To say MIL not sleeping on new sofa when it arrives?

[Starry4321]

We have 2 bed home with a young toddler (crib her room, no spare bed) so space is tight. When MIL comes to visit (5 hours away) she normally sleeps on sofa with bedding with her dog. It’s a big comfy sofa and she has always stated she prefers that over the blow up bed option we also offer. For the first time in almost a decade we have a new sofa arriving Saturday. It’s a light colour and quite expensive. I said to DH today when MIL comes to visit I think its best we look at some sort of pop up style bed I can set up in living room for her with bedding instead of sleeping on new sofa. Particularly as dog will also be sleeping with her. He got annoyed and said he wants her to sleep on new sofa and said I am over complicating things. MIL even said oh brilliant, new sofa, can’t wait to sleep on it!

I just don’t went the new sofa being ruined basically! More than happy to make an alternative bed a comfy option for her to stay. AIBU?

Yeah as pp has said just buy a big cover. With regards to what youre saying about ruining the shape having someone sleep on it, i dont think thats relevant unless its constant.

My sister has some stretchy covers that go over hers - would something like that work for when she (&dog!) are visiting?

I think you are being unreasonable. I would not sleep on a blow up mattress as it would hurt my back. Why don't you get a topper for the sofa for when she is staying? You can get thick tempur ones which just lay over the top for eg
Is it a sofa bed? Or does she just sleep on the sofa as if it were a single bed?

The sofa we got when we got married 21 years ago has just been replaced due to a large saggy indent where DH sat. Nothing to do with sleeping on it.
Get a throw or mattress topper for when the dog sleeps on it. Wash it, job done.

Could she sleep on one of the kids beds while the kids double up or one sleeps of them sleeps on the floor? My kids have slept on the floor at the end of our bed or doubled up for visitors or on holidays all their lives. You couldn’t do it for a week but a night here or there absolutely.

They have a 2 bed home with a young toddler. No spare bed. Crib in her room.

I have my own dogs (and often other people's dogs too) and a newish sofa. I bought a washable, waterproof throw for it and that keeps it free from dog smells. Unless your MiL is hugely obese, she's highly unlikely to cause any damage to the sofa by sleeping on it.

YABU

It’s a sofa. Your MIL won’t ruin it. Your toddler will.

My 4 year old threw up on my sofa last week. It will get damaged whether you like it or not.

A person lying in the sofa to sleep will have their weight distributed more evenly than someone sitting on it. It’s the sitting that will distort the shape of the cushions eventually, inevitable with all sofas, not the occasional lying.

Just buy a good cover for it to protect it from the dog. Your toddler is more likely to damage it than your mum in law. Though I really don’t understand why you’re not buying a sofa bed. A sofa your MIL can’t sleep on is not really fit for purpose given your situation.

Dog on sofa? Absolutely not. If that means MIL can't sleep on it either, hard cheese.

Taking your smelly dog to stay at someone else’s house in their bedding is truly disgusting

Absolutely within your rights to say smelly dog can’t sleep on new sofa - that is a hard no from me.

If you don't want her to sleep on the sofa figure out an alternative or tell her to book a hotel. I wouldn't let the dog on any of my furniture though....

One old lady sleeping on it every now and again won't ruin it unless she's in fact 30 stone in weight?!
Get a decent cover to put over it when she's here with the dog and pretend it's always on and then take it off and wash it when she goes. A cover plus a sheet will protect it from any dog related mess and her sleeping on it will do it no harm at all.

sleeping on the sofa infrequently won’t harm the shape/structure of it

however I would cover it, perhaps using a waterproof mattress protector and sheets if it’s expensive

Is she the sort of person who allows their dog to sit on other people’s sofas? Just say the dog isn’t allowed on the new sofa

I can’t stand dogs so can see your point of view but if you already allow the dog then it seems mean and fussy to not let her use the new sofa. Just throw a cover on it. Also, it’s your husbands house too. Let him do the rules for his family and you do the rules for yours.

I'm with @Bikergran on the cover. It'll also be useful for the toddler! Funny Fuzzy do ones designed for pets that may also come in handy (waterproof) for kids. You could even get two - one dog, one non. I wouldn't worry about the cushions being ruined - they're designed to be sat on. You're reasonable to ask that the dog not sleep on it (though I'd personally go the cover route because I wouldn't trust them to stick to it) - but honestly, easier all round to get a cover and not die on this hill. Alternatively, if you're that desperate to save the sofa, you can give up your bed for MIL and sleep on the airbed? I wouldn't personally but YMMV.

As a former dog owner, who had a medium, very hairy dog who was partial to rolling in godawful stuff...

The dog was ALWAYS given a bath the day before we went to stay with family. Because dogs smell, and it's polite to not smell - I wouldn't turn up unwashed and stinky, so why should the dog?

And... Different houses different rules. My dog was allowed on my bed and on the sofa at home. At Mums house, and some friends houses - he wasn't allowed on furniture at all. At other friends houses - he was allowed on furniture. He followed the rules for each house.

They learn what they can do where. The dog is more than capable of learning there are different rules for different places.

Your house, your rules. The dog has to do what you tell it, not you have to do what the dog tells you.

It's not unreasonable to say the dog is welcome but it needs to be washed and it isn't allowed on the furniture. That's perfectly reasonable.

How would a sofa know if you’re laying on it to sleep or watch a film? Unless she stays regularly for weeks at a time you’re making a fuss about nothing.

DH had our sofas before he met me. (We’ve been married for 21 years). They’ve sat in 4 different houses, in rooms which have been redecorated around them. We had the sofa cushions replaced around 8 years ago and they are still
going strong.

Just put a sheet on, job done.

Do you have space for a chair bed? But get a cover or throw for the sofa anyway with a toddler and visiting dogs.
https://www.argos.co.uk/product/4589455

Or move toddler into your room and put MiL in toddler's room.

I mean, I would never put MIL on the sofa anyway. She would have our bed and me and DH would camp on the living room floor if needed. Don't really understand why you would sleep in a bed and your DH's mother on the sofa.

Surely your toddler will be in a bed soon enough and so MIL can sleep there at that point with DC on sofa or fold out.

Give her your bed while she’s over. No way would my mum have a sofa to sleep on.