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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Your favourite unreasonable AIBU?

357 replies

Fulbe · 29/07/2025 23:21

There are so many wonderful examples of these, please share your favourites. Bonus points for links.

I remember one when OP was annoyed if the cost of children's birthday gifts weren't higher than the cost of hosting the party per child.

And the classic from a few weeks ago when OP thought it was ok to block the shared driveway and thought their neighbour who lived at the end was the unreasonable one.

I bet there are better ones out there though...

OP posts:
Thread gallery
43
SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 07:55

SprayWhiteDung · 31/07/2025 07:50

Even if you were quite happy to automatically use the shower gel bottle (possibly with pooey hands as you handle it to open it) instead of an easy-dispense bottle on the side of the sink labelled 'hand wash'... OP was such a 'strong' character, who seemed so convinced that she must be right, if I had been the friend, I'd have been terrified of doing the (arbitrarily) wrong thing and being endlessly berated for it by OP.

Show quote history

Not to derail, but I think that was what made me side with the OP. She’d said quite clearly that she’d run out of liquid soap, but dozens of posters kept replying with “OMG why don’t you just buy liquid soap?!”

Lulubo1 · 31/07/2025 07:56

I remember one where the OP's cat got into a neighbours house and couldn't get out. She was asking if she should break into the house, as the couple had just moved in and were not home for the weekend. She said it was the neighbours fault her cat got in through the catflap. She even threw food in an open air vent in an attempt to coax it out. She finally got in contact with the neighbours and they let her in, but the cat had pissed all over their new rug and she said the neighbours were unreasonable for asking for money to clean it. I can't find the link, sorry.

ImogenBrocklehurst · 31/07/2025 08:00

Idontjetwashthefucker · 30/07/2025 22:03

Show quote history

Wow, the OP really is frothing at the mouth on this one. 🫤

SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 08:02

SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 07:10

Another favourite of mine was the OP who was incensed she wasn’t thanked in her son’s speech at his engagement party. The reason he didn’t thank her was because he was thanking his future in-laws for throwing them the (very fancy) party. Not only had OP done nothing towards the party, she had actively tried to change the whole thing from a catered event with professional planners and decorators into what she wanted - balloons from Amazon, leftover confetti, Morrisons party platters and a family friend DJing. Apparently she should have been “allowed to help” by bringing all this in over the couple’s heads (and those of the PILs, who were actually paying) and it was adding insult to injury that she wasn’t thanked (for nothing).

A special mention goes to the saga of Tom and Jess: two colleagues the OP thought were having affair; her dilemma being should she contact Tom’s wife (on the basis of having met her at one office party). This one sticks in my mind because, while the OP was actually pretty reasonable, some of the replies were utterly bizarre and got more and more batshit as the thread went on. People were advising OP to inform the wife via a “burner phone”; to contact the hotel she’d seen them in with increasingly complicated ruses to get confirmation they’d stayed there in just one room, to get a copy of the invoice… it hit a peak when she was advised to raise it formally at work, because “it would all be on the hotel CCTV as proof”. Because yes, hotels never attempt to protect the privacy of their guests - or to follow the basic principles of GDPR - and will hand CCTV over to anyone who asks.

I found Tom and Jess!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4021263-to-tell-his-wife?

To tell his wife.... | Mumsnet

I work with a guy, We'll call him Tom. Last year our work hosted a summer party, after some drinks, Tom was acting inappropriately with one of the gi...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4021263-to-tell-his-wife

Calliecarpa · 31/07/2025 08:04

PennyRest · 31/07/2025 04:46

That absolutely mad one about dolphins being arseholes. Funniest thing ever and if anyone can link it I’d love to read it again. It was just SO unreasonable.

This one? ;-)

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3386868-AIBU-to-be-livid-how-dolphins-are-portrayed-compared-to-how-they-are

Absolutely just beyond mental. "I am SO. ANGRY! at the way people think dolphins are cute and awesome and clever even though they commit GANG RAPE and MURDER and are EVIL and click at each other for CONSPIRACY."

😂😂

AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are? | Mumsnet

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the mos...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3386868-AIBU-to-be-livid-how-dolphins-are-portrayed-compared-to-how-they-are

Loguser · 31/07/2025 08:05

Thing is, ive been on the receiving end of a pile on where everyone gets (or pretends to get) the wrong end of the stick.
You are accused of being a troll, and people fixate on the most irrelevant detail - derail it all totally and the collective mirth begins, which starts to feel like bullying.
Some people genuinely come looking for help and if it becomes mere entertainment, it can make the initial view becomes more entrenched because literrially nobody is understanding on purpose.

Iceandfire92 · 31/07/2025 08:08

The woman with the ibiza hen, another hen in the UK and a wedding abroad who wanted to uninvite her friends from the wedding as they didn't want to pay hundreds extra for an ibiza beach club.

RimTimTagiDim · 31/07/2025 08:15

SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 06:53

I like the one who gatecrashed her brother's engagement party and couldn't understand why they were upset. I can't link as I don't remember any specific phrases to search for. I know there was something about drinking champagne...

These were two separate threads, but similar, and both came to mind for me too as soon as I saw the title!

Engagement party sister wanted to use lunch at her brother’s house (which she didn’t know was the engagement party) to introduce her new man and his two daughters. Brother said no, as he had something planned that was very much family only. OP then (insanely) went to their mother to ask her to intervene. Mother refused. OP then turned up with her new squeeze and his daughters at 4pm, on the basis that “lunch would be over by then” 🙄 and walked in on her brother and his fiancée announcing their engagement.

In the champagne one, OP’s in-laws were having dinner guests and had very specifically not invited her and her husband. Because husband “really wanted” to see one of the guests (parents’ old friend) they turned up anyway after dinner, refused to get the hint to bugger off when they weren’t offered a drink - leading to OP pushing her husband to take FIL’s very expensive champagne and pour it for her himself. Apparently PILs were always excluding them from social occasions and OP had no idea why…

Thank you, brought memories back!

SprayWhiteDung · 31/07/2025 08:17

SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 07:55

Not to derail, but I think that was what made me side with the OP. She’d said quite clearly that she’d run out of liquid soap, but dozens of posters kept replying with “OMG why don’t you just buy liquid soap?!”

Show quote history

I may be remembering wrongly, but I'm sure I recall that she didn't ever say to her friend "Just use the shower gel on the side of the bath instead - it's the same stuff" - which would have prevented all of the drama.

A lot of people get very particular indeed about their toiletries - some would get deeply offended by a guest using their bottle labelled 'shower gel' as shower gel!

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 31/07/2025 08:17

Gmala · 31/07/2025 07:53

I can't remember the full context of the thread, but there was a lady who said when she went out shopping on her lunch hour she took her lanyard/fob from her office building off so as not to disrespect retail staff. Her friend did not and she thought this was unreasonable. It was clearly bonkers how the OP genuinely thought working in an office made her better than retail staff and thought she was doing a Good Thing but instead just outed herself as up her own hole. 😂

I remember reading a thread where someone was working retail and thought anyone who came in wearing a lanyard was showing off and only did it to insult her, and they were the Unreasonable ones.
It was quite a few years ago now, can't remember anything else about it to search. OP was very angry from what I recall.

SprayWhiteDung · 31/07/2025 08:22

ImogenBrocklehurst · 31/07/2025 08:00

Wow, the OP really is frothing at the mouth on this one. 🫤

Show quote history

Reminds me of Ed Anger from the Weekly World News, for anybody who is old enough to remember that - he would never be "very cross" or anything normal, but it would always be something bonkers like "I'm hog-stamping furious!" Grin

Thispupsgottofly · 31/07/2025 08:26

ohnotthisagain2025 · 31/07/2025 01:29

Why?

Show quote history

I am not denying that the op rightfully owned the allotment and deserved to have it back
But
The way in which she (and many other posters) gleefully painted Barbara as the worst kind of brazen CF was, I think, slightly unfair.
The real villain of that thread was the previous owner of the house who'd made all these arrangements with her neighbours.
Barbara had been using that allotment for years and may have not even made the link to the house sale and the allotment she had been 'given' years ago. She had obviously spent loads of time planting and tending to the allotment and loads of people were all for the op just going and ripping all her stuff out of the ground.

Createausernameplease · 31/07/2025 08:27

SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 06:53

I like the one who gatecrashed her brother's engagement party and couldn't understand why they were upset. I can't link as I don't remember any specific phrases to search for. I know there was something about drinking champagne...

These were two separate threads, but similar, and both came to mind for me too as soon as I saw the title!

Engagement party sister wanted to use lunch at her brother’s house (which she didn’t know was the engagement party) to introduce her new man and his two daughters. Brother said no, as he had something planned that was very much family only. OP then (insanely) went to their mother to ask her to intervene. Mother refused. OP then turned up with her new squeeze and his daughters at 4pm, on the basis that “lunch would be over by then” 🙄 and walked in on her brother and his fiancée announcing their engagement.

In the champagne one, OP’s in-laws were having dinner guests and had very specifically not invited her and her husband. Because husband “really wanted” to see one of the guests (parents’ old friend) they turned up anyway after dinner, refused to get the hint to bugger off when they weren’t offered a drink - leading to OP pushing her husband to take FIL’s very expensive champagne and pour it for her himself. Apparently PILs were always excluding them from social occasions and OP had no idea why…

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3267542-To-have-ruined-brother-s-engagement?flipped=1&page=1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4227852-Fil-reluctant-to-serve-niether-myself-nor-dh-nice-champagne

To have ruined brother’s engagement | Mumsnet

I have been sick and can’t stop crying. I have done something terrible. Totally without thought. I have been seeing someone for 18 months, lovely ma...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3267542-To-have-ruined-brother-s-engagement?flipped=1&page=1

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 31/07/2025 08:34

SmurfnoffIce · 31/07/2025 07:55

Not to derail, but I think that was what made me side with the OP. She’d said quite clearly that she’d run out of liquid soap, but dozens of posters kept replying with “OMG why don’t you just buy liquid soap?!”

Show quote history

I definitely understand her frustration with that point, but that was an aside.
It doesn’t change the fact that she was unreasonable to expect her friend to mind read and know that she wanted her to use shower gel when she’d asked for soap to wash her hands (even though we’re all aware that it’s possible to wash your hands with shower gel as it’s basically the same thing). As evidenced by the 82% vote.

Hoppinggreen · 31/07/2025 08:35

Spookyspaghetti · 30/07/2025 22:59

God yes, that was proper bat shizzle. The ex teacher admitted to properly beating children.

Show quote history

The poor ex pupil wasn't even rude, OP felt she wasn't friendly enough and so confronted her to be told that she had bad memories of her as a teacher from school but that was enough to set OP off.
She reminded me of the loony Head from my rural Primary in the 70's

sueelleker · 31/07/2025 08:37

SprayWhiteDung · 31/07/2025 07:50

Even if you were quite happy to automatically use the shower gel bottle (possibly with pooey hands as you handle it to open it) instead of an easy-dispense bottle on the side of the sink labelled 'hand wash'... OP was such a 'strong' character, who seemed so convinced that she must be right, if I had been the friend, I'd have been terrified of doing the (arbitrarily) wrong thing and being endlessly berated for it by OP.

Show quote history

Hyacinth Bucket springs to mind.

TheaBrandt1 · 31/07/2025 08:38

Not an AIBU but still boggle at the poster who was very clear that no child of hers or her sister had ever been anywhere unaccompanied until they were 18. I and other posters questioned her but she was absolutely adamant. No special needs or anything.

Starlight1984 · 31/07/2025 08:43

Thispupsgottofly · 30/07/2025 16:39

There was one when someone was complaining about her husband and child having to share a room on holiday because her other family had decided to use more rooms but there were definitely enough rooms for her husband and child not to need to share.
I'm sorry this is so vague but it was mental. Anyone now what I mean. It was probably this year or late last year.

Yes!!! And she wanted her kids to share with her BIL or something ridiculous?! 😂

ThatAgileLimeCat · 31/07/2025 08:43

One that has stuck with me is the OP who was distraught that her partner hasn't posted a happy birthday message on social media for her. He had bought her expensive presents,.a card etc but in her mind, because he hasn't put a message on social media he wasnt acknowledging her in any way. Despite everyone saying she was being ridiculous,.she just couldn't see it.

Butchyrestingface · 31/07/2025 08:45

ThatAgileLimeCat · 31/07/2025 08:43

One that has stuck with me is the OP who was distraught that her partner hasn't posted a happy birthday message on social media for her. He had bought her expensive presents,.a card etc but in her mind, because he hasn't put a message on social media he wasnt acknowledging her in any way. Despite everyone saying she was being ridiculous,.she just couldn't see it.

She was a wind-up merchant who, like Oliver Twist, came back for more weeks later.

Thispupsgottofly · 31/07/2025 08:49

Starlight1984 · 31/07/2025 08:43

Yes!!! And she wanted her kids to share with her BIL or something ridiculous?! 😂

Show quote history

Someone else described it much better than me and posted the link somewhere!

somewhereintheworld · 31/07/2025 08:50

I laughed and couldn't stop with the one about the farting visitor 😂