Entitled dickhead in beauty spot

[grizzlyoldbear]

I was sat on a bench at a beauty spot in a nature reserve I’d never been to before, really peaceful, very quiet, no one else around. A man turned up with his dog and just stood there, it was very unnerving and I think he was waiting for me to move. “Lovely view, isn’t it?” he said in a pointed, hovering way.
As soon as I scrambled away from the bench (couldn't get out of there fast enough), he sat straight down. It was obvious he’d been waiting for me to f* off so he could have the bench to himself.
I found it really intimidating and creepy, especially as it was so secluded. It completely ruined the moment , I just wanted a quiet sit in nature, not to be silently pressured off the only bench.
Am I overreacting or would others have felt the same?

I have voted YABU. It is normal to pause to admire the view at a beauty spot and normal to exchange a pleasantry if there is someone else there. Also fine to share a bench.

Not my intentions to trivialise or compare. I'm stating I felt visually violated, as I was, it was disgusting.

But that is literally not comparable in any way shape or form to rape so hugely trivialising.

I think I did cover it:

'Some people like to make conversation with strangers whilst out walking, that could be due to loneliness, friendliness or being an entitled pervert! Context is key, I don't think stopping for a breather by a bench and commenting on the view automatically makes the guy a creep (even if you felt creeped out) and I doubt men who go out with bad intentions bring their dogs along.'

'don’t dictate to others what they can and can’t utilise whilst visiting the same beauty spots.' I agree! In the same breath don't assume a lone woman wishes to speak to you. You see it goes both ways.

I think you both sound entitled. With public benches, there’s no expectation of privacy or “turns.” You just share if someone else wants to sit down on it, regardless of it being a beauty spot surely. I’m not sure why the only options were you leaving or him leaving.

'Easily deal' - should they retaliate, there would be uproar!
Either way, it's wrong. From both male AND female.
The man in the OP did nothing wrong.

I think it would actually be more awkward/intimidating to stop at the same spot and not say something if there was someone there.

This is a red herring argument. You don't like my choice of words that's fine. I've told you my intentions were not to trivialise. You don't wish to accept that. Is there any thing more to discuss on the matter? Not really. I'd rather focus on the topic of the thread.

So you both wanted the bench and the view to yourself?

Not really. Not speaking or commenting on the view. Either way it is likely to be misconstrued as predatory behaviour by the op who seems to think she owns the beauty spot.

Also anybody who thinks somebody looking at her is the same as rape really can’t dictate to others how they should think about the situation.

But you have trivialised rape- hugely. And the fact you think rape is the same as being looked at in a queue illustrates how your comments really don’t carry a lot of weight.

OP, you were not wrong to move on.

My friends daughters were out one day walking and came across a similar type situation.
One decided to take a photo and WhatsApp'd a photo to her mother, who called her immediately.

She told her mum they would see her in 20 minutes and that the guy in the photo had stopped to talk to them.

His face turned red and alarmed and he said bye and left them.

They have no idea what his intentions were but he didn't like that a photo of him had been sent.

They did call 101 later and they asked that they send the photo in by email.
They never heard anymore about it.

Listen to your gut always.

The statistics speak for themselves, mate. 97% of sexual assault is by men.

Stop trying to offload male violence onto women.

I can see why it’s in men’s benefit for women to become more trusting and docile, but it’s not happening so instead of trying to convince women to trust men, go tell men not to sexually assault so many women.

Yes easily deal with an attack the time. You are changing the topic to something completely different now suggesting men face harsher punishments for self defence. I'm not going into that as it's a different subject matter altogether.

'Either way, it's wrong. From both male AND female.' Nobody is disputing that.
I've pointed out why women are more wary of men and why men should be more mindful of approaching lone women as a result.

'The man in the OP did nothing wrong.' I have agreed.

Stop trying to police how women speak and share their experiences.

I probably would have started chatting with him but wouldn't have moved if I was happy there. Some people have very interesting stories

I didn't say it was the same.... You assumed my meaning. Why can't you drop it. You just fancy a non argument today or what....?

No I won’t when it very much trivialises rape and also very much illustrates what a skewed opinion said poster has as regards behaviour. The guy did nothing wrong and does not need social awareness training.

I’m sorry that happened to you. Women need to keep sharing their experiences.

It was an appalling thing to say, posters can comment on that.

Who said anything about severe punishments? The fact is, if a man retaliated, there would be uproar from people. You've assumed my meaning - like the OP assumed the man's intentions were sinister.

I literally never said it was the same though did I. Hang off that if you think it strengthens your argument. It doesn't.

What makes you think there would be an uproar in relation to a man defending himself? And how is this relevant to the topic. Like I said, you have gone off on a tangent. Maybe create a new thread?

I keep my sympathy for those that have experienced sexual assault and rape. Said poster was allegedly looked at in a queue and subjected to mansplaining in a B&Q queue. 🙄Some of us have experience of real abuse.

By all means comment. What you don't get to do is assume my meaning or intention nor do you get to police my language or say that I'm comparing when I am not. It's really that simple. Do you wish to continue this non argument? It's rather boring and came to it's conclusion a while back.