Wrong Underwear - I am Ungrateful

[FurlaMetropolis]

DH loves buying mew underwear for Christmas and birthday, used to be a mix of Janet Reger and Ted Bker from Debenhams and best of M&S, now mainly Rosie from M&S and occasionally Autograph. For some weird reason, MIL does the same, which is weird and uncomfortable but that’s another story.

I guess he enjoys a bit of online browsing:-)

But now that I am in mid 40s, it’s not just about how it looks on a model, it has to work for me. My minimum requirements are very simple - padded, wired, not balcony, correct size. He manages to get all of it wrong and gets resentful if I ask if he has a receipt. I feel ungrateful and fussy.

Putting laundry away now, 3 packets in the wardrobe, expensive stuff, none of it is right. The bags only just been opened by him, sat in wardrobe for weeks, the return window will have passed my birthday. It’s over £100 of really nice sets. I feel like crying partly because greedily I feel robbed of birthday presents, partly frustrated by the repeat of Christmas and last year’s birthday. I almost don’t want to say anything as he will only get annoyed and does not listen anyway. No doubt MIL will bring more if the same…

If it’s still in the bags, can you take it back to M&S and at least exchange it for the right size before your birthday?

When a man buys you underwear its not a gift for you, its a gift for him.

The OP is a very clear example of this in action.

Ergh what Bizarre non presents

Vinted or charity shop.

Ask for gift receipts for everything going forward.

Also to reassure you of how nuts this is. Most people dont even buy each other clothes let alone underwear during to variations in fit.

I dont correctly fit all styles in my size at one retailer let alone a range of them and a bad fitting bra os horrendous.

"He will only get annoyed and does not listen"
Huge red flags. You have a problem here, and it's not with the ludicrous underwear "gifts".
They're a symptom.
Some serious conversations need to happen. He doesn't respect you and you have no agency in this. Awful.

I'd pre-empt it now.... act as if you don't know it's there and politely ask that he doesn't buy you underwear as your body is changing and it's soooo difficult to get the right fit, but could you please have x, y and/or z instead.

How can he refuse?! Hopefully he'll send all the bloody underwear back.

Isn't it just.

Buy him an extra small pair of underpants from M & S and an extra large. Give for B/day or Xmas as appropriate.

This is just weird. How much underwear do you need?? Tell him thats enough now and you will buy your own, once you’ve worn out the mountain you must already own.

Buy him trousers for his next gift three sizes too small and then get annoyed at him if he complains.

Just tell them, very clearly and directly, that you do not wish to receive any more gifts of underwear!

If your birthday is approaching, say to your DH and MIL, "oh, by the way, please don't give me underwear for my birthday any more. I'd much rather choose my own."

Just explain our bodies change and it will be easier for you to buy underwear and he can start buying other nice gifts.
It was only this morning I threw out a lot of old underwear which 5 years ago I would have happily worn, but my body and underwear preference has changed and now I buy a different style. (I definitely went for bigger knickers after having children 🤣)

When your mother in law buys you.undies it's even weirder!

Too true. That is very odd.

Would you still feel sexy if you were a top-heavy size 14 and he had bought you a 32A bra and size 8 thong? Because that seems to be what her DH (and MIL!!) are doing.

This

Re the MiL underwear situation... There's a place you can order socks and underpants that come covered in the face of a photo you've uploaded.

I'd order a pair of boxers for him, with his mother's face on. And I'd buy a pair of knickers for her with his face on.. I'd leave them wrapped up on the kitchen table for them with a note saying I've gone to stay at my mothers.

😂😂the best solution so far!

She doesn't want to say anything because he may be annoyed?

Is this another made up post? There seems to be so many lately.

I think what LoveHearts69 said is the best idea.

I do think you should be able to tell your own DH that something doesn’t fit without him getting in a huff. If it’s all about him trying to get you something ‘sexy’ then he needs to get a bit more imaginative. It’s also a kind of thoughtless present in a way because it’s not really trying to give you something you’d like or trying to understand who you are beyond a woman that wears underwear. Very odd that his DM buys you underwear too! I’d just tell him or, as some have suggested, get him some ‘sexy’ underpants (something really tight and maybe with a tiger pattern on it or sequins)…

My husband would be pissed off if he bought me something that I couldn’t use, he’d much rather I have something that’s right for me regardless of what it is. If he got me something that didn’t fit he’d want to exchange for something that did. I think the issue here is your husband doesn’t care enough to ensure it’s something that will fit you & doesn’t care if you’re happy with it. It seems a very weird situation where he’s more bothered about himself, meeting his own wants & needs & getting offended over nothing

I wish we still had the laugh emoji! OP, please do this

I think you're unreasonable to accept gift underwear that doesn't even fit you from your husband and MIL (how freaking weird - eww). Tell them to stop as the stuff never fits and it's a big waste of money that could be better used buying something you might actually like.

If they take offense, tough. Do they expect you to wear ill fitting, uncomfortable underwear? If so, this is about their egos, not your birthday.

Buy him the wrong size/type of underwear for his birthday and Christmas every single year.

Or tell him your not buying for each other any more.

A man buying you underwear isn’t for you it’s for him. It’s also not hard to get the right size, he’s just lazy. Wanting pants that fit is normal, you are not being ungrateful!