To let my 8 year old daughter shave half her head

[Missymini]

My daughter currently has a bob and she has decided she wants her hair cut shorter. We have looked together at pictures online and she likes the type were half the head is shaved and the remaining hair has a undercut. It feels quite drastic but I am tempted to let her as it is her hair we have discussed once it is done if she doesn't like it she will have to wait for it to grow out and she is adamant that is fine.

This. Why on earth wouldn’t you let her experiment now, at the beginning if the summer holidays when it has a chance to grow out by September if she doesn’t like it or it would go against school policy?

I say this as someone who couldn’t have cared less about hair and clothes when I was a kid (or now really!), but had lots of friends who would spend hours poring over magazines at that age to pick the perfect haircut.

I’m really confused as to why short hair is deemed to be chavvy by some? My daughter took one look in the mirror post-pixie cut and said “Wow, I look just like Emma Watson”. Her 12 year old sister walked into the kitchen and said “Wow, you look just like Emma Watson”.

Is Emma Watson chavvy?

Then again, I grew up in 1980’s Crawley which was know as “The Chav Capital of the UK” at the time. Although none of my friends or their parents had short hair so this seems to be a complicated conundrum. 🤔

Looks great because they are fresh out of the hairdressers chair. The reality of this hairstyle is very different and it’s high maintenance with regular trips to the hairdressers and styling every day. I don’t think an 8 year old can commit to what a cut like this needs, it’s not get up and put a brush through it then tie up in a ponytail on school mornings.

Is that not just your opinion though? And like arseholes, we’ve all got them? What you think is trashy, others will think it looks great and as long as the kid likes it, that’s all that really matters, isn't it?

Meant to click yanbu

Oh gosh, thinking about it, I cut my long hair which had been long for 40 years into a bob recently. Is my 9 year old subtly influencing me into slowly turning into a chav like her? Oh dear, everyone at work will be very surprised! 😮

Also very surprised by some of the responses. I thought I was very conservative, boring and non-adventurous but I see nothing wrong with that haircut. I have seen a couple of girls with it before and thought it looked great. I think your daughter sounds awesome and a confident little girl.

I have the exact opposite problem, 8 year old DS is currently refusing to get his hair cut and wants to grow it long! I'm not going to stop him but it's at a really awkward length and I'm dying to get it at least tidied up a bit..

Its great that she's got her own style but I'd maybe get her to think about it a bit longer. Of course it will grow back bit it'll probably take a year and that's a reeeeally long time to an 8 year old

Providing the hairstyle fits with school rules, then my kids can choose what hairstyle they want. We decide together though, alongside the school rules there is also a consideration to ongoing hairdressing costs if it's a style that needs regular 6-weekly maintenance.

Yes this is a real issue. I think some of it is ignorance rather than hatred but the end result is the same.
I cant find it now but I remember reading about a college student (US so that mean uni?) suing her college because they made her sit at the back of the class because her hair was too big for people to see. She rightly pointed out that there were tall guys sat at the front that blocked the people behind but they werent forced to move.

It's extreme and will draw attention to her. In the same way dying it blue, growing it down to her arse or braiding it would.
Nope.

Go for a small undercut first!

Since when was summer “half term?” Why does mumsnet say “half term” every school holiday, when it isn’t.

I agree. I'm hardly "out there" (although I do have short hair, shock, horror!) and I think it's a lovely haircut. I would be proud to have a daughter who didn't just want to follow the herd.

My eldest went from bum length hair to pixi at 7yo. She was the same she wanted a full side undercut at 8yo, I almost let her as we were in and out of lockdowns. I eventually said no as she was returning to a fairly strict school that didn’t allow boys to have things like tramlines etc.. the girls also all looked the same and felt she’d struggle as she was already left out sometimes. Her hairs grown back, she chopped it back a bit last year but is a very typical high school girl with long straight hair again now. I’ve just let her colour it for the holidays, she knows it needs to be back to her natural colour by September.

If the school isn’t going to be difficult about it when she returns I’d go for it.

Absolutely I would let her. I know if it was my daughter I would have reservations about it being an impulse and what if she didn't like it and I would discuss that with her but ultimately what I've always said is - it's only hair. It will grow back. This is the exact age to do things like this, childhood should be one big long experiment of expression.

After reading all the other posts, I just don't know.

But it seems there really are many ways to look at an unusual child's haircut and many quite strong opinions, both ways.

Which means that looks actually are more than just looks, for many people. In a way, hairstyles, dress and so on are a form of communication.

So, I could see people thinking it's just a little kid being allowed to have some harmless fun. Or strengthening her confidence in self-expression or self-determination. Those are valid outlooks, in my opinion.

I could also see it possibly teaching a little girl that appearance is how to get noticed and what makes you interesting. Which is, in its way, kind of the same thing people were saying we don't want, with the patriarchal rules for girls...

It could also set a young child up for nasty looks and comments from those who think it signals that the child and family are "chavvy." We see that is not an unusual opinion from this thread. Is that what you want an eight-year-old to possibly have to deal with?

So... my reply is I don't know. And that's final! 😂

What’s wrong with growing hair “down to her arse”??

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the haircut but I think I would be put off by the upkeep of it, that would need haircuts every 4 weeks I would guess and might be hard to style

It’s Your child - you allow what you like - why would you care about what we think? My child refuses to cut their hair - fine, as long as it’s neat for school and I don’t care what people think.

I teach at a girls' school. Having hair 'down to the arse' is not uncommon at all. Neither are braids. There are a few with undercuts. No blue hair though!

I dont think people care about an 8 year old's hair half as much as you think they do. Do you imagine her walking down the street and everyone gasping and laughing and pointing at her?

As long as she knows she will have to get it cut quite short for school in September, what is the problem?

She might LOVE short hair. My daughter has had a mullet or variations of a short back and sides and various colours during the summer holidays since she was about 11 so 4 years. Do I like it? No. Is it my hair? No. Does SHE love it? She bloody does. She has had the odd comment but tbh at that age anything slightly out of the norm is going to get comments.

Is the hairstyle being discussed very unusual in this girl's age group? What reaction do you think there would likely be to it?

It could also set a young child up for nasty looks and comments from those who think it signals that the child and family are "chavvy." We see that is not an unusual opinion from this thread. Is that what you want an eight-year-old to possibly have to deal with?

Imagine living your life not how you want to, not in a way that makes you happy, but in a way that makes you as invisible as possible, as much a part of the herd as you can be. What a sad, grey life you'd lead. Imagine teaching your daughter that that's how she should live her life. That she shouldn't have what she would like on her own head because some small- minded bigots on Mumsnet were rude and unpleasant. I don't think you'd be able to call yourself a good parent.

The horror! Never too early to teach a young girl to blend in and be invisible eh? Dont draw attention to yourself dear, just stand in the corner quietly with your acceptable and pretty hair.

Alternatively, you can teach her to know her own mind and not be afraid to stand out and how to deal with people who dont like that confidence?

All this palava over a hair cut.