanityToBasilParsley · 31/07/2025 22:47

BlueRin5eBrigade · 31/07/2025 20:55

Your H is a prat. My friend left his kid, of a similar age. to get a towel. The child drowned. He came back and found her face down in the water. He called 999 and they helped him do CPR until the ambulance came. Thankfully, the resuscitated her. They don't know what, if any, deficit she will have. They nearly lost her. For what? Piss poor organisation. Tell him to get his shit together.

This. Why can't he wait 5 minutes for a glass of water? Or drink from the bathroom tap if he's at deaths door 🙄

IOweMySanityToBasilParsley · 31/07/2025 22:51

Just read your update "you need a drink DC? Out of the bath you get". Not sure why there would be any other option

Laughandleaveit · 31/07/2025 22:52

Superstorefan123 · 31/07/2025 21:34

Genuine question - what is wrong with leaving for a few seconds (not trying to be inflammatory genuinely asking for myself!). Even if child slips under if it’s genuinely under 5 seconds eg grabbing a towel from hook, turning around to grab toy etc is there a drowning risk within 5 seconds?

Noted on risks re turning on the hot tap and getting scolded/potentially banging head.

Because they could also bang their heads and knock themselves out.

Maria1982 · 31/07/2025 22:53

I have a 3 year old. I would go to the room next door to get towel/pyjamas, with doors open so I can hear him. I would not go downstairs , that’s too long away from a child in the bath. Doesn’t matter who the glass of water is for / what the reason is.

also: I still bathe mine in a small tub inside the bath. If it was in a full bath… depends on the child /level of excitement (I’m assuming you have a non slip mat in the bath?).

Spookyspaghetti · 31/07/2025 22:54

BlueRin5eBrigade · 31/07/2025 20:55

Your H is a prat. My friend left his kid, of a similar age. to get a towel. The child drowned. He came back and found her face down in the water. He called 999 and they helped him do CPR until the ambulance came. Thankfully, the resuscitated her. They don't know what, if any, deficit she will have. They nearly lost her. For what? Piss poor organisation. Tell him to get his shit together.

That’s awful 😞

JustBalonz · 31/07/2025 22:56

Cogsworthy · 31/07/2025 21:37

Yes, because we’re not buying into the bizarre notion that everything that could ever possibly cause harm must be avoided.

My DN was four when he choked on a piece of cucumber and ended up in hospital. I don’t avoid cucumber, nor would any other sane parent.

I’ve known children die in car accidents when the driver was driving safely and they were strapped into car seats. We don’t avoid driving.

DH broke his wrist on a trampoline when he was a child. We still have one.

I’m allergic to penicillin. I don’t say my children can’t have it in case they have an allergic reaction and need hospital (or worse).

People own dogs, walk alongside (and, gasp, even cross) roads, eat all kinds of food (including junk food and sugar), we let them play with toys… all these things that can and do, very rarely, cause harm or death or injury. Yet all are completely normal and reasonable.

It’s not reasonable and proportionate to act like there being a very small risk of harm means it’s unsafe and shouldn’t be done.

Some of these posts are absurd. You can’t leave them to go downstairs in case you fall on the stairs and knock yourself unconscious but what if you slip on the wet bathroom floor and knock yourself unconscious? Is that better?

Show quote history

nobody is saying avoid cucumber, but if you were in another room “just for a minute” when your DS choked on that cucumber then you wouldn’t have a DS.

NellitheNelephant · 31/07/2025 22:58

dontcomeatme · 31/07/2025 20:45

I have multiple DC and unfortunately when I'm solo parenting this happens. I think 3 is a "safe enough" age. As long as the water isn't too high and he is only gone for a second or 2. Any child under 2/2.5 would be an instant no. Stay with them at all times x

Isn't it easier (and safer) to try to have everything you might need with you before you bathe them?

JustBalonz · 31/07/2025 23:01

I have been involved in several cases where toddlers/young children were left in the bath alone. In every case it was “just for a moment”. We were able to revive the most recent patient, but the two before that both died.

It doesn’t matter if it’s “just for a minute”. It doesn’t matter if they are singing to you so you can hear them. It doesn’t matter if your niece or previous DC were fine. It takes seconds for your child to drown. What could possibly be worth that risk?

Ooodelally · 31/07/2025 23:01

My God, how would he ever live with himself if something happened and to fetch a glass of water?! Seriously?!

verycloakanddaggers · 31/07/2025 23:02

Superstorefan123 · 31/07/2025 21:34

Genuine question - what is wrong with leaving for a few seconds (not trying to be inflammatory genuinely asking for myself!). Even if child slips under if it’s genuinely under 5 seconds eg grabbing a towel from hook, turning around to grab toy etc is there a drowning risk within 5 seconds?

Noted on risks re turning on the hot tap and getting scolded/potentially banging head.

Read up on dry drowning.

Ooodelally · 31/07/2025 23:03

OneWarmHazelQuail · 31/07/2025 22:30

Confessed to my husband about this post. He is grumbling that I have referred to a glass of water as he feels this sounds selfish - it would be a drink for my 3yo or something like that.

He says that the poll results would be invalid if I didn't correct this point...

He’s still an idiot. HTH.

youwillneverknow · 31/07/2025 23:03

Why does he think this is ok?! You don’t leave such a young child unsupervised in the bath. Ffs your husband is an irresponsible dick.

usedtobeaylis · 31/07/2025 23:03

I used to have my daughter in the bath while I pottered about upstairs, but it's quite small and I was only a few steps away at all times. The only reason I felt able to do that was because she was loud in the bath, constantly singing. I think at that age it's really a risk assessment and it depends on how you're still monitoring them. I don't think you can really monitor from another floor so I don't think you're unreasonable to not be happy with it. He should be taking that on board.

Wanderdust · 31/07/2025 23:04

Vintagefair · 31/07/2025 21:03

I have a friend who was left in the bath when she was nearly three. Her mum went to answer the phone (at a time when there were only landlines) and my friend turned on the hot tap.

She was able to stand up, but not get out of the water and as a result her feet were very badly scarred.

Drowning isn't the only risk.

This! I'm less worried about drowning and more aware of turning the hot tap on. Can't believe how many people think this is okay.

LogInOptions · 31/07/2025 23:04

Hard no. He can manage without a glass of water FFS. If he’s that desperate and will die of thrust he sticks his head under the tap.
Slowly goon f downstairs and getting a glass out and filling it and carefully walking back up is more than enough time for a fall or drowning or a burn from the hot tap.

nopity nope.

NellitheNelephant · 31/07/2025 23:05

OneWarmHazelQuail · 31/07/2025 22:30

Confessed to my husband about this post. He is grumbling that I have referred to a glass of water as he feels this sounds selfish - it would be a drink for my 3yo or something like that.

He says that the poll results would be invalid if I didn't correct this point...

Nope. We all still think that he shouldn't leave DC in the bath alone. Get the child out of the bath, dried and dressed then take them down for a drink.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 31/07/2025 23:08

I think 3 generally OK. I used to get DD (4 years older) to sit with DS occasionally and chat to him if I needed to quickly grab something.

tipsyraven · 31/07/2025 23:09

usedtobeaylis · 31/07/2025 23:03

I used to have my daughter in the bath while I pottered about upstairs, but it's quite small and I was only a few steps away at all times. The only reason I felt able to do that was because she was loud in the bath, constantly singing. I think at that age it's really a risk assessment and it depends on how you're still monitoring them. I don't think you can really monitor from another floor so I don't think you're unreasonable to not be happy with it. He should be taking that on board.

Did you read the post a few above yours?

verycloakanddaggers · 31/07/2025 23:10

OneWarmHazelQuail · 31/07/2025 22:30

Confessed to my husband about this post. He is grumbling that I have referred to a glass of water as he feels this sounds selfish - it would be a drink for my 3yo or something like that.

He says that the poll results would be invalid if I didn't correct this point...

Does he not understand it takes only a few seconds for a kid to end up in danger if they slide under?

You just have to watch them to make sure you can respond if anything happens.