To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

[Starry4321]

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

I agree with this. I totally understand you not wanting a dog sleeping on any sofa, but particularly a light-coloured and expensive one.
So what if it's 'difficult' for you to say the dog must be on the floor? It's your house.
Although in fact your DH needs to do it, since it's his mum.

I can’t believe how many people are actually saying they would be ok with this and then deflecting OP’s choice of sofa as if that’s the point of the thread!

As a family who have only recently been able to start to buy new things that haven’t been passed down from FB MP or furniture that family members no longer want there is no way with something as expensive as a new sofa would a big, drooley, stinky dog would be sleeping on it never mind a person using it as bed.

(I HATE dogs on sofas and we have two Labs! both sofa downstairs rooms get closed her at night and if we are out to avoid that happening!)

OP maybe MIL on the be ok for a few nights, but I would 100% dying on the hill about the dog…

As a point of interest for those that think OP is being precious about her brand new sofa, if you were visiting a friend/family and your dog jumped on their sofa, what would you do? Would you just ignore and think everyone would by totally ok with it because you are?!

And if I were said guest I would insist on you not doing so. I think the more rational solution would be to provide appropriate sleeping space for visitors (sofa bed, fold out bed, or trundle) than to get into scuffles about who has to sleep on an air mattress.

I think it's different values isn't it? We don't view our parents as "guests". They are family and our elders.

Someone else's smelly dog on your new sofa? Bleugh. I can see why you aren't happy with that.

You wouldn’t be a guest if you tried to tell me how to arrange my home during your visit.

Why do you expect that ? I am not 60 yet and my dc is 32 no grandchildren but you don't have to be "elderly" to have toddler grandchildren

@Starry4321 no way would anyone be sleeping on my new sofa. Especially with a dog !

Id die on this hill. I’d also tell mil to her face no ways she was sleeping on the new sofa and neither was her dog.
How ignorant . Sweating all over someone’s new sofa .

Someone can be your family and a guest in your home at the same time. I do value the comfort of my guests which is why I have a daybed with trundle for guests in what will eventually be my child's room when they are six months old. But age is irrelevant, homeowners are the "elders" in their own house. I think many mumsnetters would have better relationships with their in-laws if everyone repected that fact.

Asking for the dog not to go on the sofa is perfectly reasonable. Asking MIL not to sleep on it in case she affects the cushions is not.

Agree with others, buy a thick waterproof washable cover (actually, two) to protect from toddler and dog.

Unless it’s a sofa bed, sofas are not designed to be slept on.
If you are willing to buy a comfy pop up bed, your DH and MIL shouldn’t see that as an over-complication. It’s a much more hygienic solution if you have a mattress cover and proper washable bedding, pillows and pillow cases etc, especially if the dog also sleeps on the bed.
I hate the idea of somebody/a dog slobbering over upholstery and cushions. Yuk.
YANBU.

It’s a good job she’s not my MIL then - I don’t have dogs in my house let alone on the furniture.

Cover the sofa up as PP have suggested, and tell DH that if she removes it you will hit the roof. A smelly dog sleeping on the sofa is disgusting.

Hi @Starry4321 , not sure why you are given a hard time here because I also wouldn't allow anyone to sleep on a brand new sofa let alone a dog. Can you call the store and ask them to postpone the delivery until after she has left? Of course it won't help if she visits frequently.

I wouldn’t be happy with a dog on my sofa. Even our own dog isn’t allowed on the sofa.

I’d get a cover for the sofa and insist the dog sleeps in a bed on the floor. Though cream sofa and a 2 year old. 😬 My eldest is 12 and still consistently ruining furniture by spilling stuff, so you’ve got a long way to go with that sofa.

Mattress protector for the sofa and I'd actually get a dog bed for the doggo and say no dog on top of the new sofa please but here's a nice cosy cushion for him to sleep on.

Yes. you could delay new sofa delivery..
or
book hotel (that takes dogs)
or just go ahead and order a put up bed on amazon (provided you can store it) ... can you ask MIL to bring a dog bed too?
or
as people have suggested get some decent covers ( I'd go for some of those king size waterproof but cloth like mattress protectors) and then put the bedding over that.

Option one.. delay the sofa... and the last option, protect the sofa... would cause the least fussing from DH and MIl..

but its up to you. How messy is the dog?

I wouldn’t want anyone sleeping on my new sofa either

I would have bought a sofa bed and if I had a toddler not in a light colour. Accidents happen.

Why on earth aren't you buying a sofa bed?!

You could also do what a PP suggested, and get an armchair bed or small sofa bed for the second bedroom, and move DC in with you while MIL is staying.

I dislike dogs and wouldn't want them staying in my home, but given that you have allowed it until now I think it's going to be tricky to stop allowing it. I would get DH to ask MIL to bathe the dog just before she comes, and bring a dog bed - would not want dog on new sofa. Of course she might just ignore the request and let dog sleep with her anyway if that's what she does at home.

It's obviously not unreasonable to want a nice new sofa to be used only as a sofa, and to keep pets off it.

Your MIL should be more than happy with a good quality fold-away bed.

In your opinion.

You do realise that others, including OP, might think differently.

I don't understand your point. We are all giving our opinions, aren’t we? You gave yours, and I gave mine. That’s what the thread was for, to ask for people's opinions, isn’t it?

Was just going to say this. Never had that issue at all. Why is everyone wandering around in the living room with sticky hands etc!!

Is it because you think she'll pee the bed? Does she smoke and eat in bed?

I get that you should say dog needs to sleep on floor in his own bed (supplied by her if you don't have something suitable)

But if you use a throw, followed by a topper and then bedding I don't really see how she could damage it. Other than very serious cases of the scenarios above.