Wrong Underwear - I am Ungrateful

[FurlaMetropolis]

DH loves buying mew underwear for Christmas and birthday, used to be a mix of Janet Reger and Ted Bker from Debenhams and best of M&S, now mainly Rosie from M&S and occasionally Autograph. For some weird reason, MIL does the same, which is weird and uncomfortable but that’s another story.

I guess he enjoys a bit of online browsing:-)

But now that I am in mid 40s, it’s not just about how it looks on a model, it has to work for me. My minimum requirements are very simple - padded, wired, not balcony, correct size. He manages to get all of it wrong and gets resentful if I ask if he has a receipt. I feel ungrateful and fussy.

Putting laundry away now, 3 packets in the wardrobe, expensive stuff, none of it is right. The bags only just been opened by him, sat in wardrobe for weeks, the return window will have passed my birthday. It’s over £100 of really nice sets. I feel like crying partly because greedily I feel robbed of birthday presents, partly frustrated by the repeat of Christmas and last year’s birthday. I almost don’t want to say anything as he will only get annoyed and does not listen anyway. No doubt MIL will bring more if the same…

So frustrating that he's not listening to your requests on how YOU like it over what looks good on the model. It's all designed to look good on the model.

I had a guy who used to buy me really expensive underwear but I would forever feel guilty because it was always the wrong size. Turned out he liked it a few sizes too small for that "double busting" look!! I couldn't breathe but that didn't matter because it was for him really.

Sell them on Vinted if they are still in the packaging. Use the money to buy something you actually want. Make a point of telling him how much they sold for on Vinted so that he knows that by not dealing with exchanges/returns or giving you the receipt, his gift was worth considerably less.

Buy him some really garbage posing pouches from Ann Summers for his birthdays and Christmases... keep doing so until he gets the message.

My exH and I didn’t live together. He sent me flowers almost weekly. I really don’t like cut flowers 🤦🏼‍♀️ it took me years…literally years to finally tell him. But the relief of not having something dying in a vase … cut down in their prime for my ‘enjoyment’ was worth it. I understand how hard it is to appear ungrateful for a gift. Especially when they enjoy the giving …

Kindly, OP, this.

Happy underwear shopping!!

You have to tackle this, buying underwear is complex -you can't let it go just because he likes an excuse to trawl online, it's tricky because you have obviously let it go for years, but you have to tackle it because it is wasting lots of money and depriving you of birthday present- where the MIL is concerned just put your foot down and say no more underwear (this is probably also fuelled by and selected by DH) it needs to be stopped, now. Put the sets that are unreturnable on Vinted tell him that is what you have had to do.
You are lucky it used to look like it did on the model on you- for most women this is not true -ever. You have to bite the bullet and tell him straight, also now you are in your mid 40's you really need to be spending more on supportive bras as the ones in M&S have never been particularly good.

My husband always bought me g string bits and bobs,then moaned I didn't wear them.I had a drawer full,then after 10 yrs of marriage I found a male equivalent..made him wear it for 20 of the longest minutes of his life,,his words..then he understood..

Does yor DH wear underwear with flies? If so, for his next birthday buy him some ( expensive?) posing pouches or throng type mens' stuff and see if he'll be grateful and wear them. Maybe the wrong size as well? My DH hates underpants with no flies as they make 'getting it out' difficult 🤣.

Love it.

It's a shame mumsnet got rid of the laugh emoji.

The OP hasn't been back dudes.

How many people have shared underwear stories though?

Why not send him a link to what you like

I'd bin them and say nothing. He'll think he hit them somewhere else and deny all knowledge of having seen them.

Hmm, that's what I thought...

Maybe I'm just over suspicious?

It’s either speak up about things not fitting as well as they used to - and explain you now need to buy underwear for yourself - or put up with it.

You haven’t been back but as per PP wondered if MIL is buying on his suggestion. The above goes for him or you having the same above conversation with MIL.

Can you make an alternate category suggestion or request vouchers?

If you have had a proper conversation and he won’t listen you have bigger problems.