Husband leaves 3yo son in bath for a few seconds

[OneWarmHazelQuail]

My husband will leave my 3yo son alone in the bath for under a minute to grab a flannel/towel, or run down stairs to grab a glass of water. It really bothers me and I have told him repeatedly that I think its unsafe and should never be done. AIBU?

What does he do when he's taking them out leave them on the drive while he starts running round grabbing a coat and shoes?

I wouldn't go downstairs but will go into the next room, leaving the doors open and chatting away to my DC. Shallow bath, and we have a temperature limiter on the mixer tap so there's no chance of scalding. Different houses have different setups too. In our old house, I was physically closer to my DC in the bath when I was across the hall in my bedroom than I am from the other side of the bathroom in the new house.

Downstairs is completely unacceptable.

Pottering around on the landing to grab a towel etc so they're never out of earshot is different and I think ok at 3.

Know your child! For some it’s fine for others it’s a no - my eldest has seizures so doesn’t bath alone ever, not even as an adult - showers are safer

My son is 9 nowadays doesn't need me and I've been pottering in and out of the bathroom for a few years. Always only a room away he is a noisy bather so I knew he was fine. He could bath mainly on his own at 6. I used to sit on the bed and tell him to wash his hair and body.😌

I am left alone to parent at bath time usually plus I have spend 7 years as a single parent. At 3 I have never filled the bath high either. Leaving them for 1 minute tops has been needed sometimes like grabbing a towel when bag was empty. Ask dad if he could prep so he doesn’t have to leave 3 year old alone at any point and mention it makes you anxious leaving the 3 year old alone at any point.

What the hell. That is so suspicious!

Follow your instincts, OP. I think 3 is too young for a child to be left alone in the bath. When ours (now young adults) were little, I think the received wisdom was not to leave children younger than age 5 unattended in the bath. And I agree with PPs, and knowing my own propensity to get distracted, what happens if the adult gets distracted or even has an accident and is unable to return? It’s too risky.

That article proves my point, did you not read it?

I said that not leaving the room in case you fall and knock yourself unconscious isn’t an appropriate assessment of risk because you could slip and knock yourself unconscious in the same room as your child. If you’re unconscious, it’s irrelevant whether your in the same room as your child or not.

You’ve tried to counter with an article about a woman who fell unconscious in the same room as her children and they drowned…

That proves my point. It’s no safer to be unconscious in the same room than in a different room.

those aren’t particularly high numbers it is true (relative to other risks), though we don’t know if that is because the risk of a child going under the water is inherently low or because people are usually supervising.- to be fair in threads like these you don’t that often hear people reporting that their child slipped under the water in the bath but they rescued them because they were sat next to the bath.

But it is such an easily avoidable thing (relative to things like choking or other accidents) so I still tend to side with the “not worth taking the risk” POV.

A few seconds to get a towel/flannel from a nearby cupboard in which you can still hear the child then maybe, but going downstairs to get a glass of water no - it can wait a few minutes till bath time is over. I’d leave a towel/flannel already in the bathroom if it’s a regular occurrence that he forgets.

Our neighbour wasn’t so lucky. I am in team stay in the room.

So shocked at the vote result. No way can he get downstairs get water and be back in under a minute. Not a chase in hell I'd leave a three year old. Stupid.

At 3 I'd be comfortable nipping into another room on the same floor, but I wouldn't go downstairs. Our house isn't big so from the bedrooms I can still hear them chatting and playing.

Confessed to my husband about this post. He is grumbling that I have referred to a glass of water as he feels this sounds selfish - it would be a drink for my 3yo or something like that.

He says that the poll results would be invalid if I didn't correct this point...

I have never thought about this. That might make me sound stupid. You are absolutely right - what if you break your leg and can’t get back to them. Scary stuff.

Sorry I’m a strong with you that this is unacceptable. I’d rather my dc be cold getting out the bath for two ticks while we dash next door to get a towel together post the bath rather than leave them unattended. Likewise get a glass of water after the bath 🙈 it’s just not worth the risk. What if he tripped down the stairs getting his glass of water or got distracted and one minute turns into 20

I’m embarrassed to say I hadn’t thought of this.

I sometimes duck out to get a towel and i have drilled it into my 3 year old’s head that she isn’t allowed to try to get out of the bath by herself in case she slips, but the hot tap is probably a more realistic risk for her.

I just think kids and water you have to be so careful. It literally takes seconds for something to go wrong. Not worth the risk.

I do this with my 3 year old, I will go grab a towel or get the 1yo out and dressed first which I’d do right outside the bathroom door. I can hear 3yo whole time. If he fell or put his face in he can get back up and if there was a bang or splash I would be right there and I speak to him the whole time. 1yo not even for a second to grab a towel and wouldn’t go downstairs while either was in.

How do you know that 40% is mothers?

Are you out the house when it’s bath time?

It’s fine. What do you think single parents do.

I wouldn't go downstairs but at 3 I would probably pop out for a few seconds to grab a towel.

What difference does being a single parent make?