Backlash after DP proposed on pre-Wedding holiday

[Westendgoer]

I got engaged last month - DP proposed whilst we were on holiday prior to my friends Wedding. The holiday was in the same resort, but we went over a week before the wedding date as it was somewhere we’d always wanted to visit so made sense to combine the two.

I have had comments made by a couple of friends - not the bride - that this was a bit out of order and could have over shadowed the Wedding. I haven’t relayed to my DP, I don’t want it to taint the experience and personally I don’t see the issue with him proposing in the circumstances.

Do you agree with me that my friends have overreacted?

Your friends are batshit (I find I’m using that word an awful lot on Mumsnet these days!). My husband proposed to me in exactly the same way - holiday before a friend’s destination wedding. The happy couple even raised a toast to congratulate us at the reception. Almost twenty years later we are and the wedding couple are still together, and we’re all still great friends. May the same be true for you.

It wasn't highjacked in the least. Preposterous.

I wouldn’t have given a damn if not announced mid ceremony or during speeches. Not many people can afford a second holiday when already going abroad for a wedding, if your DP wanted to propose somewhere abroad. They are shitstirrers. Try not to overthink this. Congratulations.

Why does a proposal need to be all creative and original? If someone loves you and wants to marry you, a proposal over the washing up is fine, never mind on holiday.

Why does everything have to be original? They were at a place they wanted to visit and took the opportunity. If you want everything to be Instagram perfect, life is going to be very disappointing for you.

Well good grief you'd be horrified by my proposal !! Then boyfriend now dh came out the shower and said "how would you like to get engaged? " I was utterly taken aback and said "do you mean that" - he said yes and so did I - that was 35 years ago.

@Jaichangecentfoisdenomi imagine you are very pleased with both of those occasions.
so much so that you didn’t feel need to ask on a online platform for opinions that no one has to listen to or take to heart.
its just an opinion.

We will have to agree to massively disagree.

I think you should have kept it private until you were back home.

Weddings are very emotive events and they are truly about the bride (in the main)

You clearly haven’t done it out of malice and simply have been thoughtless

@Timetodownsizewhy would I be horrified that your boyfriend didn’t use someone else’s occasion to propose to you.?

I wouldn't call it thunder stealing but I still wouldn't like it. I definitely would have kept it under my hat till I got home. I would have felt uncomfortable even announcing it to the bridal party as most people I know think unfavourably of doing this.

Good lord. It’s fine, and congratulations! They’re “overshadowing” your engagement with their stupid opinions. They need to wind their necks in.

More bollocks.

Of course he didn't hijack their plans. They don't own that specific part of the world, just because they are getting married there.

@Confabulationsthey were their for someone else wedding… that’s just lazy

He didn't! You're not going to convince a lot of us that he did. Unless he actually proposed, publicly, during the reception itself, he wasn't using another else's occasion.

My engagement consisted of now DH rolling over after sex and saying hey, shall we get married followed by me saying yes. No big fuss, no photos of rings (didn't even have one), no choreography etc. 22 years later, and no regrets.

We were on holiday at the time. Can't decide if that makes it lazy and unoriginal now. 🤷‍♀️🤣

Christ on a bike, there are some miserable tossers here. My DH proposed very drunkenly in a solicitor’s doorway. This seems thought out and a lovely memory for you both. Lazy? Words fail me.

I think people who care about things like this have self esteem issues or they don’t have real problems in their lives and are bored

That made me laugh out loud! Exactly right.

Op, if they announce a pregnancy in the next few months or so, say they’re overshadowing your engagement. 🙄

They flew early to have their own holiday. Not everyone has the luxury of having multiple glamorous venues for getting engaged. Nor is it necessary. You are not going to persuade me that this engagement in any way, shape or form impacted on the wedding.

PS it's there, not their you were looking for.

@Westendgoer And didn't you create a thread about this last month? A day or two after the proposal?

That’s exactly my point.

Of all of the 365 days of the year he could have chosen, of all the places across the world he could have chosen, he chose the few days leading up to their friends wedding, on a holiday they were on to attend their friends wedding. How lazy.

A proposal over the washing up would have been preferable for me in this case, and if I were the OP, personally I’d have kept the engagement quiet until everyone was back home.

For those saying it is thunder stealing, how?! They are on their own holiday, having a wedding doesn’t mean those planning to propose should wait for two weeks after the wedding to do so. It’s very controlling.

@Confabulations I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything.
its just an opinion.