Wrong Underwear - I am Ungrateful

[FurlaMetropolis]

DH loves buying mew underwear for Christmas and birthday, used to be a mix of Janet Reger and Ted Bker from Debenhams and best of M&S, now mainly Rosie from M&S and occasionally Autograph. For some weird reason, MIL does the same, which is weird and uncomfortable but that’s another story.

I guess he enjoys a bit of online browsing:-)

But now that I am in mid 40s, it’s not just about how it looks on a model, it has to work for me. My minimum requirements are very simple - padded, wired, not balcony, correct size. He manages to get all of it wrong and gets resentful if I ask if he has a receipt. I feel ungrateful and fussy.

Putting laundry away now, 3 packets in the wardrobe, expensive stuff, none of it is right. The bags only just been opened by him, sat in wardrobe for weeks, the return window will have passed my birthday. It’s over £100 of really nice sets. I feel like crying partly because greedily I feel robbed of birthday presents, partly frustrated by the repeat of Christmas and last year’s birthday. I almost don’t want to say anything as he will only get annoyed and does not listen anyway. No doubt MIL will bring more if the same…

This. Buy the wrong type the wrong size either far too big or far too small. That is his birthday present, don't be tempted to top up with other stuff if he only gets you underwear for your birthday
Then when he complains, say maybe we should stick to buying our own underwear in future, we seem to be unable to get the right ones for one another

My dh wouldn't have a clue if I say i could do with some new underwear he will ask if I want them as a gift and will pay. Not that I ever want underwear as a gift.
He did once see some provocative pants in a shop and had this weird/creepy look on his face and said "ooh they look nice" I just told him i would try not to laugh when he wore them.
I think you will have to tell him and his mum to stop wasting their money, if they get upset tough shit. No one seems to mind upsetting you.

If he wears boxers, buy him briefs or slips in the wrong size

And tell him that the wrong size bra can damage your breasts

If he won’t listen to specific requirements (which is pathetic), would he listen if you made it really simple for him and told him that he can only buy from M&S? At least that way, you could exchange, assuming they still have a good returns policy.

You shouldn’t have to plan a journey to the shops to exchange your own presents, but it’s less inconvenient than divorce.

Out of interest, what kind of things do you buy him for bday/xmas?

I totally get you OP. FWIW my underwear looks very unsexy as it is mostly M & S shapewear but it holds my tummy in and makes my clothes look good.

If dh wanted to treat me to lovely underwear I would ask him for a visit to somewhere like Rigby and Peller where the bras are £££ but goodness do they get the ft right as well as them being beautiful. Could you suggest something like that.

Did you like them when you were younger?

Hide it so he rips the house apart.

Tell him if he or his mother buy you any more underwear then you're sacking off gifts completely.

What a horrible, horrible present.

Nothing anyone can say really if you won't tell him not to buy them anymore, and tell him to stop being a sulky jerk.
Personally, I'd take them and exchange them from something I wanted and shove them right back where they were. You don't usually need a receipt for exchanges.

Oh and tell you mil to stop buying you pants thanks as you prefer to choose them yourself. It's weird.

@FurlaMetropolis why is he buying you any underwear at all??? is he the kind of man that actually buys from ann summers just because he likes it?? as for mil buying it too???? that is very personal!

Tell him that you’ve decided to quit wearing underwear so you’ve no need for any new items of it. Tell MIL that you’ve decided to free-flap and free the nipple from now on so you don’t want new underwear. Enjoy the shocked looks on their faces.

Seriously though I’d tell them both to stop buying it and let DH have his man-trum.

Hmm are you sure he isn’t sending Mil out to buy them and that’s why they are wrong and out of returns window?

This is clueless snd inconsiderate. The underwear is a gift for him.and not you.

Go to M&S (or wherever you would chose for yourself ) and buy a couple of things you need. Comfortable stuff that fits well, not fancy cheese wire knickers.

Then tell DH you don't need undies this year as you've sorted through your old stuff and replaced it with new.

Do it soon, so he's still in the "window" for returns if pos

Good luck, @FurlaMetropolis my DH wouldn't have a clue what to buy, thankfully - even though I still buy his boxers.

Make sure they are particularly uncomfortable too!

Start buying him microscopic budgie smugglers or a Borat style mankini.

That's a great idea - eBay is far better to sell on though.

Does it fit him?

This is so icky. I've never actually understood the man-buys-underwear-for-women thing - it certainly doesn't feel like a treat for a woman - but putting that aside, any gift he buys you that doesn't fit or suit you, whether that's a bra, a new coat or a pair of shoes, is one that he should WANT you to exchange for one that does fit.

So his bad mood about this, combined with the weirdness of your MIL buying you underwear, makes me think that there is something far more serious going on here.

I'd buy him some horrible fishnet boxers in the most uncomfortable size for his birthday (or just announce you got him a special gift), and see how he feels when he's not getting anything else. Make your mum buy him the same in a different colour.

Edit: obviously throw a hissy fit when he asks for the receipt

Shuddering at the thought of my MIL buying my underwear

It’s not a thoughtful gift, if no thought has gone into selecting items that will fit / or making provisions to return & replace items that do not.
Why bother at all if you don’t care whether the gift is useful to the recipient.

Tough shit to him getting annoyed about it. It's not your fault he doesn't care enough to get you the right size and style. Guarantee your being comfortable wasn't even on the list of why he got the underwear. Tell him to stop buying your underwear, you'd rather just do it yourself so you at least know you'll have the right stuff. Oh and tell him sulking because he got it completely wrong isn't attractive at all🙄

DH said that his plums would look like satsumas in that!
🤣