To let my 8 year old daughter shave half her head

[Missymini]

My daughter currently has a bob and she has decided she wants her hair cut shorter. We have looked together at pictures online and she likes the type were half the head is shaved and the remaining hair has a undercut. It feels quite drastic but I am tempted to let her as it is her hair we have discussed once it is done if she doesn't like it she will have to wait for it to grow out and she is adamant that is fine.

it hair! It’ll grow. Chill.

I would agree with this and it’s a big part to consider. I have regularly had similar hairstyles starting in high school and it’s not a case of less hair, less time in the morning. A lot of products, hair often standing on end when u wake up so needs at min a damp down and blow dry. Longer hair can mean quick ponytail and out the door.

I love that your dd has the confidence to want to do something major like this and not be a carbon copy of everyone else. I have never conformed to the ‘norm’, despite people’s views on shaved ladies hairstyles I am straight and having hair like that never stopped me getting a boyfriend in high school. As a primary teacher though one thing I would say is that they can be a bit harsher with their comments and will most likely dish out a slagging. At high school, not always, but sometimes people can be a bit more free to express themselves. I really didn’t give a shit what people thought about my appearance. I was always more hurt if they attacked my personality. Only you know if your dd could handle it both any rude comments and the upkeep.

Well what you've posted is an extreme though, isn't it, and you've also taken part of a longer post out of context. Hyperbole isn't really part of an intelligent discussion, in my opinion. There's been a lot of it in this thread, though, from both sides.

Your attitude is trashy.

Fancy calling somebody trashy because they've got a quite mainstream haircut?

Unfortunately, it's not hyperbole.

Someone actually said:

It could also set a young child up for nasty looks and comments from those who think it signals that the child and family are "chavvy." We see that is not an unusual opinion from this thread. Is that what you want an eight-year-old to possibly have to deal with?**

That's a direct quote.

That the OP should consider denying her daughter the haircut she wants on the grounds that she might get 'nasty looks and comments' from the type of person who thinks an eight year old with short hair is a "chav".

I mean honestly! I don't blame you for not believing me. I can't believe anyone would think that either. That it's acceptable to deny an eight year old control over her own hair because adults she doesn't know won't like it! Absolute madness.

Have not read the full thread.

I like the cut, and like that she feels confident enough to want to do it!
I don't know if I'd be comfortable myself with my (hypothetical) 8 year old spending the time it'll take to manage it with products and styling every day though. Feels a bit too "grown up" to me - I think kids hair should be low maintenance whatever style it's in. But then I don't like spending time on my own either!

It looks straggly, untidy and is totally impractical for a young child.

Again, it was part of a longer post that looked at both sides of it. You need to learn to read before arguing. Just charging in and trying to "win" without listening to a full post is ignorant and annoying. I tried to answer you nicely but now I guess I'll just block you since it's clear your tiny mind is all wound up.

Oh dear. There is no blocking function. Now that's what's sad and grey around here lol.

They have so little control over their own lives at this age, assuming there’s no issue paying for the haircut and subsequent frequent trims to keep it neat I’d let her make her own decision. Hair isn’t important, it will grow back.

It is pretty drastic though so she’d need to be really sure. Maybe get half way stage hair cut first that would be less severe and quicker to grow out, and then go back for the proper one a week later if she’s still determined.

My DD insisted she wanted a fringe cut in. She has very long hair and I knew it was going to take ages to grow out, and I also didn’t think it would suit her so gently tried to suggest it might not be a good idea. I let her choose, and she’s been growing it out for a year and says she wishes she’d not done it. I, on the other hand, was completely converted as soon as she had it done and think it looked great and she should have kept it. However, it’s her hair and her decision.

We all make decisions we regret at some
point in our lives. Hair is a pretty harmless thing to have this experience with, and maybe will encourage being more cautious in future with decisions that are not so easily reversed. Also, she could end up looking amazing and loving the hair cut
and all the kids in school will be wanting theirs done the same.

It is part of a longer post (apologies I replied to you before you edited to add that bit in). If you refer back you can see in my original response I did quote the full post as well so everyone could see who said it/what they said in full. That's also available to see if you look at 'show quote history' so there is no confusion about the full post and who wrote it.

I'm glad you tried to answer nicely initially. That's really important in grown up discussion isn't it? Unfortunately, I think you have let yourself down with some of the stuff in this most recent comment (e.g. 'you need to learn to read' 'tiny mind').

I went to school with girls who had very short hair in the early 90s, short enough that one of them was regularly mistaken for a boy purely on that basis - but it wasn't uncommon. I think it's sad that what your daughter wants is considered radical or trashy or any other clearly negative ideas about it. A bit more confidence and variety among young girls wouldn't go amiss frankly.

Will her school allow this look? Some are strict about what they call "extreme hairstyles" and they go back in 5 weeks. If school won't have an issue with it, I reckon let her go ahead.

Those hairstyles would be bad enough on an adult but to inflict them on children is unspeakable.

I’m really torn with this one. On the one hand, I’ve been saying that my own 9 year old has body autonomy and can wear what she wants within reason but I’d really struggle with that hair cut. Mainly due to the likely level of maintenance but also the length of time it would take to grow out if she hated it. I’ve gone from very long hair to pretty short a number of times and it was always a shock to the system. I felt like a different person each time I did it and I think that could be quite tricky without staging it for a child. My hair grows quickly but you’re looking at at least 3/4 months to get to a short bob length from an undercut. to get back to something past shoulders I reckon 8/9 months.

Agree. My mum let me get a pixie cut in the summer hols when I was 10 and now I am now a pierced punk who's partial to a rave.

Be very careful OP!

But seriously OP please let her do it. It sounds like you have a cool daughter, and that cut will allow her to cover the with ease if she wants to.

Well.. the school policy which dictates no ‘extreme haircuts’ and allows ‘natural colours’ were perfectly happy with DD’s hair. Strange that you have an issue when you never set eyes on her!

It's a bit outdated. Very 5 years ago. She might get bullied at school.

whats The school uniform rules for hair?

I don’t like the train track image… as most schools don’t allow that… but if she has it done now the lines would grow out before September.

IF she regrets having it done, it will be a very valuable lesson for the future when considering piercings / tattoos etc

I think it looks great, of course you should. Not understanding the weird comments on here. It's hair, it will grow back

What sort of nasty children would bully a child for having short hair

I would suggest the children of some of these posters.

My daughter did this in year six We had the same talk and she was sure she wanted it and if she didn't like it it would grow out. She kept it until halfway through year seven. It took a long time for the side and underneath to grow back and it looked odd whilst growing out but I do t think she regrets doing it.

Unfortunately the sort of kids who have parents like the ones on this thread using terms like 'chavvy', 'butch', 'awful' etc. to describe an eight year old!