Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

Your friends are dicks

Did you tell everyone at the reception?

If not, and the bride doesn’t care, you’re good.

Yes as long as you didn't stand up and announce it at the reception, it should.not be an issue.

We only knew my friendship group there and all knew after the proposal as I was excited and shared a photo with them. We didn’t go around shouting it at the reception!

Depends.

Did you getting engaged overshadow the actual wedding? IE did you start telling people at your friends actual wedding?

I'm totally and utterly agog at some of the bridezilla behaviour I read on here and I'm usually always on the opposite bridezilla side but there is something a little bit off about your partner proposing "at" someone else's destination wedding. Unless you were there independent of the bridal party?

I'm not explaining it very well but if you were at the resort as part of the bridal party on an extended stay with bride and groom then it just seems a little bit thoughtless? This is just my unmarried musing.

Depends how/when the news was shared

If you told people right away or at the wedding events, its lacking thought a bit and i can see why people might be a bit put out by it. If you waited until you were home to announce then I can't see a huge issue.

We were over there before the party arrived

Your "friends" are shit-stirring twats. Neither you or your fiance have done anything even slightly wrong.

You'll get a load of posters now telling you it was selfish and you've stolen the bride's thunder blah blah blah. Those people are as ridiculous as your friends.

Nor would it have been necessary to keep it a secret at the reception. This idea that nobody else is allowed to have good news at someone else's wedding is also ridiculous.

Tbh we had just got engaged before DBs wedding and we didn't announce it until after the wedding. Just to be sure we didn't steal anyone's thunder.

So long as you didn’t go around banging on about it, it’s fine.

In that case I can see absolutely no issue what so ever. No reason for anyone to be pissed off. And no reason for random friends to voice their negative opinion.

It’s a bit thunder-stealing, yes.

I mean it’s a lazy proposal but I don’t think it’s stolen anyone’s thunder .

Huh? Proposing on holiday is lazy? What does a proposal require for it not to be "lazy"?

Guess who I don't think you should invite to the wedding...

Definitely over reacting, it was before the wedding, independent of the wedding sounds like a lovely idea. Congratulations to you both. X

Ffs. Your mates are knobhead bellends. With any luck you’ll tell them so too.

This, how on earth could out shadow or 'thundersteal' of an actual wedding ?!

I think “could have overshadowed the wedding” is a bit much, but I’d privately think your partner is certainly lacking in imagination, if the best place and time he could come up with for a proposal is when you’re on holiday to attend someone else’s wedding. It’s quite lazy.

Oh fgs. Of course you haven't stolen anybody's thunder. Nobody has exclusive control over places/months/other people's relationships. Tell your 'friends' to stop being such dicks. Congratulations!

If the bride and groom are upset by it, I'd say their relationship/egos very fragile indeed

@DappledThingsis wasn’t just a holiday though . It was someone else’s wedding.
he literally put no thought into it other than cost cutting as their mates would be there so saves on a celebration.
as I said. A lazy even lacklustre proposal .

Yanbu.

We got married abroad and a couple who were over for our wedding got engaged the night before. We were just happy for them!

And of course it's not 'lazy' to propose on holiday in a nice place. It's not all about making stupid gestures for instagram and trying to be 'different' etc.

OP - please just be happy and ignore all the crap being spouted