Entitled dickhead in beauty spot

[grizzlyoldbear]

I was sat on a bench at a beauty spot in a nature reserve I’d never been to before, really peaceful, very quiet, no one else around. A man turned up with his dog and just stood there, it was very unnerving and I think he was waiting for me to move. “Lovely view, isn’t it?” he said in a pointed, hovering way.
As soon as I scrambled away from the bench (couldn't get out of there fast enough), he sat straight down. It was obvious he’d been waiting for me to f* off so he could have the bench to himself.
I found it really intimidating and creepy, especially as it was so secluded. It completely ruined the moment , I just wanted a quiet sit in nature, not to be silently pressured off the only bench.
Am I overreacting or would others have felt the same?

Ah, so a man staring at a woman in an isolated area and looming over her is perfectly fine but you find time to criticise a woman who has detailed 3 different occasions where men targeted her.

Your agenda is clear now.

YANBU.

I spend a lot of time outdoors. Used to own 3 dogs. In the last couple of years I've been attacked by more than 10 dogs.

The pandemic lead to a whole new group of dog owners and brought a lot of people outdoors who are completely oblivious to the norms. They have changed outside etiquette and culture. In my experience men are worst for this, having never or rarely felt threatened.

I'm looking forward to autumn and winter when everyone fucks off back inside! Buy yourself a down coat OP and try again in October.

For staters I don't believe I asked for your sympathy.

Secondly, just because other women have suffered physical abuse that means I can't complain about being leered at? And you have the audacity to question my use of language.

Your comment is actually revolting!

The MRA have clearly sent their Bat Signal to this thread. Or should that be the Joker Signal.

Targeted! She was spoken to in a B&Q queue. If that is all she has to “recover” from she is very lucky. Some of us have lived experience worthy of complaining about. The guy was waiting for a bench in a beauty spot, maybe op should have chalked an acceptable chalk line around her.

Thanks.

I can see why so many women don't share when you are met with the reception I have had on here over a few choice words! Let's ignore the entire contents of my comment and cherry pick my use of language to start an argument that has nothing to do with anything. Such an odd place at times.

Why do you keep ignoring that he was staring at OP and looming over her?

And that the man Falk refers to was staring at her?

You're ignoring it because you know staring is red flag behaviour.

This in spades.

Nothing I can’t stand more than those hanging on the shirt tails of those who have experienced real abuse and rape demonising and crying poor me over very little. It’s revolting and trivialising.

This sounds like code for trying to demonise women as hysterical complainers under the guise of standing up for ‘real abuse and rape’.

You do not get to speak for women.

We can gather and share our experiences using our own words.

Now who is trivialising? You are conveniently not addressing my experience in the CoOp.

But you've said women being leered at doesn't matter or warrant your 'sympathy' because it only matters when it is physical.

What a shocking attitude to have.

Who is hanging on the shirt tails? And who cried 'poor me'

This thread isn't about sexual abuse. I think you are in the wrong spot if that is what you want to talk about. It is about how men in public can make women feel uneasy through their actions either knowingly or not. I shared a few of my recent experiences that are relevant to the topic at hand.

If you have a problem with women calling out lecherous behaviour simply because other women have had it worse you are a massive part of the problem. Are you actually listening to yourself?

OP i don't blame you one bit.

That was distinctly odd behaviour from that man. I'm in my 50s & i would have left too. Wtf was he thinking!

About 2 years ago myself & dh were at a beautiful nature reserve & I was wearing new walking boots & one started rubbing my heel badly & gave me a blister. We were about 10mins from the car park & dh remembered we had plasters in the glove compartment & v kindly offered to go back for them while I waited.

We were in a loosely forested area with a path so we stepped just off the pathway where there was a tree stump & I sat down to wait.

It was early winter, midweek & v few people around. An older couple went by & said hello. No problems. About 10mins later a lone man in his 40s came along tje path. He was not dressed for walking the trail which is def easier in walking boots etc as its a mountain reserve but with gravel / mud in lots of areas.

I noticed his ordinary shoes. Anyway didn't spot me at first as I was to one side of the path & he was walking at a normal pace. As he got closer he saw me & he stared continously as he came level to my tree stump. I'm not a panicker at all. But it was weird how he openly stared. He didn't speak as he went by but I watched him - he walked onwards to a bend in uhe path. His pace had def slowed down once he went past me. Then he stopped & turned & started walking back in my direction. I saw this & can't describe how uneasy it made me. I stood up & (despite huge blister) stepped into the path & walked away from him towards the carpark to see my dh coming along towards me. When he saw me walking that way he knew something was up. He spotted the man behind me who immediately turned on his heel & headed back into the forest - dh was looking at him. I put the plaster on & we kept going for a bit but took a shorter route than we'd intended.

It was odd as fuck & i was def on edge & v glad to see dh come along when he did. But seeing that guy stare, slow down & then turn & come back my way was utterly unnerving. The fact that he scarpered when dh showed up made it feel worse to me.

Men really need to be more aware of themselves expecially in secluded, isolated areas

Fgs

yes, we can all chit chat about the view and the weather when it’s not a totally weird fucking scenario !!

imagine, you’re on a double decker bus which is totally empty, yet a random man stands next to you, when the whole bus is available. Weird, but at least the driver is there. Now transpose that to the top of a cliff and there is nobody there and a fucking ton of other benches….fuck the fuck off and find your own fuckety fuck fucking bench !!!

fuck the fuck off and find your own fuckety fuck fucking bench !!!

This should be on a t-shirt

You should have said 'yes it is' and got out your phone and started using that while ignoring him beyond that point. He'd soon have got bored. He probably just wanted a rest after walking his dog and knew that bench was there.

Sounds scary.

I apologised to a woman for startling her last night in the dark. I was a short woman in flip flops and pyjamas and still stayed on the opposite side of the road.

It took no effort from me to put her at ease.

This is such socially awkward behaviour.
You, not him.

No I think what is shocking is likening being looked at in a queue to rape, using the expression “eye rape” and thinking that’s ok. It isn’t. Neither is the ridiculous posts inflating a man waiting for a bench and commenting on the view.

This!

This!!! A man dares to be out enjoying the same views and countryside as the OP and now he's an "entitled dickhead" because he sat down on the bench when she moved?!

Nice.

Except the view that he was looking at was of OP, staring at her whilst looming over her.

You wouldn't like that so don't pretend you would.

@grizzlyoldbear I don't think I'd do this again actually in hindsight, it left me with a really weird feeling. Well maybe i would if i had a large dog.
Outside of the policy and military, dogs are not tools for self-defence or for intimidation of other people.

True, but I have a large dog as a pet, we do dog sports. He’s as soft as shit, loves everyone and he’s my best mate. But he looks the part and I wouldn’t go half of the places I do alone without him.

Almost every beauty spot is being ruined. The UK is so noisy and crowded that it's virtually impossible to be alone with nature. I remember standing in a meadow last Spring, but instead of bird song all I could hear was the screeching and exploding of modified car exhausts (apparently they're illegal, but the police do nothing). My local woods have been hacked down to make way for two new estates, and kids from those estates have now turned the woods into a virtual no-go zone. They've even vandalised some of the trees ffs (burning them with lighters, scrawling graffiti on them etc).

There is a village five miles from here that is absolutely lovely. I used to drive there on the first nice Spring day, or the first beautiful Autumnal day. It was something I looked forward to every year. But developers have now got their greedy claws on it and are in the process of ruining it. A massive new estate, including blocks of flats, is now being built there. They are also widening the road to accomodate the increase in traffic. Everywhere near me is being ruined. All the villages are having new estates added to them (not just a few houses, let me stress, but giant new estates with endless rabbit hutches jammed on top of one another). Anyone out there who thinks they're going to retire to some pretty little village is living in la la land. By the time we retire there won't BE any villages.

There are just too many human being on this planet, full stop. In 1960 there were three billion of us. Today there are eight billion, and we're heading for ten billion (right in the middle of a climate crisis). I have a recurrent fantasy of the world's population plummeting and all the disgusting housing estates near me being knocked down and turned into beautiful parks.

empathy not your strong point then?

how do you know this isn't where him & his late wife used to site when they used to enjoy a walk together?

where does she say there were other benches?