Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

Not me!

Well I can tell you as a fact that absolutely no planning at all went into it so I assume you'd think it was the definition of lazy. I have been assured by DH on several occasions that it was completely spontaneous - the thought popped in his head and right out his mouth 😀

What rubbish!
The wedding hadn’t taken place, the friends/ guests weren’t even there, he was just in a lovely place with his love, and proposed. It wasn’t a lazy proposal. It wasn’t in front of wedding guests, it wasn’t during the wedding celebrations. It wasn’t remotely stealing any thunder. It would have to be a pretty crap wedding if this proposal was all people were talking about. And it does sound very weddingzilla if the only thing you’re allowed to do on the whole holiday is think about the wedding couple.

Honestly, I think even if he did it two weeks later while at home, it’d be met with the same criticism. “Why did he do it so close to our wedding?!” … “We’re still on our honeymoon.” People get quite silly about this imo.

@atamlinit is thunder stealing/ attention seeking though.
They didn’t wait till they got home to announce it.
They took the shine off the wedding.
made it about them.
How lovely of them to do that at someone else destination wedding.
very special moment for them .

Hmmm I’m kind of on the fence but can’t put my finger on why…

if it was done a week before the wedding, not announced on the day etc etc then technically nothing at all wrong with it, things don’t and shouldn’t go on hold for one couples’s wedding.
Having said that I can see why it being done AT the location you were visiting because of the wedding some how that feels a bit.. I don’t know, can’t put my finger on it…O guess you could say it feels a bit off even though the wedding couple would have no right to feel off about it..?

Having said all that though…your friends shouldn’t have said anything to you since it’s not your fault as it was your fiancés choice to propose to you then not yours and it’s not like you can go back in time and change it so they should have kept out of it!

How does someone els3getting engaged take the shine off a wedding? Totally bemused.

@cardibach it’s just my opinion.
i personally would not do it.
its just a bit attention grabbing.

It’s completely fine! Our best man asked his girlfriend (and my best friend) to marry him on our wedding day! We had left after the evening reception and he did it in private in the grounds of the reception place. We were delighted to hear the news when we got back. There’s so much fuss about weddings these days and the bride has to be the centre of attention for months on end it seems. Other people have lives they want to be getting on with too!

How?

Yabu.
You should have kept the news to yourself until after the wedding. You don't use a friend's wedding day to announce an engagement.
Thankfully he'd the sense not to ask you at the wedding venue.

The6 didn’t announce on the wedding day.

I am always astounded at the type of "friends" people on MN have. Honestly, while weddings are lovely for the couple and their families, they really aren't so important that everyone attending the wedding has to put their lives on hold and not do anything which might "overshadow" it. I wouldn't care if someone did announce their engagement at my wedding, which OP obviously didn't do.

Your friends are idiots OP. Ignore them and their seriously outdated views (and the same for the weird posters on here)

@cardibachwhat do you mean how?
the proposal itself is fine. The telling people before the ceremony is not.
everyone is there to celebrate the wedding couple, they even travelled for the wedding.
no one was there to feign excitement for an engagement announcement that could have waited till they got home.
if the ops friends think it was off to do it then my random opinion is just matching theirs

I would love it if someone else got engaged at my wedding.
But then I’m not a self centred egocentric twat.

I'm sure it was the first time hearing the news for many guests.

Congratulations op. Ignore all the nutters who think you've somehow done something wrong. It's not like your partner proposed at the reception in front of everyone.
I didn't even get a proposal. My sister announced she was getting married and my mum asked when we were going to get married, my dp just said "shall we have a double wedding" so that's what we did.

@Tumblingthrough I’ve never felt the need to get married but I’ve also never been to a wedding that someone has highjacked for their own announcement

Nor have any of the guests at the wedding in question

@DappledThings I never said it had.
i was replying to the comment about someone not minding if a proposal happened during the wedding

Why did anybody even need to know. You were out of order IMHO.

This is bizarre. Weddings don’t exist in a vacuum where life doesn’t carry on around it!
a real friend should be overjoyed to hear their friend is engaged…!!

I mean how is it attention grabbing? Can people only give attention to one thing in a day? Can’t people say ‘congrats’ one day and then another day, the next week, focus on a wedding? Weird if not.

Evidence that they told any guest on the day?
They told friends when it happened. That’s all.
And if it did get out at the wedding, so what? What earthly difference could it make to anything?

And nobody highjacked this one or announced anything.