Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

Couldn’t agree more- my friend told me and our friendship group she was pregnant with her first child at my wedding. was lovely news to share and added to the day- it didn’t detract from it or steal my thunder! ( she had to tell us because she wasn’t drinking).

note I use the word ‘told’ not ‘announce’. People are just sharing their news. I don’t understand why people feel like everything that happens to them needs to be treated like a PR event

My friend got engaged the night before my wedding, at the destination. I felt moderately miffed for about an hour and then got over it. You’ve done nothing wrong.

You made a decision, during your holiday,as a couple, that you would like to get married. You could have made the decision at any time.

Unless you made a song and dance about it during the wedding service or reception, it's nobody else's business when you got engaged.

I struggle to get my head around this behaviour. It's possible to celebrate someone's marriage with them while also, perfectly reasonably, thinking about other topics/people during the day or days of the wedding.

Your 'friends' are being utterly ridiculous and really need to get a grip.

But he wasn't. I don't think being on holiday prior to someone's wedding means everything that happens at that holiday is connected to the wedding or how on earth he's piggy-backing on anything. What if they were on holiday at the same time but an hour away in a different hotel and moving to the wedding location a few days later but still on the same holiday? Would that count as not being lacklustre? It makes no sense to see it as unoriginal just because there was another wedding happening soon.

Anyway, OP doesn't seem to have this weird attitude so it's all good.

You stole their thunder, I’m not surprised there’s been comments.

Why ? It happened before the wedding party arrived.

I wouldn't have said anything until the wedding was over and everyone was back home. You were there to celebrate their wedding after all.

How the fuck did he overshadow the wedding? He didn’t propose during the wedding, why is up to everyone when he proposed?

Congratulations on your engagement 🥂

op called it a “pre-wedding holiday” so surely the emphasis should be on the couple getting married.

Surely his thought was he wanted OP to marry him so he proposed to her? Isn't wanting someone to marry you meaningful enough?

Proposing isn't original : its a tradition.

A close relation announced her pregnancy the day before my wedding. Miffed for five minutes then got over it.

Not at all - we don’t actively use it, infact DP doesn’t even have an account and my last photo uploaded was two years ago!

I think you could have waited til about a week or two after the wedding to tell people. As has been said, it seems a bit thunder-stealing. JMO.

Oh come on, like no one is going to mention it?

It’s on the same holiday as the wedding, whether everyone had arrived yet or not. It’s the first thing they’ll hear when they do arrive and people will be interested in it/talking about it throughout

Unless you pushed the bride over so you could walk down the aisle and announce it then I think it’s fine

This.

Congratulations OP!

Nobody needed to know. You booked a week in advance. Should kept it private if you were that concerned LOL

This is the only acceptable answer here. Nobody’s going to upstage a bride on her wedding day, she is the centre of attention and the day revolves round her and her groom.

This is such bollocks. Proposing, in its very nature, isn't original. What would you deem 'meaningful' and 'original'? Naked on top of Mount Everest? A message in a bottle arriving thirty years after it was launched on Blackpool beach? Whilst scuba diving with elephants in Shangrila?

I announced my daughter's engagement during my wedding speech! Shed got engaged 10 days before...I was so delighted. It got a good clap and cheer and certainly didn't ruin the day. Just made it happier. Friend of my husband got engaged at his first wedding. He and his wife were at our wedding. It's what you make it.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupiejust something that someone had put thought into.
not just sticking a ring in a bag and jumping on a plane to a mates wedding and proposing during their planned celebrations.
its just lazy… as are Christmas Day proposals

How on earth could two people deciding they are going to get married even remotely overshadow or steal the thunder of a couple actually getting married?

Unless you grabbed the mic in the middle of the vows and said you had something more important that everyone needed to know about.

People get engaged all the time, particularly at certain age points. It almost seems contagious. Friends need to get their heads out their arses.

But those people have probably put months even years of planning into their wedding to make it into the perfect event FOR THEM. To have that hijacked by someone else is really poor behaviour.

Remind me not to mention my engagement or marriage anywhere in the vicinity of @sciaticafanatica.

Fair enough. My train of thought was if you’d got engaged and stuck it all over socials as the bridal party were leaving for the destination wedding, it might have raised a few eyebrows. Not mine; I’m pretty chilled about things like this, but I suppose I could see how the more tightly wound might.