Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

I think you’ve got confused. The Op was the one who was proposed to before her friends wedding. She’s not sulking.

As it happens no one sulked at mine either 🙂. Our demographic was older/wealthier though so leave and budget not so much a factor. Plus it was easily done Sat morning to Sunday for the one guest that needed to be elsewhere Sunday night.

No I wasn’t confused and I wasn’t saying that the OP was sulking. But I’m sorry that I seem to have confused you. I was speaking generally about those bride and grooms who expect their guests to focus on them throughout the whole holiday and not do anything to take the slightest focus off the wedding. As in the bridezilla types that sulk… But well done for having older and wealthier guests who didn’t have to make any sacrifices to get to your destination wedding.

Sorry, that sounded a bit bitchy and shouldn’t have.

When I first saw this post I thought there would be lots of reassurance for the OP and I’m really boggled by the number of people who seem so fixated on this strange idea of the engagement a week before somehow spoiling the wedding.

I wonder if there’s an age thing here? I notice a lot of posters (like myself) from old and happy marriages saying a ring wasn’t necessary (yes we chose one after the proposal and I’m so glad I got to do that as it was another really special day) and also saying it wasn’t an orchestrated occasion (again, mine was a lovely surprise but no choirs or flowers!).

Have people had changed expectations from social media I wonder? I’ve seen lots of staged ones online, some of which are really cute, but they become hard to emulate in the end and perhaps it gets harder to be ‘original’? Amazing to have people so rude about a more simple proposal, or think that it shows a lack of care: I’m stunned by the’ rules’ one poster came up with about birthday or Christmas proposals being’ lazy’! Ironically there was a bit of an online fashion for the bride throwing her bouquet and the bridesmaid catching it being proposed to on the spot which must have had the bride in on the plan but presumably would have had a few posters here in hysterics!

I would have thought being proposed to on holiday was a lovely thing… you’re both relaxed with time afterwards to celebrate and not go straight back to work. For any generous friend it wouldn’t affect their wedding at all except to be glad for you and happy that ‘love is in the air!’ But you know your bride friend best… if she’s like the posters who are horrified though I guess you would have had plenty of signs before now and would have been far too terrified to mention your engagement!!!

No worries, I just get fed up
of the assumptions about destination weddings.

TBF I also made assumptions about this scenario. I still think theres a difference between a spontaneous proposal when catching the bouquet and one where you get carried away by the location and wedding vibe.

@cunningartificer The problem with Christmas or Birthday proposals are that it potentially puts more pressure on someone to say yes. Who wants to spoil the day by saying no.