This was rude right? No thank you

[Theteenandme]

I took my son and his friend (both 13) on a day trip. My treat so they paid nothing which was fine.

His friend seemed to have a nice time. He was polite and said thank you before he headed home from our house.

His friend doesnt have a phone at the moment so everything was organised through me and his dad.

While organising his dad never said thank you at all. I thought he'd send a "friend had a great time. Thank you" text when friend got home. But nope.

I wouldnt expect that if my son and friend had organised it themselves obviously but am I unreasonable to think that because it was his dad and me, his dad should gave sent a quick thank you text?

YANBU - he should have sent a quick thank you text because you'd had to organise it directly with him
YABU - the friend said thank you, that is enough

Plus - how much is fish and chips these days?! I dont think I hid my surprise very well when she handed me the card machine!

This

When my sons were younger and if any other parents took them anywhere I would send my son round with a token gift to say thank you. I would also ring the parent to thank them ( No mobiles then) I think it's common decency,.

We all have different expectations. When a teenager friend of my kids thanked me, it brought a huge smile to my face. It was lovely to hear kids being appreciative. I raised my kids to do the same.

What I would find bad manner is a parent calling to thank me on behalf of their kid because after a certain age, I would expect them to have taught their kids to do it for themselves.

It's never crossed my mind to expect thanking from both the child and the parent. Its the act that's thanked.

This is what I’d have done.
When DD was younger I’d ask when she got back whether she said thank you. If so, job done. If not, a reminder that she should have and to do so when she saw the parent concerned again, plus a text from me saying thank you in the meantime.

I thank my 12 yr old dds friends parents if they take them out or have them for sleepovers.
DD thanks them too but I think the difference is I’m friends with the parents, what have a WhatsApp group and so I’m. Communicating with them anyway.

Thank you, RimTimTagiDim, for thanking randomchap for raising the issue of thanks.

To me, a child's parents still say thank you until the child is "of age".

If it was arranged through the dad then I think he should have dropped a thanks somewhere. Just common decency. Don't know if it's a covid thing or just this generation but the amount of entitled, badly mannered people I'm coming across is astounding.

To me, a child should be taught to say thank you and take responsibility for their own behavior rather than relying on mommy and daddy to do it for you. A teenager should absolutely know to say thank you, and in this case, he did so I don't see the problem.

As the parent, I would have thanked you as well as expecting my child to.

Because at the end of the day, the parent benefits from this too. Their kid is entertained for the day without having to put a hand in their pocket.

Perhaps the dad knows you consider him a “dosser”. I wouldn’t have let you take my child anywhere knowing you felt that way about me, personally. Good of him to put his feelings aside for the sake of his child.

I think the boy thanking you is enough. And yes fish & chips is now expensive! A few years ago mine & dd's fish & chips for 2 was close to £20 plus they bloody charged for a piddly portion of ketchup. I recently discovered a place that does f&c for around £9.20 and it was a perfect sized portion. Often there's just too much for 1 person. Also Wetherspoons f&c & mushy peas is usually v good

At 13 I genuinely couldn't get worked up about it, at that age they are responsible for their own manners.
Some would text, some wouldn't, neither is wrong imo. Personally I probably would drop a text but I wouldn't demand one if I had organised the trip

Thank you for pointing this out. Handwritten thank you letter is in the mail.

I of course expect a thank you card thanking me for the letter.

I think you are right but I wouldn’t worry about it since the kid was polite.

Some people are like this and seem to think you’re dying to have their child’s company!

'Of age' for what? Sex? Voting?

My friend’s daughter stayed with me for a couple of nights last week to hang out with my daughter. She thanked me. My friend messaged to say thank you. My daughter has gone to stay with a school friend for a couple of nights. I’ve messaged the mum to say thank you. No doubt my daughter will thank her also.

It’s hardly the crime of the century if you don’t get a thank you from the parent. But it isn’t good manners!

And in the OPs defence, I don’t see any evidence of being worked up or stewing over anything!

Oh I love these deliberately obtuse posts. What do you think? Do you think she was talking about sex or voting?

Think hard.

I would think of age of being able to say thank you themselves, which the friend in question did.

Fish and chips are horrifically expensive these days. I can't afford them.

I think fish and chips have for a long time been associated with the working class...but yes, it's so expensive nowadays

The child said thank you, no need for the parent to.

You took the friend out not the dad, the friend was thankful and that's all you need. Stuff like this would never bother me unless the friend wasn't grateful. YABU.

I still think the parent should have said thank you, as you've went out you're way for their child and also out of pocket, manners cost nothing.