To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

[Starry4321]

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

If you have the space @Starry4321 , could you look into a fold-out bed in an ottoman with a nice topper? Such as this footstool bed. There are a few versions of this available on the market, including one from daals where I think you can order fabric samples, so you can try to find something that goes with your new sofa. Your MIL will hopefully find that more comfortable than sleeping on a sofa, and having it out with the bed made up all nicely when she arrives will mean that there are no arguments about just prefering to sleep on the sofa when someone mentions blowing up the air bed.

Nobody is allowed to sleep in our living room full stop. We used to allow it but the room would feel so grubby afterwards, we once walked in to air it out and clean up after someone slept on the sofa and the smell of stale fart hit me in the face 😂

Absolutely no way would I have anyone now Nevermind on a new sofa with a dog.

I would 100% say air bed moving forwards Get one of those double height double ones and tell her it is there or she is welcome to find and pay for herself and her dog at a local hotel/air bnb.

I too dont like people sleeping on my sofas, it definitely isn't good for sofas and 100% would not want a dog all over the sofa.

Sorry but I would not have a dog or mil sleeping on my new sofa. Surely everyone wants to preserve and enjoy the “newness” of the sofa in the first months of ownership. What is wrong with the pop up bed?

Get a quilt cover or something put it over the sofa or just say to her or get your partner to say about not wanting the dog on the couch , so it comes from them and not you.

I'm amazed she's travelling 5 hours and you're asking her to sleep on the sofa.
You could sleep on the put up bed and she could have your bed.

I don't think I've slept on a sofa since I was a student

Put a sheet on it.

Just get some stretcy covers for it. They seem to be advertised everywhere. Pop them on when mil due for the dog.
We recently got a new sofa for our kitchen. We have taken turns to sleep on it! No impact despite dh being 6 2 and 14 stone.

Yanbu fold up single bed or high air bed.

Why don't you get a fold out sofa bed in the kids room and you can move the toddler in with you for the visit?

Fair dues to her for sleeping on a couch in the first place! I’d say this will be an even split, some people will think ‘who cares, it’s difficult enough for her being on a couch’, others will be all about keeping the place spotless. Personally I’d rather have visitors than a pristine couch and if it were my mum (I know it’s not yours), I’d be thinking it’s nice to have her stay over. Basically only you can answer this one

Just saw someone suggested child sleeping in your room- that’s a really good idea, when we have visitors people move around to accommodate them and give them a room

I think you should have just got a comfortable sofa bed as then guests could stay because the rooms won’t be able to accommodate them.

Sorry, OP, this was not great decision making on your part (I say your, rather than your DH as he doesn’t mind her sleeping on the sofa).

In your situation with space at a premium and knowing MIL will need to stay over and sleep on the sofa, I would have bought a sofa bed with mattress protector and then cover. It would be adequately sprung and made for the job of occasional sleeping.

Telling your MIL she can no longer sleep on the sofa could cause all manner of offence and rifts, rightly or wrongly - she may see it as she is not good enough to sleep on your precious sofa or that you value inanimate object over her. Not to mention that people get very weird about their dogs, it maybe like rejecting her child!

There's no way I would be leaving the mattress I spent £3000 on to specifically alleviate my back problems because I'm having guest. Granted, I also would be proviting a better provision for guests than an air mattress (moving the toddler into a single bed with a trundle would be a great option, there's no reason a child needs to be in a cot/cot bed past the baby stage), but I would probably only considermoving out of my bed if someone 65+ was coming to stay and I had no way of providing them with anywhere to sleep, in which case I probably would have them stay in a chain hotel.

It sounds like your set up doesn't really work if you have regular guests, whoever they are. I would have a designated sofabed, ideally in an office or dining room. Or living room if that's the only space. With designated storage to include a good mattress protector for it.

I expect mil is 65+.

This!

Get yourselves on a lilo in the living room and let granny have your bed as most would do with guests particularly close family.

Perhaps a fold out dog bed to go alongside the sofa?

I will never sleep on an air bed in my own house, and I would think it was wildly disrespectful for a guest to even suggest that I might.

Or this.

Sleeping on sofas is what teens do at their pais houses.

To buy a new sofa and then worry about possible sagging cushions from people not sitting on it "properly" sounds like absolute lunacy to me! Do you imagine your child is always going to sit up perfectly straight on it throughout their childhood and adolescence?

A sofa is not going to get somehow out of shape because someone lies on it rather than sits upright on it, every now and then. A sofa is for using, not for keeping pristine so you can look at it. I would be concerned about whether you have this (obsessive?) anxiety about appearances elsewhere in your life.

Just buy a waterproof bedsheet (good ones don’t feel plasticky) to cover the sofa under the ordinary bedding when your MIL uses it. That will protect it from any doggy smells or accidents.

I‘M with you OP but unless this is the cross that you want to die on, be magnanimous: buy a king or super king sized waterproof mattress protector that will engulf the entire sofa, cover with a fitted sheet then the duvet. Buy a dog bed and tell her the sofa is for humans only! Good luck

I wouldn’t wait for a guest to suggest it. I’d do it automatically if I didn’t have a spare bed.

Why? It's entirely possible they are but there's no reason to expect it.