To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

[Starry4321]

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

I’m on your side here op. When you finally have something nice and new you want to keep it as nice as possible.

nice new blowup bed. You can get big ones now that are really comfortable.

As a MIL, I'd book a dog friendly hotel rather than sleep on the sofa in a communal area.

Why don’t you have the toddler in with you and blow up bed in the toddlers room for mil

No. OP does not want a large, smelly animal sleeping on her sofa. That is completely unacceptable and disgusting to many people.

My sofa is around 30 years old and three generations of dogs (and me) have slept on it as a regular thing. Once it was for a year as I had massive remodelling going on upstairs (nigtmare, don't ask) Old age has now taken the last generation of dogs but before that I just had a collection of very pretty cheap counterpanes from Amazon which I used as throws. They went in the wash and out on the line on a regular basis so no dog smell. Last year I had the cushion foams replaced for the second time. Do you like your Mil? Because I have a motto which serves me well which is "use things; love people"

That's no way to talk about OPs MIL!

But get a cover for the sofa, OP. You can take it off if you want to wield your lovely sofa to friends, but with children around, a big washable cover will be the order of the day.

It doesn’t really sound a comfortable enough option for someone old enough to be a granny tbh (obviously you haven’t said her exact age but she’s not a youngster).

Can you look into a really good sofa bed instead? I got a box sprung one which has been brilliant.

I even less think she can sleep on a blow up! Thats insane at her age.

Can you and you DH get a blow up the two of you can sleep on and give her your room? Or else pay for a hotel? It just doesn’t sound like you can accommodate her properly as it stands.

I wouldn’t want this either with a brand new couch and I also hate having guests in my lounge because I don’t sleep very well sometimes and get up in the middle of the night to have a cup of tea. If we have guests, they get a child’s room and child goes on a blow up bed with sibling but would fit in my room too. A pop up fold out bed is absolutely fine to sleep on and I have happily slept on one at a friends place in their home office room.

Get a cover for your sofa. You. It will keep marks off the sofa.

You can buy really cheap sofa covers op just make sure there’s something nice and thick under where they’re lying and it should be fine. Give all the bedding a good hot wash after she’s gone
Or if your child is in a full-size bed let your child make a camp bed, they’ll love it, and granny could have their bed.
These things really are easily solved with a bit of thought, for peace and harmony, just let her enjoy her stay.

>> For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday.

I'm interested that you think almost a decade is a long time to go between replacing sofas. How often do most people replace their sofas? We bought our sofas two decades ago and it wouldn't occur to us to replace them. Tbh they are a bit old and scruffy at this point, so I think you might be on to something.

Sofas are meant to be slept on, just as they're meant to be sat on. If your MIL is more comfortable on a sofa than a flimsy makeshift bed, I wouldn't be quick to deny it to her. Older people often require better sleeping accommodations than younger ones do. I would not risk making her feel unwelcome or that you value keeping a piece of furniture in pristine condition (which you can't do anyway) over her comfort in your home.

I advise just putting a bedsheet over the sofa and let it go without making a fuss about it. It soon won't be new anymore and you won't care anymore.

Buy a decent waterproof mattress protector fro somewhere like The White Company, more expensive but definitely worth it. This will prevent staining and smells if your DH isn't going to back you up on this.

Just put a mattress protector on it. Maybe put one over the back too, and tuck it in. Then a sheet on top and the dog will be fine.

Lying on a sofa won't harm the cushions I wouldn't have thought.

Light coloured sofa with a toddler? You’re gonna regret that choice, It’ll be ruined in 12 months .

Sleeping on the sofa isn't going to damage it - as a pp pointed out, the weight is more widely spread. This sofa may not be as comfortable to sleep on as your old one - did you not think about getting a sofa bed?

MIL may feel that you don't want her staying over, if you're prioritising your new sofa over her comfort - it does sound like you are to be honest. I differ from most PPs in that I'm a dog on the sofa person - you can get a throw to cover it when MIL and dog visit.

My DS was much harder on my sofa than my dog. My dog never had an 'accident' on my sofa, a number of toilet training kids have!

You're setting yourself up for a lot of crying over spilt milk. It's a sofa, it should be comfortable to sit on, and look OK.

But OP does not want the bloody dog sleeping on her sofa!

I think if I knew that a family member was regularly making the effort of a 5 hour trip to see us and staying over on the sofa, I'd have bought a sofa bed to make sure she was as comfortable as possible. I also wouldn't have bought a light sofa if I knew it was going to be around a toddler plus slept on by a person and a dog!

Is there any chance you can cancel the sofa order and buy something a bit more appropriate for your family circumstances/needs? It doesn't seem like you've made a very sensible choice under the circumstances.

If it was my MIL, I'd prefer her dog to stay.

She said she couldn't stop the dog sleeping on it if the mother in law was sleeping there. A mattress protector will, well, protect the soda.

I was in two minds but the dog swung it for me

Depending how heavy she is and how often she stays, sagging may well be an issue. I had an ex years ago who snored. Inevitably he'd be kicked out of bed and end up on the sofa. It wrecked the sofa! He was a bit overweight though. But when we broke up I ended up buying a new sofa because the sagging was so bad.

Anyone who buys an expensive pale sofa when they have a two year old is crazy. Come back in a couple of years and let us know how it’s gone @Starry4321. I don’t understand why you haven’t brought a sofa bed when you know it’s going to be slept on.

…should have got a Sofa Bed.

I’ll be honest as soon as we got our new sofa a few years ago the first thing I did was buy a massive similar coloured blanket to go over it. I only take it off if we have guests but for the most part it stays on. Sticky fingers/ crumbs/cats etc- seemed silly to ruin our nice sofa and we wanted to preserve it longer. Just do that before your MiL arrives and wash after she leaves and put back on.